Gransnet forums

Chat

funeral plans......bullying

(90 Posts)
boodymum67 Fri 04-Sep-20 15:18:38

I`ve recently been thinking we ought to get something sorted re this topic. We are 67 and 72. We have very little money and no life insurance.

I don't want to leave the sorting out to our daughters.

Hubby is reluctant to talk about the inevitable.

I rang a firm today and had to end the conversation abruptly, due to the attitude the saleswoman.

She took all our details and came up with a plan.
She wanted £300 deposit and a promise of £82 a month for a 10 year plan.....TODAY!

I said I couldn't give a yes or no without talking to my OH.

She became pushy, telling me what a bargain offer I was getting and began to bully me into speaking to my OH there and then.

I told her he was busy and I had to pick my moment when to broach the subject. She continued to bully me into making a decision.

I asked her to send the info in the post. She said it was a one day offer and would go up in price if not taken today.

I told her she was bullying me and rang off.

I have sent a complaint in and suggested she be re-trained in her telephone sales skills.

What would you have done?

Wilma65 Sun 06-Sep-20 09:54:03

Go to your local funeral director. My dad did thst and paid for his funeral. They have plans too. Give some local ones a call

Rumpunch Sun 06-Sep-20 09:56:15

You did the right thing. I suggest you go and visit the funeral director you would like to use. They will have a leaflet from the company that they work with. Be it sun life or what ever.
Then you can talk to them about what you would like or not like.
My Aunt did this 30 years ago and it made things so much easier when she died at 98 just before Christmas - besides saving us a lot of money. (She didn't have a house or assets for us to use). She'd chosen one hymn that she really wanted and the fact that she didn't want any flowers just a donation to her specified charity.

JdotJ Sun 06-Sep-20 10:03:56

My parents both took out plans with Golden Charter some years ago and told me (an only child) and I did think it strange but when the unfortunate time came (Dad in 2014) (Mum 2019), Golden Charter were brilliant. Made a very upsetting and stressful time that little bit easier to cope with as a simple phone call to them, quoting the policy no's swung everything into action.

WoodLane7 Sun 06-Sep-20 10:14:29

Can't be doing with these "it's a today only" offers; if they can offer it today well they can offer it tomorrow or next week and if they say they can't well that's fine, but goodbye and good day!

essjay Sun 06-Sep-20 10:17:41

i have pre paid for a cremation only with simplicity for just under £1,500, the staff were really helpful and friendly. i had previously purchased one with another company but it was nearly £3000, so i cancelled and went with simplicity. You even get a info pack for your next of kin so they know what has been arranged

fluff Sun 06-Sep-20 10:19:07

I always hear alarm bells ringing when a salesperson says that it’s a one day offer, and to be honest I usually tell them to get lost, I’m in business myself , if you’re prepared to do an offer one day you’re prepared to do it the next day also, what magically happens at midnight I wonder ? We recently had a well known company come to quote to install a fitted wardrobe the initial quote was £10,000, after he calculated his special offer it came down to £6000 for a wardrobe , I feel that there was some coercion as he sat in our dining room drawing up plans for ages, which made us feel like he had already put in a lot of work, all the same weren’t going to buy a wardrobe that cost the same as a car!

mbody Sun 06-Sep-20 10:19:26

Go to a reputable local undertaker and discuss face to face.

JuliaM Sun 06-Sep-20 10:25:14

My late fathers funeral cost £3800 for a full burial, floral tribute for the top of his Coffin, and all collection, newspaper obituary announcement, and a tempory wooden cross with inscription to mark his grave. It also included a fairly long journey from the funeral directors to the Churchyard, all grave diggers fees, and Hospital collection fees, and the cost of the churchyard grave lease for 50 years. Due to the Covid restrictions, we could not hold a wake, which would have obviously cost a fair bit extra, but noting like the total that some of these funeral plans are charging.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 06-Sep-20 10:30:10

I think you did exactly the right thing Boody as no-one likes to be bullied. Trying to push people into making a decision straight away can only backfire. I hope I'd be brave enough to do the same.

NemosMum Sun 06-Sep-20 10:38:55

You did right to put the phone down! Don't bother with the much-advertised funeral plans - there is a lot of commission in them, which is probably why the woman you spoke to was so pushy and rude! You can approach your local independent funeral director. They have schemes which are under-written by insurers and guaranteed in case they cease trading, for any reason. We have done this for my dad, for whom we have Lasting Power of Attorney, on the advice of his solicitor. It is much cheaper, and he has the reassurance of knowing that it is all taken care of.

