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"Retarded Grandparents" (lighthearted)

(11 Posts)
HurdyGurdy Sun 13-Dec-20 11:06:54

Just come across this on Facebook, and it made me smile. I am looking forward to being a retarded grandparent smile

I have my doubts as to whether it is a real thing, written by a real child, but nevertheless . . .

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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.
They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore!
They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck centre, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked centre for pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
PRICELESS!
Remember to send this to all your "retarded grandparent" friends and give them a laugh too!!

CraftyGranny Sun 13-Dec-20 11:10:38

Children, they are so funny. Bless them

FannyCornforth Sun 13-Dec-20 11:23:26

HurdyGurdy - you're right there, it's not 'a real thing, written by a real child'.

Mollygo Sun 13-Dec-20 11:37:34

Not a child, if they could write all the rest, they would know the correct term, and retarded is not a PC term any more.
Still, someone will have enjoyed writing it. My 5 yr old GD thought being retired meant you are tired all the time. It’s a great incentive to keep busy.

Tweedle24 Sun 13-Dec-20 11:41:55

I agree. Like a lot of things on Fb that are said to be written or said by children, they are are not.
However, like this one, they are usually funny.

Nanna58 Sun 13-Dec-20 11:48:34

Mollygo my niece used to say her grandad was ‘ real tired now’ !!!

GreyKnitter Sun 13-Dec-20 11:55:06

Slightly off on a tangent but on the theme of children mishearing and using alternative words - my 4 year old granddaughter insists that she has been learning about Baby Genius at school. Made her family laugh! 😂🤣😂

Smileless2012 Sun 13-Dec-20 13:05:45

No, not written by a child but amusing all the same.

Oh that's so sweet Nannatchgrin.

FannyCornforth Sun 13-Dec-20 13:59:32

GreyKnitter

Slightly off on a tangent but on the theme of children mishearing and using alternative words - my 4 year old granddaughter insists that she has been learning about Baby Genius at school. Made her family laugh! 😂🤣😂

I know of a boy called Genius.

Namsnanny Sun 13-Dec-20 14:25:11

Greyknitter Baby Genius lovey memories grin

I cant say why exactly, but I don't really find it funny. Knowing it's not written by a child (which seems obvious to me) makes it 'feel off'.

Bathsheba Sun 13-Dec-20 14:33:59

I'm with you Namsnanny. I don't find it in the least funny, because it's pretty obviously not written by a child. So all the while I'm reading it, I'm just imagining this idiot grown up trying desperately to think of childish ways to describe things. And failing miserably