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A very nasty surprise - be ready if it happens to you

(104 Posts)
Applegran Wed 23-Sept-20 12:20:06

One evening I had a phone call. On my phone it said "Private caller" - not unusual, and I answered. It was a man's voice and he said some truly horrible and threatening things - it was such a surprise that I was both shocked and confused. I rang off. He rang again several times and I answered, foolishly thinking it might be family calling. In these calls he said among other things that he could see me in my kitchen. No he couldn't - I was in the hall, but if it had been a lucky guess on his part, it would have made it even more scary for me. Finally I didn't pick up the phone and the calls stopped. I have reported this to the police and my phone provider is on the case to try to trace the caller. This has never happened to me before - or since, and I guess it is very rare and the caller picks random numbers to ring, so I think it very unlikely that many - or any - Gransnetters reading this will have this happen to them. But it could happen to someone and I wanted to warn you in advance - the caller doesn't know who you are, or where you are and can cause you no harm. Later on line I got this advice - if you get a threatening phone call, put the phone down and walk away for several minutes and then ring off. The caller won't want that to happen again and is far less likely to call you again. I hope this never happens to you - and it probably won't! But in the unlikely event that you do get a call like this, I hope this helps.

Alioop Thu 24-Sept-20 10:24:22

When I was in my early 20s my parents& sis went on hols & I was on my own in the house. I started getting phone calls and he knew everything I was doing, even when I went to the local shop with cornflakes! As soon as I came in from work they started. I had to phone the police in the end as he said he would get in the house to me, would beat up my boyfriend, etc. They told me to blow a whistle down the phone, didn't stop him. My sister came home early from her hols with her friends and she gave him a real mouthful down the phone and that stopped him. Its was very frightening and I felt helpless cos in the those days there was no caller call back, nothing to trace him.

jaylucy Thu 24-Sept-20 10:15:18

Calls like this seem to be happening all over the country.
It's usually some one that just dials a random number and you were unlucky that it was you.
Buy a phone that has a call blocker in built (I think Argos still sell them). The person calling then has to announce who they are before the call is put through to you. You then decide to accept the call or not.
Also stops all the spam calls and fraud calls that are happening as the callers can't be bothered to wait for anyone to answer.

henetha Thu 24-Sept-20 10:13:45

What a frightening experience for you, Apple. Thank you for warning us. It's for reasons like this that I leave my answerphone switched on almost all the time now.

spabbygirl Thu 24-Sept-20 10:12:21

I had similar 7 or 8 years ago, 'I know everything about you,' the caller said before asking questions. My husband was next to me and took the phone and hung up. that's what I'll do if it happens again. What a shame BlueBelle, these should have more publicity so people know

Tanjamaltija Thu 24-Sept-20 10:11:06

I used to get calls on my mobile phone, and they'd ring off as soon as I picked up. I went to the Police and they told me I'd have to go to court to see who it was, and I didn't want to show the caller he'd fazed me. I went to the service provider and they said (although the person was invading my privacy) that Data Protection Laws forbade their giving out names attached to private numbers. After about wo years the calls stopped coming. I live in Malta, Europe.

Moggycuddler Thu 24-Sept-20 09:56:46

Could try just laughing and then end the call. They want you to he scared.

quizqueen Thu 24-Sept-20 03:24:40

If I had an abusive call, I wouldn't speak at all and would lay the phone down on its side leaving the line open. I would then call the police on a second phone and would leave the line connected for however long it took for the call to be traced, even if it took days. I hardly use my landline anyway. There's nothing more frustrating to someone who gets their fun by making abusive calls than not being able to use their own phone. I also leave call centre people hanging on the line for hours at their expense,

Elizabeth1 Thu 24-Sept-20 02:50:21

Thanks for the heads up Applegran

Luckygirl Wed 23-Sept-20 22:40:32

There are some real weirdos around!!

Kamiso Wed 23-Sept-20 20:29:03

I unintentionally confused the caller I had. He kept calling me “pet” but I thought he was saying “Pat”. The lady we bought the house from was Pat so I told him Pat has moved. He then asked who Pat was and the conversation got more and more confusing. Eventually he put the phone down!