Phloembundle Sun 06-Sep-20 10:52:19

I would have told her to eff off.

rowanflower0 Sun 06-Sep-20 10:54:24

I recently took out a funeral plan, but began by ring a local family firm of funeral directors. I spoke to the daughter of the firm, who talked to me calmly and sympathetically about what I wanted to put in place, she gave me some figures - service at local church. one limousine, coffin, fees and cremation, just over £4000 - they do it through a firm called Golden Leaves - ether by a lump sum or an insurance payment scheme - could she get them to send me some details? The paperwork arrived in the post - I could detail any music or hymns I wanted etc, and change those at a later date if I changed my mind.
I would recommend a phone call to a friendly, discrete local funeral directors.

Shalene777 Sun 06-Sep-20 11:03:29

I think companies who work like that are all cons.
I think you need to decide what it is you want in a funeral.
We have a policy with the CO-OP which is straight to crem. There will be no funeral held just ashes to collect.
I hate a fuss and the thought of people sitting around clutching hankies because I've passed makes me feel ill.

polnan Sun 06-Sep-20 11:07:05

I assume you are talking about a funeral plan?

£3,000 seems the lowest price available for minimum... but that suits me.. no flowers,, who exactly are the flowers for?

no hymns, no religious service, and I am an ongoing church Christian... simple send off.. suits me.

Shinamae Sun 06-Sep-20 11:07:22

I have just signed up with pure cremation, when the time comes once the death is verified a simple phone call and they take everything over. I am not religious and only want to be burnt and scattered, so for me it is ideal and I haven’t got to worry about my children having to go to the trauma of arranging my funeral...... At my age it is £13.78 a month and as long as I’ve made 24 payments when I die it will be fully covered which I think is excellent .....

win Sun 06-Sep-20 11:09:31

Co-op funeral Care are good with lots of choice, as are many other large companies. You get to choose who you want to use from 3 local providers. You can also donate 1% of the charge at no cost to you to one of your local 3 causes. it is a win, win situation all around. (I do not work for the Co-op, but our Support Group does benefit from one of the local causes this year and are very grateful too

Petalpop Sun 06-Sep-20 11:15:32

What an awful woman. How dare she try and bully you for her own financial gain.

Having seen earlier comments I am going to contact Pure Cremations. I am not religious and just want my family to scatter me in local woods. I have already written the verse I want said as they scatter me. Then I want them all to go and have a bloody good knees up and always remember me kindly. I do understand that the majority of people would prefer a traditional funeral but OP I am sure there are many caring and reasonably priced funeral directors around rather than the one you had the misfortune to speak to initially.

Theoddbird Sun 06-Sep-20 11:30:58

You were right to complain. Well done you

Aepgirl Sun 06-Sep-20 11:31:41

Bloody mum, I suspect that is exactly how she has been trained. They usually work on commission, and attend sales seminars beforehand. You were quite right to end the conversation. If it is a funeral plan you are wanting, why not contact a well-established local funeral director to ask if they have such a plan.

Aepgirl Sun 06-Sep-20 11:32:38

Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you Bloody mum - how rude of me.

Boodymum is what I meant!,,

Kim19 Sun 06-Sep-20 11:51:50

Well done for holding your ground against pushy salesmanship. My defences come up when they start asking for personal details. Their questions can be slipped in so surreptitiously. First thing you have to decide is exactly what kind of departure you want. I've told my children, done the research etc. Neither like it. One will adhere out of respect and the other....I don't know..... Relectantly, I think I will have to write it all down and go to a solicitor. I wanted what cash I have to go completely to the boys but....there y' go. Incidentally, I think chances are high that and your husband may not want similar send offs so do your own and let him do his own in due course. I think specific wishes make life easier for those left behind. Who knows? At the moment 'choice' is not much of an option. Good luck with whatever you manage to do.

Blinko Sun 06-Sep-20 11:55:18

Speaking just in terms of the cash, why would someone need a funeral plan if they own a property? The funeral is simply billed to the estate... Unless you have very particular wishes regarding service, words, eulogy and all that (and you're not actually there to hear it all, are you?) what would be the point?

Blinko Sun 06-Sep-20 11:57:16

Pure Cremations or the Co op sound fine to me. Might investigate.

Mealybug Sun 06-Sep-20 12:24:05

She wouldn't have got past the first sentence with that attitude. Do your own research in your own time, don't be pressured by anyone. Just put the phone down if she rings again or block her number.

Graygirl Sun 06-Sep-20 12:32:18

About 5/6years ago we had £8,000 in savings account. Don't know how it came up one day, but the end result was a trip to co-op funeral services . We wanted different types of funeral so each shorted it out . The change payed for 4weeks site fees for a tour of dorset in our vintage motorhome.