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DNA results ....

(6 Posts)
Serendipity22 Sun 20-Sep-20 08:35:07

Hi everyone, I posted few weeks ago that I have sent off my DNA 'spit test'.

Well, its come back !!

I knew the background of my BM but had absolutely no idea of the area my BF came from !

I now know...... North East, Tyne & Wear, Sunderland, Houghton le spring, all those areas.

I have to say that here I am, at 56, still trailing on my journey, weary now and slightly drained, to find my BF, before it's too late ( he will be in 80s )

Has anyone else experienced any of this absolute needle in a haystack scenario?

I found my BM about 20 years ago THAT was and still is an experience to floor ANYONE ...... and alllllllll the time I carry the most strangulation guilt at doing this behind my perfect, loving, devoted mum and dads back ( they are both at rest now but the guilt still there )

The inquicativeness is so powerful, questions of who I am.

Has anyone else been in my position and if so, how did they deal with it ?

Thank you everyone ...


3nanny6 Sun 20-Sep-20 13:09:55

Serendipity22 :

So your DNA has come back and it seems you have not found out very much. Sorry to hear that.
It sounds like you had a bad experience with your BM also.
It is just a thought but if your BM is still alive is there no chance she can tell you anything at all about your BF. Perhaps she is a difficult type to deal with but to find any clues at all from her would be a help.

Sorry to hear that the perfect parents that raised you are now deceased. Just asking if you were adopted by them and if so then social services would have had a casework file on you, and there may be information in it on your BF.

I have not been in that position so cannot offer any other suggestions.
I was just interested when I read DNA results. The reason for that is because my daughter who lives a chaotic lifestyle has recently announced my GS aged 3 is not the son of the man she has declared was his father. She refuses to tell me anything else and says it does not matter as he does not need a father. The man who supposedly thinks he was the father is furious and wants answers and even says she is lying. I do not know why people make life so complicated.
Good luck with your search.

mokryna Sun 20-Sep-20 13:21:52

Only people who have not got blood relations know how you feel. Did the company you used cover other countries? I ask because a distant relative seems to have found someone, who they are not interested in, but would be a close relative to me in this USA.

Serendipity22 Sun 20-Sep-20 20:50:04

Wow....that's awful experience for you 3nanny6 !!!!

I can fully understand your D partners hurt and anger, without a doubt

A situation like the 1 you are going through is so soul destroying.... and all the while this lovely GS of yours is sooooo innocent in it all.

Yes,my mum and dad adopted me, the file that I have ( given to me by the social worker involved ) says about him , but states it is heresy so cannot be taken as gospel....

I dont know what to say about your situation.... I dont think there is anything to say that will throw a different look on it all.

Regarding my BM disclosing more information, I have asked, asked and better asked. I have been told ( after asking millions of times ) that she will tell me once, not to ask again because it is a subject she doesnt like to talk about !!!!

Regarding your own situation, I so hope that all works out ..... at the end of the day it's a childs life that is the main thing....

Take care

sodapop Sun 20-Sep-20 21:46:06

I met my birth mother a few times, she never gave me any information about my birth father. I'm not interested in finding out any more about my birth family. I am my own person and that's enough for me,

Alegrias Sun 20-Sep-20 22:22:20

Hello Serendipity22. I'm not in your situation, it must be so hard. Please forgive me if I'm telling stuff you already know. It's possible to share your DNA results certain websites, such as, and if there are matches with other people who have already shared their DNA then you can choose to get in touch with them. So you might find a distant relative who could help fill in the gaps for you.
Like I say, I'm sorry if I'm telling you what you already know.
Good luck with your search.