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Husband won't accept 'charity'

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tanith Fri 09-Oct-20 12:47:50

Praying/preying?? Not sure which ?

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Smileless2012 Fri 09-Oct-20 12:47:26

In the likely event I think, that you wont be able to change his mind, if it were me I'd apply for attendance allowance so you can afford to get someone to help you with the garden.

It wont be him "sponging off the government" or "accepting charity", not that you'd be doing either of those things, it would be you.

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tanith Fri 09-Oct-20 12:46:37

Seriously don’t let him dictate to you just tell him kindly that you are going to apply and that the weight of an untidy garden is praying on your mind. I do understand some men can be difficult but this is to benefit both of you.

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ExD Fri 09-Oct-20 12:39:12

I qualify for attendance allowance having broken my back last year. My husband is waiting for a hip replacement.
My vertebrae has healed but still gives me pain for which I take morphine (waiting for Pain Clinic appointment) but I'm unable to do much physical work.
I need help with a large garden but OH won't hear of my applying for AA and using it to employ a gardener, because there are "too many people sponging off the government" or "we don't accept charity", but he can't/won't help me even with the heavy work because I've always managed.
I could use some sensible suggestions I can put forward to make him see sense and change his mind. (no silly ideas such as 'leave him', 'stop cooking meals' please, I don't want to precipitate conflict).
How do you think I should go about it?
We're in our 80s.

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