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Hope this raises a smile

(12 Posts)
Floradora9 Tue 08-Dec-20 13:04:22

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

Police were summoned to a day care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

Jane10 Tue 08-Dec-20 13:44:22

Groan! It's like Bob Monkhouse has returned!

Grany Tue 08-Dec-20 13:54:54

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MrsThreadgoode Tue 08-Dec-20 13:58:45

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I enjoy these.

Lucca Tue 08-Dec-20 14:01:48

Good, but been around a while !

LadyGracie Tue 08-Dec-20 14:07:40

Made I laugh [grin}

LadyGracie Tue 08-Dec-20 14:08:20

grin even

vampirequeen Tue 08-Dec-20 20:32:31

I love these grin

CherryCezzy Tue 08-Dec-20 21:09:46

I like these too.

The days were numbered for the calendar factory.

It was crunch time at the crisp factory.

The local newspaper has folded.

A bit of a theme here .... ๐ŸŽถ

LadyBella Tue 08-Dec-20 21:17:24

I used to think I was indecisive but now I'm not so sure.

ExD Tue 08-Dec-20 21:27:58

She was only a sergeant's daughter but she knew what regiment

nadateturbei Tue 08-Dec-20 22:02:34

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