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(81 Posts)
amymorris01 Fri 04-Sep-20 20:02:10

Im due to retire in Jan after working all my life and Im starting to feel very apprehensive about it.
My DH is 8years younger than me so I will be at home alone for a few years.
I worry that im giving up quite a good wage and will have to watch the pennys is this usual.
I have RA and have both knees replaced and have screws in my ankle so I think it is time for me to retire Im just worrying if im doing the right thing as you can stay at work for ever if you want now.
Is this normal to worry?

henetha Sat 05-Sep-20 09:57:20

I leapt at retirement at the first opportunity. And I love it.
There are so many things you can do, of your own choosing.
It's normal to worry about it though, but it sounds to me like it might be the best option for you . Good luck whatever you decide.

Sarnia Sat 05-Sep-20 09:58:23

I am 72 and during lockdown I decided to retire. Of course, it is different. Retirement is not a green light to sit down all day. Keeping busy is key for both physical and mental health. I wouldn't worry about it. I find I am far less stressed because I can arrange my week to suit me. Retire and enjoy it.

Nannapat1 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:00:22

I was greatly looking forward to retiring at 68 but unfortunately my retirement coincided with (but not because of) the lockdown and I confess I have not dealt well with it as all my plans have been put on hold. I was even resentful when my DH was able to return to work in June. Hopefully by the time you do retire life will be more 'normal' and you quickly wonder how you found time to work!

GuestCorrectly Sat 05-Sep-20 10:03:30

Retired now for 6+ years and it’s been the best time of my life. Even the last few months have been easier to handle than with the problems so many who are working have had to endure. Obviously money is a concern; will enough be enough? You save on work associated costs (commuting, lunches, clothes) but after that you have to decide where or where not to be frugal to live the life you and not the diktats of work choose.

Craftycat Sat 05-Sep-20 10:14:57

My DH is 13 years younger than I am so I understand your feelings. All I can say is that I retired 7 years ago & it is great. I have all the time in the world to do all those things I never had time for. I see my friends a lot & have joined several groups-- yoga. dancing etc. & I feel I am a new person. Plenty of time to see DGC too.
Look forward to it & start thinking about all the fun newcthings you can try.
I'm dreading DH retiring now - he has been home all these last long months & I can't wait for him to be able to get back to work.

Tedd1 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:19:12

The only down side to retirement is that time passes much too quickly!

amymorris01 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:26:04

Thanks everyone so glad you all enjoy your retirement it makes me feel a lot better.
Hope you feel better too Chris3.
I now feel I can look forward to my new non working life. I know I wont miss the commute into London thats for sure and only have to answer to myself... oh and DH sometimes? Hugs!

Corkie91 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:27:55

I love retirement took early retirement know too many people who worked until they dropped and that was not for me, I now enjoy travelling going to theatre, concerts, cinema. There is many ways you can get free tickets to events so it does not cost a package.

seadragon Sat 05-Sep-20 10:29:57

I retired 8 years ago at 62 to look after a grand baby till she was 3 years old... It eased me into retirement so that when we returned in 2015, to our own home several hundred miles away and I discovered that our joint pensions came to the same income as I'd had from my job, which we had been living on for the past decade, I decided not to seek further employment of any kind. It's just as well because I had a cardiac episode in 2016 which necessitated my having 3 stents implanted in my heart... The road to recovery was slow but I have plenty of friends her and my DH of half a century(!). I have never been bored... I couldn't have continued working as a social worker anyway with so few resources to offer and the changes to the benefits system. It would have destroyed me...

Jeannie59 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:35:21

could someone tell me how to how to post a thread on here please?
I am adding this to another persons message as I don't know how to do it

FarNorth Sat 05-Sep-20 10:35:55

My job was quite physical and kept me fit, I believe.
However, since stopping work, I have had far fewer of the minor aches and pains that I had thought were all down to age.

Shirls52000 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:35:58

I went part time at 60 once my NHS pension kicked in and then retired fully at 61 and a half ( don’t forget the half ... lol) the day before my daughter gave birth to my first grandchild. I found I was really busy helping her right up until lockdown and then I got bored. Have ended up going back to work doing bank work during the pandemic to keep me occupied and it’s certainly helped and added a little bit of rainy day money to help keep me going until I get my state pension at 66 in 2 1/2 years. Am back now helping with child care so will probs only work to November, I m lucky I can pick and choose shifts, and then I ll re retire hopefully for good. Everyone is different and if you ve been used to being busy it’s just about finding things to motivate and interest you as you move into the next phase which can be really exciting xx

FarNorth Sat 05-Sep-20 10:40:32

Jeannie59 Tap 'Forums' at the to of this page
Choose a category, e.g. Chat.
Then click on 'Add thread' at the foot the page.

maryrose54 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:42:01

I retired 2 years ago after working over 25 years as TA in an infant school. Decided to retire as I found that my heart wasn't in it anymore for various work related reasons. For the first few weeks it was lovely knowing that my time was my own.What I began to miss though was the routine and structure to my day, even though I only worked half day for the last couple of years there. Seeing grandchildren more often is a bonus, but am yet to find something that makes me feel "fulfilled". Voluntary work is a good idea, but locally it is mainly working in charity shops. I need to be more active than just being at home reading a good book or pursuing a hobby. Maybe when the Covid situation eases, there will be more opportunities.

Babs758 Sat 05-Sep-20 10:57:12

I am 60 and still working. But I asked My employer if I could go down to 4 days a week and draw down some of my pension. The idea was to get some freedom and time back and have some long weekends away. It was all agree and signed off. And then lockdown happened!

