Gransnet forums


How to get the feeling from a bad nightmare to go away?

(17 Posts)
MaryTheBookeeper Sun 16-Aug-20 17:21:30

I had a really bad nightmare last night. In the dream I killed myself (in a really nasty way) to prove a point. I knew I was cutting my nose off to spite my face but I didn't care. I was dead set on proving I meant what I'd said. Even though, in my heart of hearts I really didn't feel that way. It was so f*ed up. What a horrible thing to dream. A bad feeling that I can't shake off has lingered around me all day. I've no idea where such a toxic dream came from. I had a nice evening before bed & no dramatic tv. How do you shake these things off?

BlueBelle Sun 16-Aug-20 17:39:19

It will shake itself off but you can help it disappear quicker Every time it pops into your head make a conscious effort to think of something nice it will pop back again so same again keep doing that concentrating on the nice thoughts eventually it will go
I have had similar dreams with a gun that I m holding at my head I ve never ever even held a gun and hate the things So where does that come from ???who knows

GagaJo Sun 16-Aug-20 17:53:45

Read a book. TV doesn't work as well. You need to really get into it and enter the world of the book. It will drive out the dream and replace it.

Nonnapg Sun 16-Aug-20 18:04:51

How horrible for you. If he keeps happening, try some mindfulness such as Headspace or similar app provide, That can help.

Elegran Sun 16-Aug-20 18:27:35

Light on, find dressing-gown and slippers, go and make a cuppa (first pulling bedclothes back up so that the bed isn't ice cold by the time you come back)
While drinking the cuppa, do the thinking-about-nice-things routine.
If it is winter, fill a hot water bottle.
Put cup into dishwasher or give it a quick wash under tap.
Go to the loo.
Return to bed (with hot-water bottle in winter)
Snuggle in.
Think about how nice it is to be in a warm comfortable bed. Think other pleasant thoughts.

If the above doesn't work, read an absorbing book that takes you away from your own thoughts. Set an alarm for a reasonable time, to remind you to put the book away and go back to sleep.

MadeInYorkshire Sun 16-Aug-20 18:33:16

I keep having flashbacks to an event that did occur to me in A&E in February and have similar feelings around it - I have actually put in a complaint and am not happy with their explanations at all - I think that if they told me the truth it just might help - horrid feeling isn't it?

rosecarmel Sun 16-Aug-20 19:06:03

I don't know that I make an effort to forget what I've dreamt, nightmare or pleasant or surreal- Dreams are dependent upon what, not why- But we often want to know why we dreamt about "what" we did-Which is exactly why thoughts and feelings about the dreams we dream linger as we try to decipher their meaning-

Eventually the brain gets tired of trying and thoughts and feelings about the dream naturally subside-

When the movie The Exorcist was released the day after Christmas in 1973 it seemed to disturb males more than females in the area where I lived- Parents actually had impromptu sleepovers during the already busy holiday season so that the boys could spend the nights together and not be frightened- I don't recall a single girl being that freaked out by the movie- I can think of quite a few reasons why that may have been the case! 😂

gillybob Sun 16-Aug-20 19:11:03

My poor DH spent almost 3 months in an induced coma in ICU at the end of last year . 8 months later he is still having the most horrendous nightmares about it . At his follow up appointment we met with the consultant anaesthetist who looked after his as well as a psychiatrist and 2 of the UCU nurses and apparently it is a form of PTSD that may stay with him for life or just disappear. I sincerely hope it’s the latter as the dreams he has are horrific and only loosely based on real experiences . According to the experts there are no known coping mechanisms , just a kind of talk down therapy for waking him up .

gillybob Sun 16-Aug-20 19:12:22

Oops sorry my post above was in response to MadeInYorkshire

Elegran Sun 16-Aug-20 19:16:12

Trying hard to forget may fix it more firmly in the mind than just doing something pleasant and allowing the brain to gradually shift from remembering what was happening in the nightmare to thinking about what is happening at that moment.

Jane10 Sun 16-Aug-20 19:17:45

Thinking about the actual dream. You nearly killed yourself but didn't. You've had some sort of narrow escape perhaps at the hospital? But you made it and all the time you knew you weren't going to kill yourself. Sounds like your mind knitting up some unpleasant loose ends. Try not to worry about it. I'm sure you'll have a great night's sleep tonight and tomorrow's another day. sunshine

welbeck Sun 16-Aug-20 19:25:22

what bout trying to write it down, like a journal.
scribble down quickly, main points, words, images, feelings.
can expand later if wish.
don't worry bout correct english.
if expanding try to describe details eg a gun, what kind, a pistol, an automatic luger-type, clothing, did th man have a beard, was it in a public area/ workplace/ city/country etc.
worth a try. good luck.
or get up, go loo, move about, then log on and tell us all about it; while still bothered by it.
nearly always someone up or different time zone.

mokryna Sun 16-Aug-20 19:33:53

Are you taking medicine as some treatments can create this problem ?

MaryTheBookeeper Sun 16-Aug-20 21:01:48

No medicines. Jane It wasn't that I nearly killed myself. I actually did. I woke up the moment I did it. That's what was so horrible, that I actually did it.

timetogo2016 Mon 17-Aug-20 14:04:58

I have those types of dreams on a regular basis.
It takes a while to shake them off,but eventualy it`s forgotten.
I put it down to having too much going on in your life and the brain hasn`t time to digest it all.
Therfore it makes it`s own stories up.

Farmor15 Mon 17-Aug-20 19:50:31

Mary - how are you feeling today after (hopefully ) a better night’s sleep? I occasionally have those kind of horrible nightmares that leave me unsettled, but they do fade. In one. I killed someone (possibly my husband) and cut their head off- very relieved when I woke up. I still have a vague memory of it years later.

MerylStreep Mon 17-Aug-20 20:12:36

Dreams of killing ones self or killing someone else has nothing to do with committing these acts.
Usually it means that something is coming to an end. Only you can work out what that might mean.
There are some who say that these type of dreams are a sign of low self esteem. Once again, only you know the answer.