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Distracted needed please - very, very stressed

(139 Posts)
FannyCornforth Wed 11-Nov-20 10:14:59

Hello everyone
I was uncertain as to whether start a thread about this. I know that you will be lovely so here goes.
My husband was taken to hospital with Covid related stuff yesterday.
( We have been shielding, so it's a bit of a shock, but I hope you don't mind if I don't talk about that, as it's too distressing.)

What I'd love please are some ideas of how to gently distract myself.
I love audio books, so would love some recommendations.
To me, the voice is more important than the story.
I love reading on my Kindle too.
I'm a bit spaced out (I've started taking a higher dose of Amitriptyline for my nerve pain) so can't concentrate on much.
I'm spending most of my time in bed.
I suppose I just want to chat please.
I'm about to get up, put a wash on and feed the pets.
Looking forward to reading your suggestions when I come back upstairs.
Thank you so much in advance xx

Nanananana1 Thu 12-Nov-20 11:59:05

I too have chronic neuropathic pain and find distraction is better than taking more tablets, so well done for understanding that this is the way to cope with it
Have you tried TED talks? www.ted.com. All kinds of short talks given by all kinds of people with all kinds of life experiences. Some are clever, challenging, full of information and new learning and some are just plain silly and funny. I never feel as though I have wasted time when I listen to TED!
Also The Moth Hour is great for heartfelt personal stories - to be found on Radio 4 Extra (I think). Unscripted life event tales told by ordinary people in their own words
The BBC have some good programmes in their Sounds archive. The one that comes to mind is The Listening Project, again ordinary people telling their own stories
As a means of deep relaxation I have an old tape of Wind in the Willows read by Alan Bennet! You're right it is all about the voice!

marionk Thu 12-Nov-20 11:50:11

I really need this too - my husband has been in and out of hospitals since June and has kept Covid free until this last admission - he was discharged Tuesday afternoon from an isolation situation, but yesterday morning we got a call to say he has tested positive for Covid. We are devastated and panicked because he has many underlying health issues so any distractions are very very welcome!

BusterTank Thu 12-Nov-20 11:49:28

Sorry your husband is unwell . Do you knit , you could knit hats , booty's , cardigans and blankets for the special baby care unit at your local hospital . I find I can loose myself for a good few hours doing a jig saw . Or even find a good series to watch on the television . I hope your husband gets well soon .

Pinkrinse Thu 12-Nov-20 11:48:10

Sorry to hear your news and hope he’s ok. I always find picking up the phone and talking really helps. Do you have anyone you can ring?

11unicorn Thu 12-Nov-20 11:44:00

First of all, sorry to hear that you have to deal with such a terrible worry. I hope everything works out fine.

I usually don't like audio books but the two I can recommend and highly recommend are
As You Wish
Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride
A Gentleman in Moscow
The first being very funny with well known voices and the second being such an interesting book read by a very smooth voice

Big virtual (((((hug)))))

Applegran Thu 12-Nov-20 11:40:42

I really feel for you and there are some excellent ideas in this thread, so I will just add that it really helps if you create a structure for your day, so you know when you get up, feed the pets, go for a walk, or whatever. Just some reliable landmarks in the day which you don't have to re-invent every time - they are just there for you. I do hope things go well for you and your husband.

Aycee Thu 12-Nov-20 11:10:30

I use Audible for listening to books and I do like it. The readers are excellent. However I love BBC sounds, particularly their podcasts. You could be listening for years and never get bored. I also watch bbc etc on my phone. There all sorts of distracting programmes. Good luck and happy listening.

Moggycuddler Thu 12-Nov-20 11:03:10

So sorry about your worries, and sending very best wishes to you, and your husband for a fast recovery. I love audiobooks and I'd be happy to try to recommend some if you could offer a few suggestions as to genre and the type of stories you generally like? Otherwise, how about binge watching some good series on telly, or treat yourself to a couple of dvd box sets off Amazon?

Shandy57 Thu 12-Nov-20 10:51:41

Best wishes to your husband for a full recovery. Do remember to be kind to yourself during this stressful time and try and eat little and often.

A book I greatly enjoyed listening to was 'Gudrun' - I originally listened to part of it on Radio 4 when it was serialised.

Camelotclub Thu 12-Nov-20 10:47:41

If you do any crafts, treat yourself to top of the range yarn or cross stitch kit, whatever appeals. Craft shops are desperate for support and nearly all do online ordering.

Mercedes65 Thu 12-Nov-20 10:42:59

Try an app/website Bookbub.
It has books to purchase also some free ones

cornergran Wed 11-Nov-20 17:59:17

That’s tough Fanny, I’m so sorry. Being outside, talking to anyone cheerful (no miseries), listening to a short story (can’t hold concentration for a book), working through a mindfulness/relaxation/meditation exercise (easily found on the web) all work for me. I’m sure all have been mentioned before so apologies for my lack of new ideas. Please be physically comfortable, look after yourself. Things like resting if you need to and eating, no matter how little you feel like it. A warm hug from me and a heartfelt wish that you can sleep tonight. Come back and talk to us if it helps, always someone here. We’ll all be thinking of you both. .

