Never thought this sort of thing would bother me - but grandchild prefers other Nan to me.

Kandinski - could you ask your granddaughter what she likes doing at her other grans. You could then see if you could do something similar (or even better).

I’m a good few miles away from both sets of GC so I think it’s a given that they will see more of their other grandparents and therefore be closer. But hopefully they will continue to look forward to coming to see us as they get older and see we love them and are fun grandparents to be with.

Nothing wrong with a bit of bribery Moonlight]

Many contestants on SCD were told by Bruce that they were ‘his favourite’.

Some of the grans on here sound quite full of themselves, saying how they know they are the favourite, they do more ‘fun’ things, they’re not so ‘formal’.

Perhaps they are told what they want to hear!

I remember my 3 year old daughter saying she wanted another mother from the village to be her mummy . This was because the mum she was talking about didn’t have any rules. I was upset and first until my mum pointed out that being a good parent means you risk the child’s displeasure. I think children can be manipulative without realising. After all, they are the centre of their own universe. Take heart, it will pass . Hugs xx

We don't get to spend much time with our grandson because his mother prefers her own mother to babysit. However every time he comes here we play with him and give him lots of treats and now he's asking to come. I do feel your pain though.

Sorry - I don't know how to add an older comment - this was a comment regarding a grandchild asking if their grandmother was pregnant.

One of my grandchildren said the same at a similar age - it was a fair question to be honest. When a couple of years older, he said he didn't want to get old as you get ugly when you are. It still makes me smile. It's lovely how children are honest in their interpretation of what they see (when they are so young) - with no thought of upsetting people.

I am very much afraid that the other granny in our family (ie our son in laws mum) is desperate to be the favourite granny and she’s played all sorts of sly little tricks, to try to ensure she’s the ‘best granny in the world’. I simply couldn't understand it, and I make sure that I never stoop to her level, although I have been tempted!

I have been hugely hurt by her manipulative behaviour but now I’ve learned to just go with the flow. Our grandchildren are now 8, 6, and 4, and they now seem to love seeing us but there was a definite time a few years ago when her insinuations were very negative and our oldest g’daughter in particular was very taken in by it.

I eventually reminded the granny, very calmly one afternoon after a particularly uncalled for comment by her, that it wasn’t a competition and that I had never said anything negative about her. I think she has taken notice, and I think things are improved BUT it was hugely hurtful while it lasted.

Incidentally, she is the paternal granny so I don’t think that it’s always to do with mothers/daughters or sons/mother but far more to do with individual personalities. ?.

I have five grandchildren. I love them all equally but spend most of my time looking after the two who live nearby. They have sleepovers at my home and I regularly "kidnap" them for playdates.

My other three grandchildren live over 240 miles away. I generally spend school holidays and half-terms with two of them. Their nanna lives five minutes away from them and sees them all the time. The youngest grandchild is only one, so lockdowns have severely restricted family visits.

I'm delighted that 4 of my grandchildren have so much love and attention from both grandmothers. I'm resigned to the fact that I can't be with my southern grandchildren as much as I would like.

I don't think grandchildren love one grandmother more than the other, they just love us differently.

As long as you show them love, that's be all that counts. It isn't a competition.

It does hurt had the same problem with my sons daughter. She just came out with it one day saying she preferred her other nana. I’ve never forgotten about it and she s 10 now and it’s still sticks with me. And I’m a nursery teacher?

GC eh? A complete joy for me (that I never ever hankered after). I have one who charges at me like a thunderbolt and another who tolerates a high five. I think both care for me equally; they're just so wonderfully different. I've had the information as to what Granny does better than me. Not a chance of letting it hurt. Favourite put down (but not intentional) was when at four year old one asked me why my boobs were 'away down there' whilst we were dressing in the swimming pool. And there was me thinking I was quite respectable in that department. Huh! What I love is the way they accept a simple answer without supplementaries. It's a kind of 'okay then' and on we go. Bliss........

Don't worry - things change. My grandson (who has autism) ignored me completely until he was 5. He is now 11 and we could not be closer - in fact he asked if he could marry me!!
So carry on being the best grandmother you can be and it will all come right.

