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How many vehicles does a man need?

(11 Posts)
Mambypamby Thu 17-Sep-20 18:01:35

My partner of two years lives with me in my home. He has his own house where his ex wife and 3 adult children live. Since living with me he has bought a camper and a motorbike and is planning to buy another motorbike. He is new to riding and what an age to start 58 with poor balance! He can't get on with the bike so is now looking at one with two wheels on the front for stability but has kept very quiet when I've mentioned trading in the current one. My house has room on the side for the bikes but that's besides the point. I don't want the house turned into a graveyard for unused motorbikes. The camper hasn't had an outing apart from one brief weekend last year and is parked in the road, taking up very limited space in the close where we live. Granted we had lockdown so that put paid to trips plus the camper is old and needed work. I feel like saying he can take one of the motorbikes to his house and park it on his drive. I'm sure the ex won't be impressed. But it is irritating me that he is more interested in getting another bike than getting rid of this one. He is prone to collecting things - buying stuff that turns out to be useless then just sits there taking space. He has already accumulated a large wardrobe full of biking paraphernalia, jackets, gloves etc but the bike has barely moved! I think that once he gets the new bike he won't bother to sell the old one and I will be stuck with it on the side of the house. It is a small house in a built up area and I can't abide clutter. AIBU?

Oopsadaisy4 Thu 17-Sep-20 18:17:57

Well if you want him to treat your home as his own then YUABU, but if he is just ‘lodging’ with you then he must live by your rules.

Depends on how permanent you want it the relationship to be, presumably you want him to sell his house and buy into yours or buy one between you.?

Methinks a conversation is due.

Davidhs Thu 17-Sep-20 18:31:16

New partners come with “baggage” of one kind or another and it’s up to you to balance the credits and debits. Mine came with loads of stuff and I rent 2 shipping containers to store it, I don’t grumble about her stuff so we get along fine.

M0nica Thu 17-Sep-20 19:20:18

Did you know about his interest invehicles when yu got together? Did he do this when he was with his wife (or did her refusal to countenance it contribute to the breakdown.

If you nothing of his motor squirrel tendences when you moved in together, then now is the time sit down and talk about it. It is still just your house and if your relationship were to end you wouldn't want to be landed with a garden of old vehicles to dispose of, because I doubt he would take them with him when he went.

Often the fear of having a talk like this leads to more trouble than addressing it head on.

Jimjam1 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:21:06

Very nice that he can afford to buy these vehicles whilst living under your roof. Urgent conversation needed.

vampirequeen Thu 17-Sep-20 19:42:35

I'm afraid I'd be like him if I could afford the vehicles. I'd have a trike rather than a motorbike for comfort and balance. I miss our campervan so I'd have another. I'd also have a Land Rover simply because I want one, a comfy travelling car like a Mondeo and an electric run around for shopping or city travel. I'd also have folding electric bike to go in the campervan.

You need to talk to him about his 'hobby' because he may not realise it's a problem. To him it may be perfectly natural to have so many vehicles.

MerylStreep Thu 17-Sep-20 19:44:41

Unfortunately you are living with a hoarder of toot. I've know many of them over the years. They have good intentions but not the money or the skills to fix the toot that somebody else has been lucky enough to offload on to them.

MerylStreep Thu 17-Sep-20 19:48:28

I should add, we have 4 vehicles. My Ford, my OHs Ford built in 1937, a motohome towing a smart car.
Yes I do use the smart but I often need 4 seats for the grandchildren.

annsixty Thu 17-Sep-20 20:06:07

Meryl that 1937 vintage Ford was “born “ in the best possible year and needs loving and cherishing to enable it to last for years yet.
It will repay all the kindness you lavish on it, believe me, I know.😍

Mambypamby Thu 17-Sep-20 21:45:08

Forgot to add that we also have a car each! Didn't know of his collector tendencies when we met or even after he moved in. It gradually came to light when I realised bought stuff but never got rid of anything. I doubt he'd be able to do this if he had his own place or even if he was living with the ex wife. I feel like he thinks it's none of my business as we are not married.

EllanVannin Thu 17-Sep-20 22:07:11

My D's ex was like that and in the end he got a Harley Davidson----like an armchair, and took up so much room, then not long after developed a heart problem so that put paid to that grin
He already had a Yamaha and a car on the front but he'd built a eyesore makeshift canopy at the side of the house.

All shifted/knocked down when he left, hee hee hee. Someone else's problem now.