NotTooOld Wed 11-Nov-20 16:55:35

Google explorelivecams/africam. It will take you to a watering hole in South Africa where you can watch the animals coming and going in real time 24 hours a day. It's very calming. If you don't like animals there are plenty of other livecams to watch, including orcas and birds. It was recommended by a woman on Radio 4 last week. Do hope your dh is soon safely home. They have lots of different treatments for covid now so I am sure he will be fine.

Grandmafrench Wed 11-Nov-20 16:50:05

So sorry to hear your news, Fanny - you're such a cheerful and positive poster that this must have come as a hell of a shock to you. However, distraction is definitely what you need so that you don't worry yourself into a heap before getting definite news and/or a proper diagnosis. Whilst the hospital is "flummoxed", do try hard not to fear the worst.

Lots of good advice here and warm wishes for you. Do hope that has lifted your mood a little and you're getting some proper rest. For me, being outside is my salvation if I'm very stressed or worried. Just being....on a seat, in the garden, fresh air, all of nature's distractions. I also like to go back in years to something comforting and non-taxing - an old t.v. series, a play, a concert, something I have maybe seen a long time ago and enjoyed, or something new which I can watch and be absorbed in. I'm another Alan Bennett fan and I love foreign travel with maybe Rick Stein, Michael Palin.....or Billy Connolly's old series. Calming 'wallpaper' stuff with lovely views and no stress. Wishing your DH an early recovery and please keep posting, so we don't worry about you ! ??

dragonfly46 Wed 11-Nov-20 16:48:18

So sorry to hear this Fanny.
I tend to walk when I am anxious but if you can’t maybe as others have said ringing a friend would help.
I do hope you get good news about Mr Cornforth soon. That would be the best tonic.

Feelingmyage55 Wed 11-Nov-20 16:26:33

? for you.

I can’t recommend audio books, sorry but podcasts, browsing youtube, on line scrabble (words with friends practice boards, play a turn within two minutes of your move), mending, crochet, knitting a hat, sit down and tidy “that drawer”. Phone family or supportive friends.
There are sitting keep fit exercises on YouTube.
I’ll be thinking about you both.

V3ra Wed 11-Nov-20 16:25:08

Tough being on your own when you're not well yourself Fanny ☹️
Although you can't go out for exercise, could you sit in the garden (weather permitting!) for some fresh air? My spirits always feel lifted once I make that effort to get out in the open air.
My favourite time-wasting occupation is to research and plan a holiday.
Fingers crossed your husband will soon be home and your own condition can be stabilised.

Puzzler61 Wed 11-Nov-20 16:22:09

Sorry to hear your bad news, you must be really worried Fanny. I hope your DH comes home soon and recovers well.
It’s difficult to distract yourself when stressed, but reading is good, a kindle or audio book.
Is there someone whose autobiography you’ve always wanted to read?
Or the classic Pride & Prejudice, or a Catherine Cookson book?
Stroke your pets, and eat chocolates if you want to. Take good care of yourself ?

Ellianne Wed 11-Nov-20 16:21:23

Take care Fanny. flowers

DerDer Wed 11-Nov-20 16:11:07

Fanny - try Silas Marner - it's read beautifully by Sean Baker on BBC Sounds. This is my absolute favourite audio book and I hope the magic works on you too x

petra Wed 11-Nov-20 15:07:15

Fanny
I'm sorry that you can't do any exercise as movement such as walking producers dopamine and seratonin which are 'feel good' hormones. That's why we feel better after a good walk.

J52 Wed 11-Nov-20 14:53:59

Popped back on hearing that you are not very mobile. A bit of an odd distraction, perhaps, but how about having a look at the Pinterest site.
Key in something your interested in, such as landscapes, knitting, dogs, cats etc. Lots of little pics on the topic, click on one and it takes you to sites on that topic. The time can drift away while you are looking. Useful too.

maddyone Wed 11-Nov-20 14:39:57

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband Fanny, hopefully he’ll be home soon.

Georgesgran Wed 11-Nov-20 14:24:07

Not Covid, but earlier in the year, DH was hospitalized twice due to Sepsis with no visitors allowed. As he’d been quite unwell before admission, I then treated myself to staying in bed longer and slept better too. I could stay in the bath as long as I wanted and watch the tv programmed I generally missed.
I think it’s all about looking after yourself first, then blitz the house/garden when you can be ar**d.
I hope your DH recovers soon.
Ps - love Alan Bennett too - try his Talking Heads collection. X

Susan56 Wed 11-Nov-20 13:31:20

So sorry to hear your news Fanny.I hope you get some good news from the hospital soon.?