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You should make an effort...

(176 Posts)
vampirequeen Wed 25-Nov-20 14:08:29

It's soapbox time. I don't wear makeup very often. It's not that I have anything against it and it's something I always wear if I'm going somewhere where I need a confidence boost/mask to hide behind. The rest of the time I don't bother. I'm clean and tidy with brushed hair but no makeup. Today I was told that I would look nice if I put on made an effort by putting on some makeup. Why????? Will make up make me a better person? Will I miraculously stop being ill? What purpose would it serve?

Rant over.

CazB Thu 26-Nov-20 17:52:56

Very rude! I like a little "slap" before I go out, but I have plenty of friends who don't and they look great. Don't take any notice!

Dillonsgranma Thu 26-Nov-20 17:47:11

I wear a little eye makeup and moisture iser and concealer on the thread veins on my cheeks.
It makes me feel better about myself somehow ?

FarNorth Thu 26-Nov-20 17:23:13

grandma60

I had a friend who repeatedly told me that I should be like her, dye my brown hair blonde and wear pale pink lipstick. Apparantly my husband would have been much happier.
She is no longer a friend.

I once had a well padded & enlarged bust, for a fancy dress night out.
At work, a few days later, a colleague commented that my husband would be happy if my boobs were actually that size (hers were).
I replied 'No actually, he prefers small ones."
She looked crestfallen - she'd obviously thought she was every man's dream woman. grin

lemongrove Thu 26-Nov-20 17:15:34

Barmeyoldbat

Beautiful women don't need make up.

That’s all very well....if you’re beautiful! Most of us are not.?

vampirequeen Thu 26-Nov-20 17:12:59

The lady in question is well into her eighties. She's from the age of 'never be seen without your makeup'. She says she doesn't feel awake until she's got it on.

It was meant as a criticism btw but that's the way she is with me and it's not worth the confrontation and having to apologise (I always end up being apologetic no matter what). It's a complicated relationship grin

Tanjamaltija Thu 26-Nov-20 17:12:10

"I can decide whether to look nice or not, but you cannot decide whether to BE nice or not..."

CarrieAnn Thu 26-Nov-20 17:10:26

I once had a fiance who told me he would never marry someone he hadn't seen without makeup,as I worked in a chemists we all wore makeup while at work,but I never wore it when I went out with him.Everyone tells me I have very good skin which I'm pleased about as I shall be seventy five at Christmas.

Barmeyoldbat Thu 26-Nov-20 17:07:46

Beautiful women don't need make up.

Flakesdayout Thu 26-Nov-20 16:40:53

One of the perks of the masks - no lipstick!

123kitty Thu 26-Nov-20 16:33:49

As you've been unwell is it possible your rude visitor was just trying to be helpful (not very tactfully). The act of doing something to make oneself look and feel better can often be a pick me up (maybe that's your visitors' way of coping, I know it's mine, whereas my sister lies in a candle lit, perfumed bath, so be glad your visitor didn't say "you should have a bath") flowers

Kim19 Thu 26-Nov-20 16:30:05

How I respond would certainly have depended on my relationship with the 'offender'. My besty and children can get away with murder whereas anyone lesser important can't affect me. Maybe someone was trying to give you a nudge when they noticed you were one degree under. VERY heavy handed method, I'll agree but not to worry. As long as you're happy with your appearance - and you seem to be - that's all that matters. Hope you feel better in general soon. Sometimes being one degree under makes us even more sensitive. Good luck.

biba70 Thu 26-Nov-20 16:04:22

phoenix. love your replies- perfect.

Callistemon Thu 26-Nov-20 15:59:53

vampirequeen
I've decided that I really should make an effort.

When I have a parcel delivered, I've realised what happens:

We won't ask you to sign for your parcel. We'll knock on the door and step back, then when you answer we will take a picture of the parcel in your open doorway.

Are they snapping me too? shock
I'm expecting a parcel soon and didn't bother with hair or makeup this morning!

biba70 Thu 26-Nov-20 15:59:10

No make up for me for a very long time. I have very sensitive skin and even hypo allergenic upsets me- and I don't want my makeup to be tested on animals, etc.

Aepgirl Thu 26-Nov-20 15:55:08

That’s just rude. Unless you had asked for advice, nobody has any right to say that to you.

GrannyRose15 Thu 26-Nov-20 15:33:34

vampirequeen
I'm so sorry this has upset you and I understand completely how you feel. You mention that you are ill. Is it possible, I wonder, if the person who said this thought that maybe you would FEEL better with makeup. It might not have been meant as a slight but as practical hint for feeling good about yourself. I remember once when I was very depressed my mother told me I should smarten myself up to make me feel better. Of course I hated her for it but she turned out to be right - as mothers often are.

MissAdventure Thu 26-Nov-20 15:28:39

My mum was firmly of the opinion that a bit of lipstick made one feel better. (Sometimes she was right)

rockgran Thu 26-Nov-20 15:27:31

When I was a teenager in the 1960s we wore very pale lipstick -now I have that look naturally!

earnshaw Thu 26-Nov-20 15:21:20

maybe they just meant that you would feel better as well as look better, its just a confidence boost thing, im sure no offence was intended

Sparklefizz Thu 26-Nov-20 15:03:01

widgeon3

My husband's boss invited us to a dinner party at which I sat at the opposite end of the table
He raised his voice and said that I was very animated and obviously intelligent but had I never considered using a hair dye as my white hair aged me considerably
I replied that I had noticed that he was rather short and had he ever considered wearing built-up shoes.......

Yay! Well said widgeon3. That's the sort of answer I would only have thought of 6 hours later.

Sparklefizz Thu 26-Nov-20 15:01:10

I put on moisturiser, blusher and mascara every day. I look totally washed out and drained without blusher - it's a miracle which gives me a boost. I do it for myself. I live on my own so no one sees it except the Sainsbury's delivery man and my cat.

paddyanne Thu 26-Nov-20 14:55:01

I put my face on as soon as I'm out of bed,I touch it up throughout the day and if I was going out I'd clean it all off and put a fresh face on.Its how I've been since I was about 14.
Its nobody's business but mine .I'm not vain ,in fact I have very low self esteem .
Nothing worse than the "I've never worn it ,cant stand women who SLAP on makeup" brigade.Must be nice to be so self confident .Alas its too late for me ,so my makeup box will stay stocked and the GC will recognise me when they see me.Strangely my daughter only wears make up if she's going somewhere special.....so my issues didn't rub off on her .

Camelotclub Thu 26-Nov-20 14:52:37

Apparently, lipstick sales have hit rock bottom because there's no point wearing it under a mask!

Ramblingrose22 Thu 26-Nov-20 14:30:31

Bloody rude. What's it got to do with her?

She needs a lecture on inappropriate behaviour - eg "Do you realise that suggesting other people need to change their appearance is rude? " or "Well, we all have the freedom to choose whether to wear make up, don't we, and I choose not to wear it."

I have tried to ensure that these comments are not rude!

Milo27 Thu 26-Nov-20 14:21:18

Sometimes when you look good you feel good, as a Beauty Therapist of 42 years, I have my lashes and brows tinted so when I look in the mirror I have features if I am not wearing any make-up! My choice . It should always be personal choice, if you don't want to, don't!