The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

I am making pumpkin pies with all the slush Doodle left in the cellar. I have added some extra 'vegetables' that I found growing on the scrub land at the back of the Argy. They are an odd shape and colour but will be fine . Lemon likes anything that is cheap or better still free.
Probably why she employs all of us.

Oh just walk in Jane we don’t stand on ceremony here.
Bartlett is right to be worried, if left on it’s own your Bentley would be dismantled before you could ask for a pint of poteen.I could send Doodle to lean on a lamp post and stand guard for a small fee, she generally leans on it at some point anyway, all the better to accost passing sailors.

Do you have a doorbell or can I just walk in? You'll know when you see me. I'm wearing my lilac twinset (with pearls for clutching) and a good tweed skirt.
Bartlett has dropped me off but is not happy parking the Bentley outside. I'd be grateful if I could just be shown the way to the interview booths so I can assess Mr Mackays suitability for the job. Not everyone can be an amanuensis.

I don’t know.....?. I’ve forgotten......it’s all this pumpkin slush it’s affected me....who am I? Where am I? What am I doing in this cellar ....

You what? ?

I’m fed up with carving these pumpkins. It’s like a swamp down here in the cellar. I’m coming up now and I want a bar full of drinks ready.
I’ll have a Broomstick Blaster, a pint of stout, half a chilli and a shot of Worcester sauce. You

He’s all yours Jane?he was a bit whiffy, it’s true.

Great work AGA I may try a In The Spirit ( will the spirit move me?)?
Doodle has been busy carving pumpkins......why do they all look like The Admiral?
Callistemon isn’t safe around a man in uniform ( or tge other way round) the brazen hussy.
I think I will come as a vampire on Friday, as I have the
costume over from Whitby Goth Nite.I wonder where I left my teeth?

Hmmm. I've given up on Mr Parsloe- Parsloe. Unfortunately a Mr Mackay has presented himself at the staff entrance. He's apparently rather distressed. He was completely ignored by your staff who seemed fully occupied. I understand that he's not particularly prepossessing and my Butler hinted that he felt that Mr Mackay's personal hygiene was somewhat wanting but I did expect you to at least receive him civilly. I'll send him back down after Bartlett has fumigated him.
I will be down to interview him in the confessional booths later.

Canny Welsh woman! Or we could just lock him in the cellar till he forgets.

Poor man must be exhausted.
I made him sign the Official Secret Liaisons Act.

Witches brew - vodka, raspberry juice and a pinch of gunpowder.
Ghouls delight - brandy, mint leaves and Andrews liver salts.
In the spirit - rum, whisky, gin, syrup of figs.

Thinking caps on you lot for some new cocktails for Friday night....the bar staff will be happy to assist you in some experiments.
I have given Godfrey a haircut Jane his long hair was dangling in the poteen vat when we were out the back, hope you don’t mind? Anyway, we have thoroughly vetted him and you can employ him now.?

There are plenty here who will hang on to Mr Mackay. He will have a problem getting out.

Callistemonhas hung on to Godfrey for 3 days. Poor man must be exhausted.

Shhh, Godfrey or they'll find us!

Don't stop me now, don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time

Just had another telephone call from Mrs Parsloe- Parsloe. Apparently Godfrey has not returned home from his interview. I hadn't interviewed him. I can't think what has happened.
Meantime another application has flooded in. He doesn't sound quite so promising. Apparently, Mr Mackay is a retired accountant and statistician. He's led a very quiet life with his mother and said in his application form that he'd like to 'see life a bit'. Please try to hang on to him at least for long enough for me to actually meet him.

Doodle I’m not sure what you’re implying? I’m a good girl - well that’s what the firemen..........and the policemen.........and the sailors.....and the soldiers........said - “You’re very good” they said.

AGA I think it’s a bit rude to call Farmer Giles a big pumpkin. He’s been very nice to us. I’m sure Lisagran will entice the punters in (just not sure what sort of establishment they will think this is ?)
Ah AGA you know me too well ?
Phoenix please may I borrow Oliver Sprout to put on my broomstick on Friday. Don’t worry, he won’t fall off (he’ll be too scared) ?

And Doodle would probably drag some handsome hunk in there with her.

....and a whole set of rosary beads for the penance?

A confessional may not be a good idea at the Argy. We would need at least 3 days each in there.
Some of us may need more.

I think I've met Godfrey whilst on a cruise in the South Sea Islands.

A true vision in his tropical whites but yes, easily startled when all the lady passengers launched themselves at him, asking him to show them this fabled golden rivet.

We decided to raffle him and guess who won ?
Yes, yours truly
I can give him an excellent reference ?

Hmmm sounds quite the dish of the day Jane?
I will treat him gently , then AGA will treat him gently, then
Doodle then Phoenix etc you get the picture.

Hmm. I had in mind something akin to a sheep dip really. Anyway. An application has flooded in and I'm due to interview a Godfrey Parsloe-Parsloe here tomorrow. Unusually, his mother took the liberty of telephoning me and asking that I don't speak very loudly as he I'd easily startled. Can I assume that your staff will receive him suitably? You'll know its him because he's 6ft 3ins, with broad shoulders, longish hair and still quite tanned from his last job on a cruise ship. He may still be in his tropical whites.

Lisagran

Oops, silly me - I pushed too hard once again.....

Oh Lisagran, I know the feeling. Makes your eyes water.

Thanks Jane we will install a sanitising tank here ( a pail of water and Dettol) by the door.
I like the sound of the confessional.....can we keep it for the next tarts and vicars bash?