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The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Sun 01-Nov-20 16:52:25

Well, fellow Argy Bargers, after some hard bargaining with
Moneybags Mike our landlord, I have managed to secure another short term lease.The scoundrel wanted ten pounds a month, but I showed him my maroon bloomers and he reduced it to seven pounds.Result!?

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 21:29:24

Is the night watchman the fellow with all those Rolex lining his jacket

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 21:25:46

If you want kisses on the bottom ixion you’ll have to drop your bloomers again

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 21:21:21

M.Croix explains that's where they keep their purses - and swiss army knives?
Not a pessimist, but this could turn out horribly wrong.

Anyhow, I have secured £3/17/6, three sweetie wrappers, some holey cheese and a billet doux. No kisses on the bottom, 'tho?

When's the draw?

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 21:16:33

Nothing in the Argy is free Doodle, unless Lemon isn’t looking

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 21:16:21

I think Maw should be our resident comedian, going on stage between the songs. We could pay her is chocolate and poteen, she’s easily pleased. Perhaps Maw could also act as night watchman with Hattie...............no forget that, Hattie sleeps a lot. ?

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 21:15:06

Anyone au fait with Swiss custom and practice?
Every time I ask the Swiss lads for money, their hands go down their pantelons.....
A tad concerting tbh

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 21:14:46

Set you up nicely there Maw, you’re welcome

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 21:14:15

ixion just sell the raffle tickets if you can and we’ll pop you in a pair of giant bloomers to keep you warm. I think they must be an old pair of Lemon’s.
Excuse me Laura but the chocolate covered Swiss roll on the bar is me and Hans. We were just overcome with passion and the bar was free blush

MawBe Fri 22-Jan-21 21:11:56

A big chocolate Swiss roll ?

“How do you make a Swiss Roll?
Push him down a hill! “

Boom, boom!

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 21:09:23

Ooh Doodle
Fastest finger first, there.
I'll put me clothes back on and do the rounds

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 21:07:46

Do I have to get dressed again between each strip?

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 21:07:12

Don’t worry Urms you won’t go hungry there’s a big chocolate Swiss roll on the bar now. Sorry about the grit but I had to roll it somewhere, the litter tray was handy

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 21:05:27

No, no no ixion. When Lemon said 2/6d a strip she meant a strip of raffle tickets. She didn’t mean you stripped every time anyone gave you 2/6d. ?

Urms I think it might have been the llamas. They look a bit queasy ?

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 20:57:09

Who polished off all the Emmental, Gruyere and Appenzeller? There was plenty at the end of the bar last time I looked - now there’s just some bread sticks left on the plate.

lemongrove Fri 22-Jan-21 20:54:26

I missed the clog dance ( on purpose!) but the whole room looks stunned, so am guessing they loved it.....or something.
Urmstongran you look divine dear, and so young! Sixteen going on seventy!

GrannyGravy13 Fri 22-Jan-21 20:54:06

Meee it’s all about me.....fah as far as I will go..............

lemongrove Fri 22-Jan-21 20:52:05

Karaoke time for me, has anyone done ‘the hills are allllllliiiivve with the sound of muuussssic!’
Buy your raffle tickets soon, another three great prizes to be won, ixion take them around every table and don’t take no for an answer, 2/6d a strip tell the punters.?

lemongrove Fri 22-Jan-21 20:48:35

Look at you lot.... I thought I’d wandered into a West End Show ( won’t say which one.) There’s more cleavage on show than in the court of Charles II ( that’s not eleven btw)?
Why is the Admiral panting? Why is Mawbe lying over a bar stool?
Lisagran you will definitely get a Toblerone round the back
If you saunter about in that get up.
Doodle why are you covered in chocolate ( did you eat all the choccy cheesy things that Laura made today you greedy hussy?

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 20:48:01

Oh good heavens no not two admirals

MawBe Fri 22-Jan-21 20:32:45

Doodle

Might stand more chance if you offer the truffles to Maw ?

?You know me so well.....?

Urmstongran Fri 22-Jan-21 20:32:24

I didn’t know Maw was a chocoholic Doodle? I’m sure someone described her as alcoholic. Perhaps I’ve got her mixed up with someone else - my head’s spinning a bit. It’s either the clog dance earlier or this third cocktail.
?
I can see two Admirals. Is it my eyesight?

LauraNorder Fri 22-Jan-21 20:31:36

Franz has just offered me a Sweaty Armpit, brandy, gluhwein and a swirl of Swiss cheese. Bit of a kick in it. ?doh a deer, a female deer, Ray a lad from Hunstanton ?

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 20:24:43

?

Doodle Fri 22-Jan-21 20:24:15

Might stand more chance if you offer the truffles to Maw ?

ixion Fri 22-Jan-21 20:23:05

Someone offer George a truffle or two, then Maw can get away and give the rest of us a look-in

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