Asking their son or daughter "What kind of a mum was I?"

I am proud of all my children. They have all done well in their lives but mostly they are all kind-hearted and caring and I hope that maybe I was a good enough parent.

I would be afraid to ask as I was ill after daughter and kids had a hard time with child minder. She didn't notice the younger ones being badly bullied.
Eldest son still complains about being neglected by his dad. Never played football, bought ice cream,never allowed on fairground rides etc. I tried to explain that in those days dads were mostly at work or out but he still resents this.

I think the measure of one’s parenting is usually found in the relationship one has with the offspring as adults. That my kids actually choose to visit, go out for meals etc means they choose, as adults, to spend time with me. I take that as affirmation that, taking all things into account, they must think that my parenting was OK. And I look at them sometimes think ‘you know, I’d like you as a person even if you weren’t my child’.

My DS is always telling his children what a hard childhood he and his sister had, no toys, getting smacked, made to do chores......

Not true of course, well, the smacks were?, but in all seriousness, they didn’t have much spent on them compared to what they spend on their children, holidays, presents, meals out etc., so I do wonder what they really think to their rather more frugal upbringing.

We were much more careful, tried to save etc. not the same mindset.

Opening Pandora's Box !!

No, I don’t really feel the need to know to be honest, I’ve always done the best I could, what if it came back and the reply that I was a shocker ??? I’d be mortified, but seriously I don’t really feel the need to ask, I tend to live more in the now and I’m carrying how I always did although obviously they are AC , also what could you do about it if you get an answer you don’t like, or one of my lot says you weren’t and the others say you were and are. You can’t change things

I suspect that I would get a different answer from each child.