Heavy Handed Teacher of Seven Year Olds.

trisher crikey yes, isn't the mum a deputy head too? Eeks!

As a retired teacher of over 40 years experience, I found that when there was a need to speak to a child or take appropriate action regarding work /inappropriate behaviour etc the child usually accepted that the sanction was fair. I always explained to a child why I was taking such action and encouraged them to express their opinion. The problem arose with parents when they got home. The child might mention in passing that they were kept in at break time or whatever and parents would come storming into school or phone up complaining. In many cases the problem lies not with the child but the parents. The child may well have forgotten about the incident but some parents seem to want to make an issue of it and ultimately cause children more distress. I have seen this happen time and time again with both parents and grandparents. Where this is a serious, genuine cause for concern such as a child being singled out continually then of course parents need to speak to the teacher. I would always end the day by saying something like ‘ tomorrow’s another day and what happened is now forgotten and in the past’.
I see past pupils often and I love hearing about how well they are getting on. One of the comments they often make is ‘you were always fair Miss’. I think most teachers are fair and supportive and only want the best for their students. Today they have a very difficult job.

I think one photo of the child would be bad enough, but of her with her mother and grandmother???

Yes trisher I agree.

Well I've asked Ellianne only because of the subject of the thread. I think it is the first thing I have ever reported. But I am really concerned, not for the OP's GD because that is her prerogative, but for the school, the teacher and all the other children.

I'm debating if I should ask GN to remove it.

I thought that at the start trisher. But surely that is the perogative of the OP? I would be well miffed if a photo of mine were removed without consent.

I'm shocked to see a photo of the child on here. It could not only identify the child but through that the teacher. Careers have been ruined through less. I'm debating if I should ask GN to remove it.
The OP said that her DGS was looking forward to having this teacher in Yr 6 so he can't be absolutely awful. Children usually exaggerate a teacher's characteristics in school gossip and issue dire warnings to others. I remember a friend whose GS was going into a certain teacher's class coming to ask me if the stories about him shouting were true, she thought her GS wouldn't cope. I assured her he was perfectly fair and only shouted at those who needed it. A few weeks later her GS loved that teacher like most of the pupils.

Ellianne

What children tell their parents about what goes on at school is nothing compared with what (little) children tell teachers goes on at home!!

True!
As in ‘my Daddy showts and drinks wicksey’ ?

At the same time, any child who is genuinely emotionally distressed has to be listened to by parent and teacher.

I used to tell the children in my school, "what happens at school stays at school." The idea was to sort things out before they escalated and the kids went home whinging.
I once had a parent phone me up at 10pm on a Friday because their son had left a trainer at school and they needed it for the weekend. Of course, they made out it was the teacher who had been hurrying the child to pack away at home time and now had ruined the child's weekend.

But also, leaping in to school, with accusations or blame is a CERTAIN way to alienate the school staff. I speak as a parent now, not a teacher.

I had wonderful grandparents but I know they would never have got so involved in a situation like this, neither would I. It is the parents who should be speaking to the teacher if they have any concerns. I feel that the involvement of grandparents can sometimes make matters worse as they are unlikely to provide an objective view and will almost always take the child’s side.

I just thought the entire thread showed how quickly a situation becomes inflamed. The incident may well have been exactly as the child described however several posters including myself put forward the theory that there could be another side to the story.....completely ignored by other posters.
I was also frankly amazed to see the photos.

I agree with those sharing a concern. I thought the inital comment was inflammatory and designed to show grandparents in a bad light, e.g. teacher blaming. The photographs just add fuel to that belief, and unfortunately, most comments on here fed into that 'blame culture'.

I share the concerns about the OP posting photographs of her granddaughter. The child is too young to give informed consent to her image being shared on a forum. The potential for it being used in newspaper articles seems obvious to me. Is that what the OP wants.

Another one here who has concerns about safeguarding and the photo, though I think it was innocently done without thinking of the fact that the child could be identified.
My DGD's parents would not be happy if I posted a picture of her on GN.

I agree Ellianne.