I like my extra time off but realise I do need some structure in my life so am going to rethink the retirement thing. Not sure I could retire full time.

Cumbrian123 Sat 05-Sep-20 11:00:32

I retired in January this year, well paid but high pressure job.
It takes a while to ‘wind’ down but after 3 months, got bored and found a little part time job which I love and don’t miss the pressure of high flying and never having time for anything or anyone.
As others have said, you certainly don’t need or spend so much money either.
Covid-19 has been a real blow to all of us mind but there’s life after work. Good luck.

crazyH Sat 05-Sep-20 11:11:11

I wish I had a job to retire from. Despite having a very good education, I never ever worked, because my exhusband was a very high paid professional. He said I would never need to work.(Culture warning!!!!) ..wanted me to stay home and bring up the kids. I had three and don't regret a second of that. But now, divorced, (had a fairly reasonable settlement including alimony), and quite lonely, really. Children have their own lives. Also, the fact that I am dependent on his cheque every month is quite demoralising. This is why, we should teach our young women to follow a career and be independent.

Jane10 Sat 05-Sep-20 11:13:32

I found it important to have a little structure ie at least one planned activity a day during the week so that weekends still felt 'special' if you know what I mean. That worked well for me until the dreaded lockdown.

Aepgirl Sat 05-Sep-20 11:13:33

Amymorris, are you able to perhaps get a part-time or reduced hours job so that you don’t go straight from full-time to nothing? This could ease you in gently. I did exactly that and it helps financially and keeps me sane.

BluePizzaWalking Sat 05-Sep-20 11:15:29

I went part time for 6 years before fully retiring, gradually doing less paid work hours year on year but taking on voluntary caring responsibilities for my elderly parents and my young grandson so I still felt useful. I also began to create a social life for myself and so was ready to leap into proper retirement in January this year. There have been times I regretted retiring and briefly considered applying for work. However I am now used to fitting a lot less into my days, but enjoying what I do do more because I can concentrate on it rather than be planning what I have to fit in later that day.
A 62 year old friend of mine died last week. She retired at 60 because she was feeling ill and was diagnosed with Alzheimers. She therefore had only a very short period when she was well enough to enjoy her retirement with her husband.
So if you can manage financially on your pension, retire and give it a go. If you don't like it you can always try looking for work again. You've got nothing to lose by trying retirement now. But if you don't retire and your health does fail you will miss the joy of being free to go out and do what you want whenever that comes with retirement. I think that would be a bigger regret on your death bed than retiring too early.

Unigran4 Sat 05-Sep-20 11:18:53

I had a full-on job and held copious amounts of information in my head that had absolutely no use to anything except that job. I worried about what would fill that void in my head when I retired. I felt lost for the first 6 months or so, not sure where I fitted in.

Then, whilst listening to a friend who had recently lost her husband, I recognised many similarities with what she was describing about her loss, and suddenly realised that I was grieving too - not for a lost partner but for my job! That was so liberating! I knew grieving would come to a natural end (and it did) but I just had to bide my time.

Be prepared for grief, but don't mistake it for regret.

Bluekitchen192 Sat 05-Sep-20 11:20:33

If you are someone who loved work (which I did) you will miss the feeling of achievement and satisfaction, even if you are happy you no longer commute or get up early. My suggestion is that you try to reduce hours or days, so you have a gradual slide rather than an abrupt change.

Look about you for projects to replace work. Local politics did it for me originally and then I developed a community project which absorbs me in a way my last years at work did not. Fortunately the fear of being useless kicked I when my last child left for university ,so I already knew I needed to be involved in something bigger than myself to be happy. I tried a post graduate course as did many of my male friends, and I also joined a choir, a book club and took up a little gardening. All fine but nothing as good as a volunteer project which will leave a legacy for others when I'm gone. As Erica Jong once said. Get ready to be eighty three my dear.

Coco51 Sat 05-Sep-20 11:28:33

I had to retire (actually dismissed without pension for disability and being unable to fulfil my contract of employment) at age 53. Itwas hard at the time but the upside was that I was able to accommmodate my necessary limitations. 16 years later I still suffer severe chronic pain and other health issues, but my life is my own - I’m not constricted by work commitments. So my advice is to retire now and enjoy life, because your health problems may escalate and you will have lost the capacity to undertake activities you had looked forward to doing in retirement. PS - it’s not true that work defines you/gives you purpose/is necessary for your wellbeing.

amymorris01 Sat 05-Sep-20 11:28:53

BluePuzzleWalking. I agree with you entirely. My friends BIL was ill with cancer and was hoping to last to draw his state pension sadly he died a month before he could claim it.
Its not the giving up work not feeling useful stuff that brothers me its more financal,But my DH has helped me work out all this and I know money-wise I will be ok. It just seemed a big step to take if I dont have to. I will be 66 in jan and I think that I dont want to die in work so im convinced now after reading all the helpful posts that im really not that worried anymore. You cant work forever you deserve some down time I think. Also if I get bored I can always try to find a little job even if its non paid.

jaylucy Sat 05-Sep-20 11:41:44

Oh I wish that I could retire - at 62 I have at least 5 more years to go before I'm pension age .
I was made redundant 5 years ago and apart from a temp job where I was made to feel like an idiot because there was not one day that I didn't do something wrong for 7 months, I have not been able to find a permanent job despite 14 years in customer service and admin! They tell you that "you have lots of experience that any employer would be happy to have"
Just to be able to retire and be able to do what I want to do as and when without the feeling of someone looking over my shoulder and checking up on me, would be heaven!