Is there any point?

Having suffered from depression for years your post could have been written by me in my worst times. Please seek some medical help, it could make a real difference. Take good care of yourself physically too, when I am not looking after my health it’s easy to feel low. Also, distract, distract , distract, read, listen to podcasts , learn something new . Big hugs

I try to find small compensations to distract me, even if it's only something really trivial like a nice sunny day, a lovely cup of tea or a new flower blooming in the garden.
We can't answer the big questions such as 'why are we here?' so that's the best I can offer.
I hope you feel better soon, maybe Covid and the approach of shorter days doesn't help.

Unfortunately all group activities have ceased this year which makes life much more difficult for people living alone especially those without families.
Walking alone takes a lot of motivation which can be lacking when feeling depressed.Sometimes Anti Depressants may be needed to get back on track so do try and see your Dr if need to.

To start with getting older doesn't have to mean diminishing health. Some people do sadly end up with medical problems, but many of the problems of old age are self inflicted. Obesity, lack of exercise, poor diet - and a good diet doesn't require fancy fruit and veg. Cabbages, carrots and apples are just as good.

So start with a positive attitude to your health so, if you are overweight inactive or eating badly, start to change that. There is nothing so life enhancing as a good walk, walk briskly, look around you. The immediate environment is itneresting even in big cities.

Then find something to do that is useful and fulfilling and that you enjoy anything from joining a knit and natter group, to volunteering to studying a subject to interest you.

At the end of the day only you can help yourself - and you can.

Just want to say what an amazing community you all are!

But you are young yet, skyblue. Who knows what amazing things are ahead for you. Just hang on through this and life will get better.
At over 80 I am just beginning to feel pretty pointless. I ask myself what is the point of bothering about anything.
But you are too young to feel like that.

I just want to say skyblue I understand that feeling completely you are not alone
Xx

I’m only in my late 50’s and already feel very washed up & useless. The feeling got worse since my youngest child left for university - I just feel like nobody needs me anymore and my ‘purpose’ in life is what exactly?
So what I’m saying op is, whether you have children or not, that empty ‘no point’ feeling can hit any of us.
I guess in the end it comes down to personality type. Some women relish this time of life and the freedom ( and peace ) it gives them - others really struggle.
No magic answer other than what others have already said.
Keep as busy as possible. And yes, it is an old cliche, but getting a pet will help.

All the best op. There’s 1000’s of us feeling the same

I personally have gained so much from the posters on here, all your experience, wisdom advice and tips. I have no family support so rely on these forums, even though I rarely post.

You matter to strangers like me.

Skyblue2, feeling that there's 'no point to anything' may well indicate that you're depressed. I'd see my GP if I felt like that. What do you do for fun?

I just can't be unhappy right now, despite all the troubles of the world. (Our journeys aren't that similar.)

Life is calm and peaceful (for me) compared to the very difficult days of the 'worst years'. Now, I really appreciate everything and, having survived some very dangerous times, I see every new day as a bonus!

By contrast, my sister and friend are both upset - as this virus and lockdown situation is the worst thing that's ever happened to them (lucky things).

Thank you for the compassionate comments. We are all on a similar journey. My mum had a small dog that brought her much joy and comfort while she was alive.

Wonderful advice sparklingsilver28. This has been a difficult year but there is now ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.

Skyblue2 My dear girl the simplest things in life often bring the greatest pleasure. You are young yet, I am 82, with multiple health issue, but the zest for life nevers fades.

In my thirties, a sad a very difficult time, I knew when I retired I had to have something that absorbed me as much as a professional life. In other words working not only saved my sanity it gave me life. I read, write and research and learn something new every day. I cannot garden very much these days but this years I had my very first apple harvest. I watched those apples grow from small buds to large and tasty maturity. Planted lettuce and radishes the remnants of which food for a young friends rabbit.

Music stirs every emotion possible from joy to sorrow - it warms the soul and inspires love and inspiration. Take heart and find some thing that really interests you and you will be surprised how different you will feel about life.

The joy of it all will get you up in the morning and put you to bed at night.

Sorry for your sorrow. My life is very different to yours. As others say, a pet could be the answer. Are you on facebook. I'm on there mearly to join groups that interest me and many an hour can pass looking at that (if you're not careful). You learn stuff and it can be interesting seeing what others do.

I am going through a worrying time at the moment but I am good at concentrating on a day at a time. I have bad days but I concentrate on those days when I am conscious of feeling happy. Small things can make me happy, the birds singing, delicious food, the beautiful autumn colours, a lovely view, a smile. There are so many small things to be thankful for.

I like the way Bridgeit put it. Focus on the small picture. The little day to day things that mean something.

If my children ask me what the point is, I tell them it's about the people we care about and being there for them, sharing with them, and finding the small things in life.

It is difficult to make suggestions about coming to terms with life it’s ups & downs & as you say finding a point to it all.None of us choose to be here, but here we are.
I think sometimes it’s better to look at the smaller picture rather than the bigger one, by that I mean take life a day at a time, switch of the news, do something or one thing everyday that you enjoy even if only for a short while.
Quiet often helping others helps us with our own feelings & helps the time to pass quicker & with more enjoyment or fulfilment. Best wishes .

Skyblue2 I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I imagine you can't visit either?
Are you still working? If not could you do some voluntary work? Offer to help at your local food bank? We all benefit from a sense of being needed.
This dreadful year is proving such hard going for lots of people. Let's hope things start to improve soon ?

I'm sorry you are feeling as you are SkyBlue .I think the events of 2020 are having a negative effect on our lives and emotions and lack of family makes things even more difficult to cope with.
Like you my circle of friends is getting smaller as friends have either left my area to move nearer to their families or have sadly died .I do keep trying to reinvent my life by joining various groups but it gets harder as I get older and this year has put an end to activities I was hoping to attend.
My main focus in life at present is my cat.She relies on me and is keeping me going because she needs me.Do you have a pet,or could you perhaps get one? It may help ease some of the loneliness.
Let's hope next year will be better for us all x

I feel pretty much the same. I've had some horrendous times like most of us. I honestly don't know how I'm still here, but I am. Like OceanMama I try to do what I enjoy. I walk a bit and enjoy nature, have the occasional treat, well more than occasional lately! I try to concentrate on the little things when the big things seem too hard to bear. Sending best wishes

Do you have any pets? If you could see the joy in a dogs face ( less so in a cat maybe) when you walk into the house you might feel life was worth living ? Plus walking is always good for watching the seasons change and dogs love their walks.

I’m not suggesting that this would be an easy fix, but it might be worth considering.

A family member was also lonely , no other family except elderly parents, but since they got a puppy, they have changed so much, they are a different person.

No answers here but just wanted to empathise a little. I've had a lot to deal with the last while. I do find the small things that give my life meaning and that is what I focus on, day to day. I don't know what is around the corner but I focus on making each day the best it can be. I don't know what the point is anymore, other than being here for those I love and finding the small joys of each day. I suppose that's how I have come to terms with loss in my life - look for the little joys and create new experiences for myself.

I don’t mean to sound negative but I just don’t feel there is any point to anything. How do others come to terms with this?

I have no idea SkyBlue; I wish I did.