feeling deflated and frumpy

HRT or not, perhaps your friend would look the same. Genetics play a big part in how we look. Do you resemble a parent? Do you know if your friend resembles one of hers. In the current times make up is hardly used as it just comes off on a mask. Eye make up okay, but that can look ridiculous when the rest of the face is "undone". You are able to get about, only take simple painkillers, are these not good points? Anyone would feel down meeting a glamourour person on what seemed to be a horrible wet day. We all have them you are not alone.

Wow she’s a charmer isn’t she, she’s no friend travelsafar, such an unkind think to say to you, I have never taken HRT so I have no experience of it, and don’t particularly want to, your so called friend I use the term loosely sounds very smug ( not a good trait) please don’t feel down in the dumps, my hair is also fine and tends to go frizzy due to the meds I’m taking, I think I would have smiled sweetly and said have a nice day. People like that really get my back up,

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

What I admire about people is their determination to keep going despite debilitating health conditions. (Not how good they look) You deserve to be applauded OP for keeping mobile and active.
The only thing I think about people who are dolled up is that they sit in front of a mirror far more than me. I’m glad I have freed myself since retirement from such social expectations. It’s liberating.
Well done for your courage and determination OP.

Oh I know just how you feel! Why do we always bump into a glam so called friend when we're having a 'dress down' day? Ditch her.
I have been on HRT oestrogen only for over 30years had hysterectomy when my son was 1 years old. Never looked back. I have arthritis like my mum did but thanks to HRT no osteoporosis.

Just put her words out of your head. Maybe she was having a good day. I have never taken HRT.. Was offered so many times. Now go look in the mirror.. .hold your head high and chin up and smile. It is a smile that is the most important thing when it comes to looks

I've always wondered why it's a Universal Law that you always bump into (or have a surprise visit from) someone you'd want to look decent for at a time when you haven't washed your hair and are wearing tatty old clothes.

I’ve never had HRT so can’t comment, but the only time I ever meet anyone or someone comes to the door, you can bet it’s a no make up and scruffs day.
I wouldn’t worry about it, we do the best we can and if it’s a painful day then so be it.
And HRT certainly hasn’t made her a nicer person, I bet with her make up off and a bad hair day she would look the same as the rest of us.

I used to have a friend like that, she would say hurtful things to or about me, usually in front of others. My response was to sat loudly “ouch”, and change the subject.
But I got fed up with that and now I hardly see her.

Yes I loved my HRT lovely hair and skin I thought who wants to lose oestrogen effects? But I had to have one that was light on progesterone, as that gave me crippling depression found new one then then had to stop it sad because I developed an oestrogen dependent form of breast cancer...verboten.
Our aging is far more determined by genetics and nothing for your friend to be smug about. People like to think their decisions are responsible, but life is never that simple. I’d be tempted to whack her shins with your stick next time though I’m sure she thought she was being helpful. I’m really saddened how much worth women put on looks.
How about ‘how are you?’ ‘Can’t complain’ and a chat about something interesting?

I always think this- don’t worry about what people think of you, it’s what you think about yourself that matters.
You might feel frumpy at the moment, I know I do, so have a pamper day at home. Use all the products that make you feel good and dress in something that you feel good in. Do you need to make an appointment for a hair cut or hair do? Spoil yourself, you know you’re worth it!

Very unkind comments travelsafar, I would take no notice and rise above it. I don’t think for one instant that you’re a frumpy old woman but she probably made you feel like it. Like some of the other grans have said, perhaps allow yourself a few treats whatever takes your fancy, then it’s onwards and upwards. You can do it.

Oh poor you travelsafar just what you didn’t need when you were out and about today. I sympathise about the hair - mine is fine and damp weather doesn’t do it any favours. Lucky for your friend to be blessed with good hair it does help in the elegance stakes! That said, she made a couple of crass remarks with little self-awareness there.

I’d rather have fine hair and be a kinder person (like you I imagine).
?

There will be another day when you are out looking your best and see someone not looking their best.

We do have a tendency to compare ourselves or our situations with those in a better position never those in a worse one.

travelsafar Her HRT obviously hasn’t made her kind or able to be sympathetic towards you. Please don’t feel down after meeting this person. Good friends brighten your day, she sounds very shallow.

What an unkind thing to say. I had a close friend saying lately I look like a frumpy housewife recently. I know I’ve put on a few pounds and it stung. Although I know I’ve put my foot in it more than once, commenting where I shouldn’t have so hopefully it was just a stupid faux pas than her being generally nasty.

Not sure this person merits the title friend. Making herself feel better by knocking you down, smacks of insecurity to me.
Beauty comes from within, and not HRT.
Don't let her win! Do some things that make you be feel good.
I have a marvelous foot soak that helps my sore feet, and some mysterious goo that makes my hair softer and smells of banana.
Give yourself a few treats because you deserve it, not because some vacuous woman has boosted her ego at your expense

Your "friend" sounds like a witch - how mean! Do something for yourself that makes you feel good and never mind what she thinks.

How rude and hurtful. I know someone who always looks fabulous but boy does she know it. She's not rude but has said the occasional thing. Such as when we were leaving a works do, she announced to everyone 'I picked up the wrong coat. It was Kate's. It was so big I looked like a clown' I'm not particularly big by the way, 14 ish, and was probably smaller then.

Oh kitty that made me laugh out loud. I just imagined her in her leopard skin and red boots!

kittylester

There is always someone, isn't there, who makes us feel bad. We have a slim, blond neighbour who fkits around looking fabulous in skin tight leopard skin leggings - but her conversation is limited to things like 'your cats dont know what to make of my red boots!'

I'm sure you are a fabulous person and she had no business making you feel uncomfortable.

I second kitty’s last sentence.

There is always someone, isn't there, who makes us feel bad. We have a slim, blond neighbour who fkits around looking fabulous in skin tight leopard skin leggings - but her conversation is limited to things like 'your cats dont know what to make of my red boots!'

I'm sure you are a fabulous person and she had no business making you feel uncomfortable.

Travelsafar, I wouldn't worry if I were you as genuine people accept you for who you are and not what you look like.

I was told many years ago by my then GP that HRT would cause ovarian cancer as the hormone would over stimulate the ovaries and cause mischief. It caused breast cancer in a friend of mine and kidney cancer in another. These ladies had always looked top notch in every way----but sadly not any longer.

My Mum was put on HRT when she developed osteoporosis.
It helped with that but she then developed breast cancer and needed a mastectomy so it's a tricky balance.

Treat yourself to a lovely glamorous colourful hat to protect your hair from the damp weather, maybe some nice gloves to match, and next time you see this tactless lady put your best smile on and be ready for her ☺️