Struggling with split

Perhaps some straight talking with your son and his girlfriend, separately or together, however you feel comfortable. Tell them both you are saddened by their split but their child is still your grandchild and as such you want to maintain and nurture your relationship with her and be very much part of her life.
If they are both decent human beings with an ounce of common sense and decency they will understand and actually welcome your involvement in the child's life surely.

A sad reality is that many couples break up. They will be ok

Please dont let your son, ex dil and gc know what you are doing through. They should concentrate on finding their new normal.

If the parents can keep things amicable and share child care then that is the best way forward Seanc It is distressing seeing our adult children in these difficulties, they will need you to be supportive and keep things on an even keel for your granddaughter.
As yggdrasil said at least your granddaughter has both parents, my son in law died when his children were 4 and 18 months.

yggdrasil

At least she still has two parents, even if separated. My father died when I was 7.

I’m sorry. That really does put things into perspective, although I feel sad, it could be much worse

At least she still has two parents, even if separated. My father died when I was 7.

I think both parents will keep it amicable. It’s interesting that you say once the initial split happens they get used to the new ‘ normal’ because this is what I’m hoping for. It only happened this weekend but has been brewing for about a month.
I’m glad that I came on here.

Seanc it's heartbreaking to see from the outside isn't it?
Hopefully your son and his ex can remain amicable and agree shared care of your granddaughter.

I've seen this so many times over many years with the children I childmind. From my experience as long as the adults co-operate with each other then after the initial upheaval, when children are often confused, upset and angry, things do settle down and the children get used to their "new normal."
Your granddaughter certainly won't be the only child in her class in this situation.

One annoying thing recently is that a couple of schools have only sent emails or letters to one parent and the other one misses important information, so you could suggest that they ask for any communications to be sent to both of them.

Yeah, I’m guessing that’s all I can do is be there for her. I’d never criticise as I know that would make things worse. It’s a strange situation as both parents struggle with their mental health which has played a big part as well as lockdown.

Carenza it's op's son.

I would be devastated if my daughter split up with her husband and an know how my two granddaughters have been affected by their best friend’s mum and dad splitting up. I think the best friend has had some counselling. All you can do is be there as a support for your daughter and granddaughter and don’t judge or criticise.

Thank you. When ever I think of her getting upset I turn into an emotional wreck lol. She’s loved by everyone in both families and I know there’s no magic pill, I guess I just need to chat with others.

I'm not the best person to give advice, as I'm neither a mum nor grandmother. I am however a granddaughter, and your little girl is very lucky to have you.
I know that you will now get lots of kindness and support from some very wise women.

She’s 5

Thanks. Yeah she is and it’s very amicable. But I know she’s hurting but there’s nothing I can do but be there. I’m overthinking everything. Does everyone feel this way?

Of course you are okay to post here.
Is the girlfriend the little girl's mum, how old is your granddaughter?