Best/worst Birthday/ Christmas present ever received (lighthearted)

I have had some lovely gifts over the years. My birthday is just before Christmas and when l was thirteen l was given my first violin - l had started lessons at school and borrowed one until then - as a combination for both events as was normally done with bigger presents but I still had a stocking and small main present at Christmas. When l was six l was given Deborah, my Tiny Tears doll with a wardrobe of hand-knitted clothes made by Mum and at ten a treble recorder. The musical theme goes with my name. I had a cassette recorder when l was eleven and that provided years of fun and entertainment. As an adult I have found it best over the years to tell my husband explicitly what I'd like or buy something first for him to repay me and wrap it up as l have had a few unfortunate "surprises" over the years. The best real surprise he gave me though was an eternity ring he gave me the Christmas l was expecting our first child.
The worst present l ever received was from an older American friend. It was a grey, dreadfully old-fashioned dress. Now l never wear grey as it gives me the six feet under look but that was not the worst thing of all. As l unwrapped she told me that it had been hers but was too big for her so she thought it might fit me. I wear size 14 dresses and tops. This, at a conservative estimate, was size 26. Still, a local charity shop told me that they could sell it (beyond my imagination who would have wanted THAT) so a happy ending.

When I was 13 I had to go into hospital. My Gran sent me a box of Newberry Fruits, which I really dislike. My Mum told me to tell her I liked them and thank her.
I did as I was told but from then on, every birthday and every Christmas, she gave me a box of Newberry Fruits! I never had the courage to tell her the truth.
In my teens I longed to have my ears pierced but my parents wouldn't allow it. When I turned 18 my boyfriend (now my DH) paid for me to have my ears pierced and bought me real gold, flower-shaped studs to have put in. Best present ever.

I have had some real shockers.One Christmas my husband gave me an underwater electric potato peeler,this caused hysterics between my foster children.Another was a piece of wood painted an unspeakable brown,with nails knocked in and string going from mail to nail,this was given by my very wealthy sister in law

Mr P is a practical sort of chap.

One Christmas I opened a large beautifully at wrapped parcel to find a new toilet seat! I had been complaining about the one in the downstairs loo, which would try to throw you off sideways like a bucking bronco, or the lid would slam down on to your back.

Another time I excitedly opened a parcel that I was convinced was a tablet, but turned out to be a digital air compressor for inflating car tyres.

However he redeemed himself one birthday (August) when I was at the height of menopausal got flushes with a pair of chrome retro style desk fans, one for the kitchen, one for the bedroom.

My first husband gave me a set of drain rods for my birthday, and offered to teach me how to use them.
The marriage didn’t last.

For many years my family did 'bad taste' Christmas presents after my sis commented that it's easier to buy something for someone that you know they would hate. It was great fun. The rule was that the 'gift' had to be on public display for 6 months. and thereafter could only be gifted to another family member or to a charity shop. Presents had to be inexpensive and charity shop gifts were encouraged.
One year my dad was the lucky recipient of a 5ft tall fluorescent pink plastic flamingo which lit up at night. We took great delight in helping him place it by his pond in his picturesque Cotswold cottage garden . My fave was a star-shaped snow globe marked Hollywood, containing glitter and plastic movie cameras.
We have decided to revive this tradition this year to cheer us all up.

Best present ever was from my late father- an electric sewing machine when I was 12, very expensive at the time and every family member thought he was mad. I never looked back and have it to this day.
Worst presents ever have all been from my husband when he can be bothered, garden tools, kitchen stuff that needed replacing anyway etc - you get the picture

My son is also one who suffers from 'sad face on receiving gifts' but I think it is because he doesn't really communicate what he would really like. Now I just ask for a list of possibles and get him a 'surprise off the list. I drop hints weeks before my birthday or Christmas, but now I just say 'here are some ideas, if you need any.' Now I get great presents!

The best have been books, I can’t pick just one out.

The worst was a fake shiny plastic handbag meant to look like pony skin. It was huge and hideous and utterly useless to someone with left side hemiplegia. Even if it wasn’t the ugliest thing I ever saw I would not have been able to carry it. I had to open it in front of the giver, then pretend to love it while my husband tried not to laugh.

My MIL always bought ‘odd’ gifts, but one Christmas she gave DD1 a box with a squirrel radar thing on the lid, I think you plugged it in and it emitted a noise to keep squirrels away.
Anyway DD lived in a flat in a city at the time, so it seemed just another odd gift and when they went home it stayed in a drawer upstairs, many years later I thought it would be a good idea to get it out and send it to a Charity Shop, when we opened the box it was full of M &S toiletries plus a flannel and sponge.......
MIL had just used an old box.

What has struck with this thread is just how “careful with money” many husbands can be.
Mine certainly was and there was absolutely no need to be.
I just used to buy things for myself and he never commented.

