The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

If your pooch wants to be in with a chance he’d better do more than punch above his weight - it’s height that matters to Hattie (unless he’s got a box to stand on!);

I’m having a wee tincture just to put myself in the mood as it were....see you all in a bi!

Hello inmates.
Could I have a Breakout Brew please lemon.
I've brought some Breakout Brownies for later, they're choc a block with iron filings, I nicked them, sorry lemon.
I shall bring a puppy to bring Hattie company, he also punches above his weight so will keep those pesky llamas in check. His name's Sam.
By the way, I'm 21, just like my mother was whenever she asked about her age.

Have used AGA’s leads to tie up those dratted llamas to the coat stand......I bribed them with Charleygirl’s sausage rolls,
As hard as bricks but they have strong teeth.

Has Soop been in yet with a basket of baked goods?
Probably too early for her, she only really gets going after 10 pm ( after half a doz Scotches.)

I’m putting me feet up and having a Governors Choice...yum,
Another one pleas Thor, they’re very more-ish, must be the kick of the Dettol.???????
Am loving my prison outfit, so comfy! What’s not to like about an orange boilersuit? Does my bum look big?
Am still in high heels though, one can’t give up all style.

The Argy men won't be on leads Lisa so hope you are as fit as you look! And watch out for the llamas. They love bottom biting.

Lisa not a good idea to be crawling through the tunnel in that outfit. We will have all the men fighting to follow you
That’s the general idea, AGSA4 . I like to have men following me - usually they’re on leads.......

I have been tunnelling with Thor for the last few days in the cellar for our escape route.
Lisa not a good idea to be crawling through the tunnel in that outfit. We will have all the men fighting to follow you.
Laura can I have some absinthe to add to my poteen brew. The dettol has made it go a strange colour.
Lemon we have put the spare soil on the roof of the Argy. You can plant some dandelions and call it a Roof Garden and charge everyone a fiver to go up there.
Doodle after you have crawled through the tunnel you will need more than your insides cleaning out.

Laura
Lisa you’d be lucky to get three. There’s stiff (well sometimes) competition round here and not only from us gals.
I think I’ll have a Within these walls please lemon I could do with a bit of flash to give my insides a quick clean out.

Well that’s what I’m hoping for Doodle - I like a man (or three) in uniform.

Lisagran you and I could be twins, same outfit and everything.

Can I have a Ball and Chain too, extra absinthe please, after all absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Oh Lisagran you’ll have all the prison guards after you if you look like that ?
Charley don’t worry, you can feed your whelk curry to the llamas. They will eat anything (yes evenlemon’s cooking ?)
Sorry Tara can’t make it. Our AGA could help fix up a potion for her if you like.

You’re looking better than ever Lisa.....don’t know what your secret is but if you tell me ( just whisper in my shell like) I will allow you an hour with Gloopy after closing time.Deal?

Right, I’m starting to limber up for tomorrow, so I’ll have a double Ball and Chain please - skip the orange juice / I’ve had my 5 a day today. Just been hosing down my outfit from its last outing - seems to have shrunk a bit...... I heard rumours of policemen strippers - I hope they’ll have Covid compliant truncheons.....

Diet coke? A sandwich?! This is a celebration Charley and your tankard of foaming poteen and a whelk curry will be ready and waiting on the bar for you.Enjoy.

Thor thinks that I’m 35 ( I may have told him that) he assumes I’ve had a hard life ....it does age one running an establishment like this.

Achilles and I started work early to bring you new cocktails for Friday.
We already have Hair Of The Dog of course, but have added
Breakout Brew... cider, Guinness and cassis with a hint of iron filings.
Within These Walls....brandy, Tia Maria, lemonade and a dash of Flash ( an old favourite here)
Governors Choice..... creme de menthe, whisky,cointreau, lime juice with a splash of dettol.
Last ( but not least) Ball and Chain.....voddy, chardonnay, absinthe, orange juice and a drop of Mr Muscle drain cleaner.
?????????

I did say to Doodle I am bringing my own diet coke and also a sandwich. Food poisoning would be high on the list at the Argy but I am so pleased you are caring so much about the dog house 4. It really is so kind of all of you. I do not drink spirits so please have the few litres which would be put aside for me. Would that be gin or vodka?

Tara sends her apologies as she will not be coming. She has recently been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, is taking liquid medicine and is not feeling herself. I am 29 by the way.

I'll find you a job, phoenix
In fact, someone needs to muck out the llamas and you're just the person for that!
?????

I thought the brass looked shiney, Callistemon

62? Well, hope you can keep up with the rest of us spring chickens, phoenix.
I was the oldest at 29 and holding.

Although I feel more like 92 this morning, I was testing out the poteen and vodka last night to make sure it's fit for purpose.

phoenix 62 gracious. You’re a bit old for the Argy. I was 17 on my last birthday. Well it was some combination of those numbers ?.
Will you bring Oliver sprout on Friday. I hope Maw will come with Hattie and Charleygirl with Tara.
I promise I’ll keep the llamas in jail.

As old as 62 eh? Well, we can make allowances for you Phoenix ....there are comfy chairs aplenty in The Argy, but you should know that our age here is not a day over 55 ( that we admit to)?

Sure, there’s many a good tune played on an old fiddle.....and I should know ?

?

No, lemongrove that's not quite what I meant! And anyway, I'm 62, born in 1958, so maybe not quite so old!