Chatting to strangers - do you?

I remember with sadness a day when I volunteered in a charity shop. An elderly lady started to talk to me and the shop wasn't busy so I was happy to chat to her for quite a while.
Eventually she said 'thank you for talking to me, take this for your charity' and she gave me £5. I gave the money to the manageress and we rang it up in the till.

So you manage to silence them Spangler?
When I’m out with DH I couldn’t get a word in if I wanted to as he chats to strangers without coming up for air! But then he gets it when we are at home as I’m all knowing, all seeing and always right!

I thought the Cornish could chat your ears off until I lived in Liverpool for a season where strangers would happily join you at a cafe table and chat away! I live on my own so I love talking to strangers.

BlueSky

Thanks Spangler but as I was saying I’m not shy, just ‘quiet’ (my DH wouldn’t agree!)

My wife and I are pretty much in tune most of the time, spats are rare, that is until we are dancing. Learning a new routine, I get grief from my wife and grief from our (female) instructor. By the way, our instructor is a shy person, she took to dancing as a way of dealing with her shyness.

When we finally get a particular move right the two ladies say nothing but stand there looking smug. I shouldn't have said it, I knew as soon as the words were out of my mouth I would regret it:

"Have you two shut up, or have I gone deaf?"

I always talk to people as well, like MOnica I'm incurably nosy interested in other people's lives.

Terri I think your DH and mine are long lost twins!
I think the 2m distance is great anyway, can’t stand people getting into your personal space, I like the arrows on floors one way in one out, and the hand sanitizers.

My husband does it all the time, particularly in lifts, it's almost a compulsion to break the ice with total strangers. I'm a bit more reticent, but I would always respond to anyone else. When I commuted up to London for work there was often a stiff formality, until something like "leaves on the line" presented itself and the train came to a grinding halt for no apparent reason, there never seemed to be any announcement and that left a question mark hanging in the air as to why we were just a few yards from say Clapham Junction with no sign of reaching our destination. A few conversations borne out of frustration. Now of course everyone is talking, but into their phones!

I strike up conversations everywhere! I spent the first 15 years in the Midlands and when we moved down south people seemed more reserved but still chat away.
I've had some lovely conversations with people over the years. I dont drive so I think using the bus probably opens up more opportunities. I've also witnessed some lovely acts of kindness on buses, people helping each other out. Little things ,but they restore faith in human nature.
Having a coffee with friends is lovely but so is taking time out to sit and watch the world go by by myself. Again,had some lovely conversations!
Sadly of course this is all pre covid but those times will return?

I have always chatted to anyone, got that from my mum who zeroed in on the most unusual people. I remember once at a bus stop she initiated a conversation with a chap sporting a rainbow coloured mohican hairstyle. As a self conscious teenager I was mortified as she discovered what he used to dye it and stiffen it, how often he needed to style it etc.
I am not as intrusive but like to initiate conversation, especially with people who seem lonely.
Nowadays I try to limit my sociable urges as I don't want to imperil the health of others. Having a conversation is a Coronavirus spreading risk.

Thanks Spangler but as I was saying I’m not shy, just ‘quiet’ (my DH wouldn’t agree!)

sart Mon 05-Oct-20 20:13:31
^BlueSky you are not the only unsociable one here. I am extremely shy and have trouble striking up conversations with strangers.

how can I overcome this crippling shyness and the feeling that people are going to judge me^

sart & BlueSky you might not have thought about shyness before, but did you know that shyness is actually a defence mechanism?

If I don't get to know you, then you won't know me. And if you don't know me, what possible reason could you have for wanting to harm me?

Shyness is born of a lack of security in oneself, of the sensation of not being worthy of the attention or consideration of others, or of not feeling like one has the right to be recognised.

But you are in esteemed company, both Charles Darwin & Agatha Christie suffered extreme shyness. If you are interested have a look at this link.

exploringyourmind.com/two-faces-shyness/

Yes, in fact I'm missing that at the moment.
I've spoken to a lot of people, in queues, on coaches etc. They may look quite ordinary but sometimes have very interesting lives.
The number of coincidences is quite amazing too - meeting someone who may live on the other side of the world but has relatives in our small community. We would never have known otherwise.

If you smile at someone you can usually tell if they want to chat or not.

True confession time - in my town when I see people peering at a map or pointing this way and that....I can’t stop myself from asking if they are lost. Probably an awful combination of nosiness and bossiness.

Why haven’t any of you garrulous grans struck up a conversation with me? Actually, the socially distanced queue, while apparently a barrier to conversation, at least gives us all a common topic to share.

I’ll always chat to someone and wave and play peep po with toddlers I find most mums don’t mind

Let's go, Grans who strike up conversations! If we can make a small difference at this time it is worth it.

Sart sorry I know you didn’t mean me, I’ve always been labelled ‘quiet’ which I guess it’s true to a certain extent. I do chat on here if I have something to contribute, I don’t really like small talk, like “Cold for the time of year” or “ Too hot for us we are not used to it”.

Glad to read you’re conversation was welcome.

My husband was shielding too so I’m still not shopping, but if I had to go to the bank, post office, etc., I’m afraid I wouldn’t welcome conversation at the moment, I just want to get in and out with as little interaction with others as quickly as possible.

In the past/future, yes, had some really interesting conversations with people at bus stops, on trains.

I was in a 3-hour queue at Vienna airport a couple of years ago next to Tony Hawks. He wrote a book about taking a fridge around Ireland. He and I and a Scientific journalist from London got on like a house on fire.

My DH says I would talk to a swing gate and my mother says I've "never met a stranger". Suffice to say I will talk to anyone and frequently do.

BlueSky sorry wasn't implying you were shy. Just saying that I am and it can make it problamatic striking up a conversation with a stranger!

Yes - I’ll talk to anyone and anybody. Several times it was residents of a local psychiatric hospital and their visitors allowed on the High Street but once a 60 year old transvestite - complete with leopardskin dress and white stilletoes! He asked if he could join me (the rest of the cafe was empty) and I think he enjoyed and I appreciated him showing me pictures of his family and especially his grandchildren. As others said - my girls were always embarrassed, but that’s my job!!

When we lived down south it wasn’t common to chat to people. The further north you go people chat in queues and say hello as they pass.

When someone starts chatting to me in a queue, I try to bear in mind that it might be the only conversation they have had that day.
It has to be said, I don't need much encouragement to chat!
I know an elderly lady, living alone, who walks up the main street daily in the hope that she will meet someone she knows.

Sart I’m not shy and I don’t care about people’s opinion of me. Just don’t like making small talk with strangers.