It was different for my friend. For various reasons the information that her husband had walked out was in the news. She started getting obscene phone calls in the middle of the night. If she didn’t answer the caller kept ringing and it woke her little daughter. The police and BT got involved and eventually the caller was traced and was just a random stranger. The precursor to internet stalkers?

threexnanny Wed 23-Sept-20 20:16:28

Recently our SIL had a phone call which started off as the usual scam about the internet. As SIL disputed what he was saying the caller became more and more abusive and threatened his life and the grandchildren's. It was reported to the police and the call was traced as coming from Asia but as that was the case they couldn't do anything about it.

emmasnan Wed 23-Sept-20 19:45:40

Years ago when I was busy with two children and a job I answered a call from a man who asked what colour pants I was wearing. I thought for a second and said " I really have no idea, I put them on in a rush the morning and didn't notice and haven't had a chance to look since".
He just rang off!

harrigran Wed 23-Sept-20 19:08:11

DH worked away from home for 16 years which meant I was alone at night, I received several horrible calls saying they knew where I lived and what they were going to do to me.
The worst one was at 2am one morning, heavy breathing and "I'm watching you".
I suspect some cold callers that get the brush off during the day deliberately ring at night to get their own back.

Whitewavemark2 Wed 23-Sept-20 18:43:54

The way it works is that they have to announce who they are the phone then continues ringing as far as caller is concerned. You however receive the recorded message of the callers name and press 1 if you accept their call. If you don’t the caller is then given the option of leaving a recorded message.

We’ve had the phone about 5 years now and have never received a call we didn’t want.

Spangler Wed 23-Sept-20 18:16:33

But does call blocker work for "private number" as mentioned in the original post? My landline number is ex-directory, it will always show a call to the receiver as: "number withheld."

Whitewavemark2 Wed 23-Sept-20 18:10:58

I have a call blocker. Everyone has to announce who they are and I will only accept if I recognise the caller.

It does the trick brilliantly.

M0nica Wed 23-Sept-20 18:07:21

I had a call like this, smutty more than deeply unpleasant. I just put the receiver down but I had a feeling I recognised the voice.

Sometime later DH's manager rang to speak to him and I recognised his voice. He had made the call to me shortly after the company dinner dance, when I had danced with him. He struck me as a sleaze ball at the event. The phone call just confirmed it.

I told DH about it, but not until he had moved to another job.

Outofstepwithhumanity Wed 23-Sept-20 17:54:47

Let every call go to answerphone or voicemail & don’t pick up until you know who is calling. This stops any unwanted calls.

Applegran Wed 23-Sept-20 17:34:30

Thank you to everyone for your kindness and helpful messages. I did get over it quite soon but for an hour or so did feel frightened. I hope these generous messages may turn out to be helpful to someone else, if they ever get a nasty call. Its very good to have all this support - I am grateful.

Fuchsiarose Wed 23-Sept-20 17:02:11

Such sad people who do this to others. I stopped having a landline years ago, because even an answerphone did not stop this nonsense. I never answer unknown numbers, because genuine callers will leave a message ie, hospitals. Some people clearly do not understand the stress they cause to others. I hope you feel supported Apple, by others on here

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 23-Sept-20 16:56:52

I dial 1572 when I get an annoying phone call - not as bad as this though. It is usually stuff like my internet is about to be disconnected or someone had used my MasterCard overseas. Simply ring 1572 and the number is blocked.

Franbern Wed 23-Sept-20 16:45:08

It is a horrible thing to happen and can be quite frightening if living alone.
Back in the past, these sort of calls, or just plain dirty ones, was far more common, as no caller number came up.

There are a couple of ways of dealing with this sort of thing. Firstly, let all incoming calls go to answerphone, then you can decide if you want to talk to whoever is calling.

Otherwise have some of your own fun with them. I would never do anything cruel and dangerous, like blowing a whistle down the phone, but my favourite withe dirty callers was to say EXTREMELY LOUDLY ' SORRY, I HAVE LOST MY HEARING AIDS AND CANNOT HEAR YOU, PLEASE SPEAK VERY LOUDLY'.
Then however, loudly they spoke I would interrupt to say still could not hear and understand them, could they please shout louder. You will be pleasantly surprised as to how quickly they ring off and never bother to ring back!!!

Madgran77 Wed 23-Sept-20 16:42:43

That happened to me many years ago and yes it is scary! Thanks for highlighting Apple

AGAA4 Wed 23-Sept-20 16:38:59

Applegran that must have been very frightening. Many years ago I had calls when my husband was on nights. They came usually just after he had left for work. The caller just didn't say anything and rang off after a few minutes. I was worried it was a neighbour who was able to see or knew that my husband had left the house.
I stopped answering at that time of night and the calls stopped.

Grannybags Wed 23-Sept-20 16:08:58

I've had a few nasty calls and I've said "Hang on a minute I'll just get my son, he's a police officer" He is but doesn't live with me! They didn't hang around to find out.