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When not travelling is really difficult...

(4 Posts)
CanadianGran Wed 02-Dec-20 01:45:51

I know we have all been so good isolating, but there are times when one wants to be with family for moral support but distance and the pandemic stops us.

My dear older sister's husband is very sick with ALS, and was just admitted to hospital today with pneumonia. The outcome is not good, but even if his lungs get better, his body is failing him.

I live on the west coast of Canada, and the rest of my family is in central Canada. I have two sisters and a brother that all live within 30 km of each other, and the younger sister and my brother and their families have been a great support for my older sister and husband. Helping with household jobs, helping with the paperwork and forms that are necessary with a sick husband and in-home care. Bless their hearts, it is good to know family is there when you need them.

I am just feeling helpless on this side of the country, and only there for moral support on the phone. I wish I could do more.

This pandemic is so difficult in so many ways. Not to be able to be there and give a hug or make a meal for those in need. I look forward to the time hopefully next spring when we are able to travel again.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. I know we are all in a difficult time.

Dorsetcupcake61 Wed 02-Dec-20 06:30:07

I'm up early in the UK so I saw your post. I was lucky enough to visit Canada in 2018-beautiful place and everyone I met was so lovely!
Undoubtedly not being able to support loved ones and friends is one of the worst aspects of this pandemic.
Most of my extended family live in another part of the country and are getting smaller by the year. Contact is usually by phone or social media for the younger ones.
My youngest daughter lives very close by. My eldest daughter ,her husband and two childeren live a two hour drive away. They are better placed than many,no pressing financial problems, healthy and have a good relationship.
Visits have been limited to two since March.
During the first lockdown my youngest daughter was able to do distanced visits to bring anything I need as I am a vulnerable person.
Despite video calls etc it did dawn on me how cut off my eldest daughter felt.
Although extremely limited my youngest daughter and I could at least see each other from a distance. Technology is a wonderful plus point on this pandemic but it's just not the same!
I think your post reminded me of that situation. Yes we all want to be able to offer emotional support and practical help,even if it's just a chat from two metres away. I feel that it's so hard for those who live distances that are to far to travel. Somehow missing a shared experience, however social distanced,over a prolonged period of time,feels more intense and isolating.
I hope that makes sense,it is early in the morning!

CanadianGran Wed 02-Dec-20 06:54:28

Thank you, it is so difficult sometimes. I can forgo the tropical vacations that others are moaning about not being able to travel. Those seem like small losses now.

It's being able to sit with loved ones when they need you that are the precious trips, or the grandkids on your knee.

We are not actually banned from travel between provinces, but it is highly discouraged, and I wouldn't put my sister and husband at risk. These are trying times. Yes, thank goodness for social media and cheap long distance calls.

Dorsetcupcake61 Wed 02-Dec-20 07:22:05

I must admit the couple of hours drive my eldest daughter lives away has never really felt much of an issue until now.
The pandemic has completely changed how we do things though. Obviously during lockdown any travel is essential only. However outside of lockdown the practicalities of two under fives and journeys and staying overnight are complex.
Coincidentally my son in laws family all live locally to me! In the past I know they had both considered moving into the area. My son works in the city but its commutable. I think initially they felt they would also miss access to London and all that has to offer. Of course all of that has changed. My son in law is working from home indefinitely and accessing a large city is not so appealing.
Once the initial health concerns are over,or vastly reduced it will be interesting to see how our priorities change. I have been lucky enough to be able to do some travelling over the past four years. I must admit I was bemused by the rush to book holidays this summer. Obviously being in a vulnerable group affected my outlook but for me a socially distanced holiday didnt appeal!