My GD lived with me for the first 18 mths of her life. Then they moved 3 mins walk from me. I see her every day and am a big part of her life. When she started school she told me she had a boyfriend called Josh in her class. She then told me she loved him. I jokingly said 'do you love him more than nanny?'. Without a second thought she said 'oh yes'. I was gutted! On a good note though I mentioned the conversation the other day ( 5 years later) and she said 'who's Josh? ' Children change frequently and so do their favourite people. So I was pushed aside for a 4 year old she'd known for 3 days ?

When my grandson was small he once burst into tears when we arrived as he thought it was the other grandparents who were coming. Turned out he wanted them for their dog! It might be something similar and not really personal.

B9exchange

I think children naturally gravitate towards their mother's mother rather than their father's mother, not sure if that applies in your case. But as others have said it is just a phase. Remember how hurtful it was when your baby didn't want to go to your husband, they grow out of it!

UGH says the mother of 5 sons. Not yet a grand but this is a real fear for me.

Some children are in the unfortunate position of having no grandparents, others have anything from 1 to 8 depending on whether there have been divorces etc along the way!
Some grandparents have grandchildren they never get the chance to meet.
If you think of something like two places you've been on holiday that you really liked. One might be your favourite, but you would not have wanted to miss the experience of your second favourite. You might even choose it over the other for a future holiday due to some relatively minor issue, such as the number of steps each has to reach the beach!
Your granchild's life has been enriched by having both grannies. She may have a preference for the other granny just now due to the cake she had last time she went or the colour of the wallpaper or whatever.
It's not a competition, and even if her preference goes deeper, view it as a privilege to be there for your GD, to enhance and influence her life and be one of the adults she knows love her and are there for her no matter what.

If it’s any consolation I am the only grandmother all of my grandchildren have but they don’t seem to be bothered if I’m in their life or not. I often wonder what it would be like if there were other grandmothers around.

i agree with Mamo above.
it's a mistake to put too much emotional expectation on to young children. i don't think it is fair on them.
they are living their own lives.

My two and a half year old GS lives the other side of the world. When I’m on FaceTime, after a short while he waves goodbye and switches off. Doesn’t bode well for a meeting! ?

I don’t think lots of small children realize the meaning of the word favourite, other than it’s a compliment. So they call both grannys their favourite. I call my grandson my favourite grandson, and he repays the compliment..... it doesn’t occur to him that it’s a joke as he’s my only grandson!

You should, indeed, be glad that your GD has access to both sets of GPs. My 3 year old GD in Australia has one set of GP in Peru, who don’t speak English, so miss out a great deal. I’m her English Grandma, also a long way off. I often chat to her, and read her bedtime stories via the internet. We have a great relationship, but it’s not the same as a hands-on cuddly one.
My baby GS also lives in Oz, and I’m doing my best to build up a relationship with him online, until I can get over there to see him’in the flesh’. Luckily his other GPs live just down the road, and see him often. I have a great relationship with them, and my DIL, and try not to be jealous.
My other GS, who is 18, is stranded over there, too. He stayed for a while with his (divorced) Dad, after our visit last Christmas, and can’t get back yet, because of Covid. I won’t be seeing him for a while, either, and neither will his Mum and sister.
So, be glad that you can spend lots of time with your GD. As others have said, children are fickle and change with the wind.

This could possibly have something do to with the activities for nvolved when your GD visits. When mine come to visit I always set aside that time for playing, crafting, painting, bug hunting in the garden, etc. Other GM isn't quite so proactive, hence they prefer to come to me but that's not always possible or fair. Try to determine what you GD wants to do during her time with you, maybe she will settle better.

Please try not to worry it’s what children often say. My 4 year old granddaughter often tells me I’m her favourite and no doubt says same to her other nanni. She also says same between mother and father. She is a little darling but always think it’s worth part of her childish manipulation/control. Best just to enjoy them.

I'm the other way round. My dgs likes me best. I'm the paternal grandmother. I just think we've got a natural bond. Luckily there is a little dgd and she gravitates towards the other grandmother, probably because of the closeness between her brother and me.