She looks a very happy child and it is good she has her dancing to enjoy and at which to excel out of school.
Call me over cautious, but I am a bit concerned some of this discussion is focusing too heavily on the child, and now that a photo of her has been posted in public, she could all too easily be identified.
I am sure GN will consider a request by the OP to remove it.

Sandrahill

My second post on the first page of this thread discloses that my DD did exactly that by email to the teacher. This is the recommended method of making contact at the moment. It would appear that the incident unfolded as described by my DGD.
Since I live over 200 miles away, I am in no position - nor would I presume - to become directly involved. .

I would not ge so reactive until you have all the facts- from the teacher himself. Go to him directly first and politely ask for an explanation. You do not know what really happened- onky the child’s perspective. Perhaps the teacher spent a good 10/15 minutes prior to the task clearly outlining what was required and she wasn’t listening. So- get BOTH sides before you react.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202009/medium-457508-7c7f8388-7733-434b-ad5a-eb85e242b0ee.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202009/medium-902735-5afec12f-ebdf-4232-82bf-6eb269d7347c.jpeg

Lorelei

Thank you for your warm response, as are so many of the replies! The detailed assumptions you’ve made about my DGD make me think you must know her! She is spirited and determined - we wonder what teenage years will bring! I appreciate your kind and supportive comments.

My DGD is bright and confident and I hope she can put this incident behind her. She would be a most conscientious pupil for an adult whom she respects (eg she’s a gifted dancer and adores her talented dance teacher who is firm but fair) I hope this man will prove himself worthy of respect from all his pupils.

The photos show DGD at a dance festival and on a recent holiday, sitting twixt DD and me.

Whether or not the teacher was right [and I think not,, that's not how things work in the adult world that children are working towards] the important thing is how this teacher made the child feel. So many on here have recounted how a teacher pounced on their work that they thought was good, that they'd put a lot of work into and torn it up or otherwise humiliated them. Do adults learn from being humiliated and feeling unlistened to ? If any of us does something wrong at work how would we feel if we were treated that way? Would we not want to be kindly and gently put right, our effort acknowledged, the good things praised, and discussion as to how to do differently, as there had obviously been a misunderstanding? Maybe the person is actually not right, maybe they have not been clear as to what is needed and you have followed what they said rather than what they meant. Why should children be treated worse than that
someone mentioned a horrible teacher whose behaviour affected the whole of her econdary education. 'Some sixty years later I can remember the hurt and humiliation she caused me' sorry, can't remember who that was but hugs, would any teacher want to be remembered like that and would any teacher want her legacy to be that of blighting a child's life. At very best the teacher should work on her deskside manner
I'll briefly mention the time when my son had problems with his maths and got into trouble about it, his Dad worked out that he had not understood something that underlay the topic and the teacher had not picked up on it, which obviously she should have done. We got a grudging apology but what about the child that didn't have a former maths teacher as a father, they'd have probably floundered and given up as too hard when in fact it was a failure on the part of the teacher to ensure that he had understood it, before moving on. He cannot have been the only child not to have understood, he went on to get a Maths A level so he was quite mathematically minded, Had he not he'd not have got into Uni to do his chosen subject. Other children might have just given up had the problem not been unpicked and solved

It' good to read your granddaughter responded by gaining the 'Star Of The Week' award - regardless of the teacher's motivation it shows a steely determination to do well whatever the obstacles - please tell her even strangers are proud of her I Hope she regains any lost confidence or finds the bravado to cover it.

I also hope the teacher finds more constructive ways to achieve the results he wants. It is a little worrying that if he reacts so strongly and somewhat aggressively to minor infractions how would he deal with more serious issues (e.g. disruptive behaviour in class, untidy work, incomplete homework, kids dealing with difficult home lives etc?) I would like to think the teacher may have learned something important here and will be become a better provider of education because of it.

I wish your granddaughter all the best for the rest of her schooling, hope she fills a big chart with those awards (and many more types) and goes on to be happy in her chosen career etc - the little lady has already shown some true spirit.

I would be waiting for the day that this teacher made a spelling mistake in anything which was sent home!!

Lizzy-p-b they appeared in my GS English and Maths books with amazing regularity. You’re right it’s an unacceptable workload but most here wouldn’t have tried it. I’ll ask my GD what she gets now.