Goodbye

What Chewbacca said.

rafichagran

I hope teetime returns. Hetty you are not realistic, you were wrong, you came across as patronising and nasty.

And the pile on is coming across as nasty, vindictive and sanctimonious . FFS

Could it be time to leave well alone?

Well said Chewbacca

What original post was I rude on? (There are so many.) Do we really have to be kind, syrupy sweet - and bleat, like sheep, in agreement. What happened to healthy debate?

You're conflating healthy debate with rudeness, sharpness and incivility Hetty. Not everyone is as robust and dogmatic as you; some of us are worried and fragile and hurt more easily than you. And whilst the news and politics threads is accepted as being for those of a more robust and strong disposition, and are generally avoided by those who can't hack the cut and thrust on those threads, it's just not acceptable to be equally acerbic and rude on other threads where posters just want to chat - not debate. There is a difference.

I still don't know what I said or where!

I’m not usually involved in threads where there’s a ‘robust’ debate going on because I can’t, but as I said, if I receive a sharp, abrupt, nasty comment I either reply in a similar way, or stop commenting on that page, treating it with the contempt it deserves.

Hetty58

I still don't know what I said or where!

Seriously? I miss 99.76% of what people refer to on threads like this, but even I know what happened.

Teetime posted about a computer scam that her husband had fallen for (or nearly fallen for) as a warning to others. She said that he was computer savvy (for context), and it was pointed out very bluntly by a couple of posters that he can't have been as savvy as she thought, or he wouldn't have fallen for it.

One poster has explained her reasons for being short, apologised, and then left (I think). Is that enough of a clue?

I'm another who can see a huge difference between debate, where opinions are contested, and personal unpleasantness, where individuals (or their partners) are attacked.

Doodledog, oh I see. I've just had a look at it and yes, I was a bit sharp.

Teetime (if you're still with us) I'm very sorry and I didn't intend to upset you. I do tend to say exactly what I think - so I'll try to be more understanding in future.

Too little to late I'm afraid,.

As I posted earlier, Teetime has left.

Lucca well yes she has said this!
And?
Is it not helpful to others ( who sometimes misread or skip over posts) to be included or updated
in the full understanding of the meaning of the thread?

Sorry I dont understand your post!

Namsnanny, you really can’t blame Lucca for anyone’s lack of understanding if posters decide to skip posts or don’t RTF thread.

It’s not for me to say ‘thanks’ for your apology Hetty, but I was pleased to see it ?

Kalu I didn't think I was blaming her for others not understanding or skipping posts.
I was giving her my reasons for stating Teetime had already left
As that was the only reason I could think of for her post.
I said I didn't understand her post, so she could, if she felt she wanted to enlighten me!
Do you see something I've missed then?

Lucca’s, well yes, she said this was, to me, simply a confirmation of what you had previously posted.

Not something I think warranted to then continue with lack of understanding and non inclusion for posters who have chosen not to RTF thread.

Kalu. Thank you very much. I admit I get irritated that posters don’t read threads. How hard is it ? And if they are so busy they don’t have time well then they shouldn’t be frittering away their time on Gransnet! (Like me)

If anyone thinks Teetime left because of one thread, they need to give their heads a wobble. More likely a last straw. Still scapegoating has a function doesn’t it or it wouldn’t be do widespread

kalu lucca I'll just accept I dont understand the need to make the statement in the first place.
Or pick up on it in the second.

But that you both felt it was a necessary point to make!

Vive la difference

susiewoozie ... yes last straw no doubt, but scapegoating? Again I'm not understanding where?

Hetty58 Yes you were a bit sharp but it shows you are a bigger person by apologising. Well done you.

You’re welcome Lucca. Not to RTF thread is indeed irritating. It’s akin to reaching the latter part of a conversation when someone requests, remind me again! Argh!

Namsnanny

susiewoozie ... yes last straw no doubt, but scapegoating? Again I'm not understanding where?

Blaming Hetty in particular and others on the relevant thread and then continuing to pile on as though she’d been eating babies

And calling her a name that had to be deleted- nice