Mil likes "joke" presents. There have been a few - the sort of tat that shops sell just for xmas (bhs used to do them, hawkins bazaar etc). But what is daft is that she will buy the same thing for all of us.
There was the pencil holder - the size of a log but lifting the lid revealed it was just hollowed out to take one pencil. It wasnt even that funny when the first one of us opened it, but then the rest of us all had one each and just thought"why?".

The best was the large wooden case full of water colour paints my father gave me when I was twelve.
The worst was a roll of chicken wire he gave me for my birthday when I moved into a new house.

My best ever was a surprise long weekend away in Prague. My b/day is at the beginning of Jan when it's wet and dismal. I was moaning to my sis that we never have any real snow. My sis and I and 2 friends went out for a meal on my b/day where they presented me with a scroll outlining holiday details. We went at the end of Jan, and there wasn't much snow when we arrived. On the Sunday morning we awoke to a white world. It had snowed quietly all night. Walking across Charles Bridge in that silent post snow world with only the'crump, crump of the snow beneath our feet is one of the happiest memories of my life.

My worst present was from my mother in law (now passed). It was Christmas and our first child was due in February. She wrapped up second hand baby clothes from a charity shop and gave them to me. She also smoked sending the fumes my way when pregnant. Vile woman.

Witzend

A woman I used to see at work told me that her absolute best present ever came shortly before Christmas, when guests were coming to stay.

The house needed a really good blitz and her heart was sinking at the thought of it, when she was working full time.

Her husband paid for a team to come in and do a major blitz - everything, including windows, carpets, oven, washing paintwork, inside kitchen cupboards, the lot.

Oh wow! That would be a top present for me too!

Best present - a hand-made wooden army jeep when I was about 8. My Dad always left the present shopping to Mum, but that Christmas he actually bought me a present himself. Worst present - nose hair trimmers from ex-DH so that he could use them (I didn't suffer from a hairy nose at the time, but I did rush to the mirror to check before getting the hump!)

My best ever present was a brown Burmese kitten, which my mother gave me when I was 13, three months after the last of the two cats that I grew up with died.

The worst, also from my mother, was a string of fairy lights, she gave me when I was 55 along with an Advent calender for DH. These showed my that my much-loved mother's sense of reality was slipping.

She died fourteen months later.

One of the worst was a pair of cheap white plastic salt and pepper shakers (the type you see in "pound shops") along with a little bag of whole pepper corns. (Didn't even have a grinder.) My husband was once given a book of fancy chocolate cake recipes for his birthday from a relative, who knew he was diabetic and and has zero interest in cooking. The same person bought me a pack of men's briefs from M&S.

My husband is notoriously bad for choosing my presents. One year I asked for paving slabs to do the front garden so I didn't have to nag him to do the grass and we wouldn't be the scruffiest garden in the street. He bought me expensive, sexy lingerie to which I was allergic. He is the only person who can have a prescriptive list with links and still get it wrong even with the shop assistant pointing it out.
The one year he bought me my gardening tools without me having to even ask made my year. It may not have ben sexy but it was perfect.
My sister always buys me the strangest of gifts although I know she puts lots of thought into it. The year she bought me a tent, I must have looked puzzled because she explained it was actually a dress which you hooked up in various ways to make it into different shapes. I have to say that on the few occasions I wore it, no matter how hard I tried to make it look good, it always looked like a tent and people would ask me what on earth I was wearing!

This has been a lovely thread, but when I read your post, kwest it touched me deeply. What is wrong with people ? They disgust me when they think it is ok to be cruel to the helpless, and let children learn all the wrong things. How good you were to take on another dog and make him happy.

My EX husband had a huge box sitting under the Christmas tree years ago and I was so excited to see what was in it. Opened up on the big day and inside it was a set of wheel trims for my car.

I didn’t think to post this before because it wasn’t a thing, an object. For my 60th birthday my sons took me to Paris! That was probably my best present.

Best ever present was a black cocker spaniel that my husband met when the dog was being walked by the local dog-walker. My husband commented on what a beautiful dog he was and the dog-walker said she was trying to find him a new home. He had been cruelly treated by children hitting him with sticks and left tied to a lamp-post. the owner had planned to leave him tied up near the RSPCA. My husband said we will have him, we already had two dogs. The dog-walker asked what I would say. He quite rightly said, "Oh she will love him", The dog-walker got him signed over to us from the original owner. He never knew a day's unhappiness for the rest of his life. All 3 dogs eventually died of old age within eighteen months of each other. We changed his name to Patrick as he had a shorter name before and we didn't want him to associate being called to us with anything unpleasant. He was very special, as were all our dogs.

The worst from my late husband. A wrapped box of polish, spray cleaner and a plastic box for CDs. I recall having a desk when I was tiny -from my parents. I used it so much.