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funeral plans......bullying

(90 Posts)
boodymum67 Fri 04-Sept-20 15:18:38

I`ve recently been thinking we ought to get something sorted re this topic. We are 67 and 72. We have very little money and no life insurance.

I don't want to leave the sorting out to our daughters.

Hubby is reluctant to talk about the inevitable.

I rang a firm today and had to end the conversation abruptly, due to the attitude the saleswoman.

She took all our details and came up with a plan.
She wanted £300 deposit and a promise of £82 a month for a 10 year plan.....TODAY!

I said I couldn't give a yes or no without talking to my OH.

She became pushy, telling me what a bargain offer I was getting and began to bully me into speaking to my OH there and then.

I told her he was busy and I had to pick my moment when to broach the subject. She continued to bully me into making a decision.

I asked her to send the info in the post. She said it was a one day offer and would go up in price if not taken today.

I told her she was bullying me and rang off.

I have sent a complaint in and suggested she be re-trained in her telephone sales skills.

What would you have done?

polnan Sun 06-Sept-20 11:07:05

I assume you are talking about a funeral plan?

£3,000 seems the lowest price available for minimum... but that suits me.. no flowers,, who exactly are the flowers for?

no hymns, no religious service, and I am an ongoing church Christian... simple send off.. suits me.

Shalene777 Sun 06-Sept-20 11:03:29

I think companies who work like that are all cons.
I think you need to decide what it is you want in a funeral.
We have a policy with the CO-OP which is straight to crem. There will be no funeral held just ashes to collect.
I hate a fuss and the thought of people sitting around clutching hankies because I've passed makes me feel ill.

rowanflower0 Sun 06-Sept-20 10:54:24

I recently took out a funeral plan, but began by ring a local family firm of funeral directors. I spoke to the daughter of the firm, who talked to me calmly and sympathetically about what I wanted to put in place, she gave me some figures - service at local church. one limousine, coffin, fees and cremation, just over £4000 - they do it through a firm called Golden Leaves - ether by a lump sum or an insurance payment scheme - could she get them to send me some details? The paperwork arrived in the post - I could detail any music or hymns I wanted etc, and change those at a later date if I changed my mind.
I would recommend a phone call to a friendly, discrete local funeral directors.

Phloembundle Sun 06-Sept-20 10:52:19

I would have told her to eff off.

NemosMum Sun 06-Sept-20 10:38:55

You did right to put the phone down! Don't bother with the much-advertised funeral plans - there is a lot of commission in them, which is probably why the woman you spoke to was so pushy and rude! You can approach your local independent funeral director. They have schemes which are under-written by insurers and guaranteed in case they cease trading, for any reason. We have done this for my dad, for whom we have Lasting Power of Attorney, on the advice of his solicitor. It is much cheaper, and he has the reassurance of knowing that it is all taken care of.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 06-Sept-20 10:30:10

I think you did exactly the right thing Boody as no-one likes to be bullied. Trying to push people into making a decision straight away can only backfire. I hope I'd be brave enough to do the same.

JuliaM Sun 06-Sept-20 10:25:14

My late fathers funeral cost £3800 for a full burial, floral tribute for the top of his Coffin, and all collection, newspaper obituary announcement, and a tempory wooden cross with inscription to mark his grave. It also included a fairly long journey from the funeral directors to the Churchyard, all grave diggers fees, and Hospital collection fees, and the cost of the churchyard grave lease for 50 years. Due to the Covid restrictions, we could not hold a wake, which would have obviously cost a fair bit extra, but noting like the total that some of these funeral plans are charging.

mbody Sun 06-Sept-20 10:19:26

Go to a reputable local undertaker and discuss face to face.

fluff Sun 06-Sept-20 10:19:07

I always hear alarm bells ringing when a salesperson says that it’s a one day offer, and to be honest I usually tell them to get lost, I’m in business myself , if you’re prepared to do an offer one day you’re prepared to do it the next day also, what magically happens at midnight I wonder ? We recently had a well known company come to quote to install a fitted wardrobe the initial quote was £10,000, after he calculated his special offer it came down to £6000 for a wardrobe , I feel that there was some coercion as he sat in our dining room drawing up plans for ages, which made us feel like he had already put in a lot of work, all the same weren’t going to buy a wardrobe that cost the same as a car!

essjay Sun 06-Sept-20 10:17:41

i have pre paid for a cremation only with simplicity for just under £1,500, the staff were really helpful and friendly. i had previously purchased one with another company but it was nearly £3000, so i cancelled and went with simplicity. You even get a info pack for your next of kin so they know what has been arranged

WoodLane7 Sun 06-Sept-20 10:14:29

Can't be doing with these "it's a today only" offers; if they can offer it today well they can offer it tomorrow or next week and if they say they can't well that's fine, but goodbye and good day!

