Get your own back with scammers

My Mum gets calls about her computer, car accident and Amazon. She is 85, never driven and does not do technology in any form. We have told her to put the phone down but sometimes she shouts at them. I have on occasion played along. Can be quite funny.

I love the homicide detective one MrsThreadgoode I’ll have fun with that next time.

I haven’t had the Microsoft windows one for a long time but used to feign confusion and say that I had had double glazing installed and all my windows worked perfectly

Last one I had re accident I asked how they knew and was put through to man with an Indian accent. I told him I was driving at a reasonable speed when I saw a zebra crossing, I slammed on my brakes and skidded sideways in to a tree, he asked me if anyone else was involved and I said only the elephant that had charged when he too saw the zebra crossing. He hung up then.

There’s a track on YouTube where a householder picks up the phone and tells the scammer that he is a homicide detective and want to know why they are phoning the home of the deceased, when did he last see him? Had he in fact killed him? he bombards the scammer with questions, telling him that they have traced his call and the cops are on their way! The scammer ends up a gibbering wreck, it’s very funny.

Brilliant, Hazbeen! ??

We have had a spate of calls purporting to be from HM Revenue and Customs. Always the same story - you have underpaid/mispaid/commited fraud and a demand to pay now or go to jail. They hang up when I inform them that my husband and daughter both worked for HMRC and what department are they calling from again? Never fails (and it is actually the truth).

Funny you should say that Honeyrose I have a stuff parrot (think key ring size) that when you press its stomach comes out with rather naughty language included "Polly wants a F***ing cracker NOW" ! Think I might keep it by the phone especially for the scammers!

We have a BT phone which screens all calls . I quite miss the odd confrontation with these scammers. Good idea to say you will consult your husband when he gets out of prison or pretent to be the hired help .

My brother had a call, from a very polite Indian gentleman, at his work about the internet being used by someone else and security had been breached. DB let him finish his spiel and then said that the information was wrong because he was in charge of IT security. The man rang off and then immediately phoned back and told DB, "You are not IT security you are just the janitor!" Obviously that was deemed to be a horrendous insult.
It still makes me laugh now.

We generally have a bit of a competition to see how long they will hang on until they realise you are playing them. A favourite was a "your computer has been used to buy...." I started call, passed it to my son, claiming I didn't understand, he continued in a Russian accent demanding to know what had happened and then shouting at the top of his voice that his wife had spent all hs money on shoes and he was going to teach her. A few bangs and screams and then we hung up!

I get them to repeat themselves (it's a bad line - and my hearing aid is playing up).

Yesterday it was a woman from Sky (apparently, Indian accent) about a customer refund of £230.

'Who's calling? Can you repeat that? Say again? etc.

Very nice, but why were they refunding me? She didn't answer that but got me to confirm my name, address and phone number (which they had) - all OK.

Then, she wanted my date of birth. I laughed and said she didn't need that.

(more 'I can't quite hear you - can you speak up?')

Next, she said 'Your bank? Santander? Lloyds? Halifax?' I laughed again and said 'If you're from Sky, you have my details - so just refund to the account it's paid from!'

She hung up. (Such fun.)

Nonnie reminds me of the day when trying to get rid of a caller I told them I was on the PMT list!!

I had a call one day last week from these scammers. I confirmed that I had indeed had an accident and so was duly put through to "a colleague who will help you with your claim".

Scammer: When did the accident take place?
Me: erm.... let me think..... I think it was about a year ago? Can't be sure, my memory has been a little hazy since I died.
Scammer: Did you suffer any injuries in the accident?
Me: Oh yes, I must have done! I died.
Scammer: Was anyone else involved in the accident?
Me: Hard to tell really, I don't have much memory since I died.
Scammer: What injuries did you suffer as a result of the accident?
Me: Quite a few I would imagine; certainly enough to make me die.
Scammer: Were you definitely involved in an accident that wasn't your fault?
Me: I must have been! I told you! I died!
Scammer: F**k off!

If I actually speak to a person (most seem to be recordings) I politely explain that I only deal with ethical companies, that usually floors them but, if they continue, I explain that I am signed up to the TPS so they wouldn't call me if they were ethical.

Interesting that since we left TalkTalk we no longer get the Microsoft ones, must have come off the list.

I find most of these type of calls are obvious when I answer the phone. There is a tell tale 2 second pause before anyone speaks. I just hang up at that point.

I know some folk are alarmed by that silence waiting for someone to speak. But it’s just because a large amount of random phone numbers are dialled at the same time and the caller has to quickly see who’s answered and connect to them. I prefer just to hang up and don’t give them a chance to speak.

I'd love to play along with these callers but they mostly ring me when I'm watching something interesting on the telly (like Pointless or The Chase) so I don't usually pursue this.

Most of my calls are about supposed domestic appliance or washing machine insurance for which I haven't devised a smart reply.

There are very funny items on You Tube if you can find them - a 'chap' called Lenny replies in a confused manner but it's really a computer 'chatbot' - he has fun with these callers.

Many years ago my elderly Dad was plagued with the “we can buy your house from you for instant cash” calls. They were common at the time, trying to talk folk into selling their home at way below market value. They preyed on those who were struggling financially.

They thought they’d hit the jackpot with my Dad. He said he would love to sell his home to them and they asked him several questions, which he deliberately interrupted to mention his corns, his constipation etc. The caller finally managed to bring the call to a conclusion and said the next stage was to set up a home visit to value his house.

My Dad said before we do that I need to make a phone call. This cash sale is just what I need but I must check the council have no objections if I stop paying rent and sell the house to you.

These type of calls annoy me as I think they could really upset some people. I have Callminder on my landline, so not troubled by such calls there, but have had calls on my mobile. None since the pandemic though, strangely enough. I always block them if I get one. I was just having a chuckle to myself - it would be great to have a recording (or the actual thing!) of a foul-mouthed parrot saying “f... off” very loudly at the appropriate moment!

When the call is about Windows I go along with it until they ask me to go to the computer and then say I don't have a computer, they say but you have a laptop and I say no I don't have one, why are you calling me and where did you get this number? at that point they sound completely annoyed and hang up.
Or I ask them to please hold on whilst I go to the computer and just put the phone down and leave it until I hear the tone.
My aim is to keep them on the line as long as I can.

When I get these calls I generally just laugh and hang up - one day I received the same call 3 times, the last time I quietly told them that if they ever called me again I would find them and burn everything they loved to the ground - not had that particular call since!

Sometimes I play along, depending how much time I have or the mood I'm in, but on other occasions I put the phone next to the radio which I turn on full blast!

A friend of mine used to say, ‘Could you just hang on a minute?’ - and then go and plug in the vacuum cleaner and have it blasting into the phone.
Though that was mostly sales calls - before scamming turned into a global industry.

My other half is very good with the "fatal accident" gambit when he is in the mood. He builds his story, different every time as he attempts to better his previous performance. I do feel sorry for the caller as by the time they record the details of the accident where he was alone in the car when........ (long and detailed story ensues) .............. to the part where he starts referring to the "fatal accident". Usually they ask who in the other vehicle died which is when he says "I think they survived, I haven't seen them since" then as the caller asks again who died he ends with "me of course".
Most put the phone down but one in particular started swearing at him and an argument ensued.

Petra I realise the difference, but they are all chancers !

Also, I think the manner in which the legal companies tout for business by lying (by saying "I believe you have been in an accident...") is a form of fraud, and should be illegal.