JdotJ Sun 06-Sept-20 10:03:56

My parents both took out plans with Golden Charter some years ago and told me (an only child) and I did think it strange but when the unfortunate time came (Dad in 2014) (Mum 2019), Golden Charter were brilliant. Made a very upsetting and stressful time that little bit easier to cope with as a simple phone call to them, quoting the policy no's swung everything into action.

Rumpunch Sun 06-Sept-20 09:56:15

You did the right thing. I suggest you go and visit the funeral director you would like to use. They will have a leaflet from the company that they work with. Be it sun life or what ever.
Then you can talk to them about what you would like or not like.
My Aunt did this 30 years ago and it made things so much easier when she died at 98 just before Christmas - besides saving us a lot of money. (She didn't have a house or assets for us to use). She'd chosen one hymn that she really wanted and the fact that she didn't want any flowers just a donation to her specified charity.

Wilma65 Sun 06-Sept-20 09:54:03

Go to your local funeral director. My dad did thst and paid for his funeral. They have plans too. Give some local ones a call

Moggycuddler Sun 06-Sept-20 09:52:28

My husband and I went with Pure Cremations. £1,500 each for body collection, cremation and ashes returned. The money is protected and the company and service are helpful, polite, and get excellent reviews. You can arrange a payment plan. They are easy to find online and will send you a brochure.

MerylStreep Sun 06-Sept-20 09:52:16

boodymum
If having a funeral is important to you and yours then you have to find something that suits your finances.
Or, you could do as we have done and donate your body to science.

sazz1 Sun 06-Sept-20 09:49:01

I would have hung up as soon as she put any pressure on ie talk to husband now, only for today etc

janestheone Sun 06-Sept-20 09:44:27

I took out a life insurance policy, £50 a month, my two adult children as beneficiaries. It would pay out about £9K if I died today, which is enough for a funeral. If I live to 86 (another 20 years) it won’t make financial sense any more. If I make it that far and am of sound mind I’ll buy a funeral plan. No OH to consider.

Coconut Sun 06-Sept-20 09:43:19

I would’ve just put the phone down on her the very second that I felt pressurised. I know businesses are desperate for cash at present but this is just unacceptable. Am sure Age Concern would offer good advice.

Floradora9 Sat 05-Sept-20 16:27:19

We had a financial advisor visit us . We had spoken on the phone already and he wanted to speak about a funeral plan . I cut him off there and then but when he visited he brought it up again. Must be good commission for them . Look at the Co-Op though I would never have one . Just a direct cremation for us no funeral at all .

Davidhs Fri 04-Sept-20 19:49:32

A straightforward cremation or burial in this area is £2500 - £3000 any memorial or wake would be extra. The cost would come out of your estate, you don’t need a funeral plan it’s just another way of getting money out of you. Keep a reasonable balance in your building society account, transfer £50 or so a month is an easy way of doing it.

Witzend Fri 04-Sept-20 19:33:17

I hope you find a deal you’re happy with OP, that is if you still think it’s a good idea.

This sort of tactic - ‘You have to say yes NOW - the offer’s only for today!’ is sadly all too common - I’ve experienced it from a double glazing salesman, and from someone who came to quote for fitted wardrobes.
I didn’t order from either.

Someone from the DG company phoned later to ask why I hadn’t ordered. I said I found that sort of sales pitch completely off-putting, and it was an insult to anyone’s intelligence to try to kid them that this ‘special offer’ was just for them, just for today.

LadyBella Fri 04-Sept-20 18:10:31

Beware of salespeople in your home or on the phone. I'd suggest visiting a Funeral place, such as the Co-op perhaps, and see what the options are.

Oopsminty Fri 04-Sept-20 18:09:54

I'd have done the same as you, boodymum67

jeanrobinson Fri 04-Sept-20 18:04:41

My late husband (a canny Yorkshireman), left instructions that he was to have "the cheapest possible funeral", and we went to the local Co-op undertaker with that. I benefited from the money he left, and have left similar instructions for my children.