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(21 Posts)
lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 17-Dec-20 12:14:56

It's hard to quantify precisely but I suppose I spent around 90-95% of my time doing as I wish. I answer to no-one and do as I please which is one of the small compensations of being widowed.
I do housework when I must and shop once a week. I don't have to put up with things and have largely learned to say no.

farview Thu 17-Dec-20 12:06:14

Bit of tweaking needed here then...obviously, because of covid..life isnt the same...lots of time being spent at home...missing family and outings with friends....feeling more 'sucked' into H's OCD routine...developed slowly over last 18months ...forgetfulness also...not re politics, current affairs,football etc..just mundane every day stuff...lots of arguments...if I say the sky is blue he disagrees...anyway...not too late to get hold of my own reins again...its my life...?

GrannyGravy13 Thu 17-Dec-20 10:39:09

Pre Covid my life balance was really good, holidaying /visiting AC and family abroad whenever the mood took me (DH doesn’t need much persuasion fortunately) eating out when I didn’t feel like cooking often with AC and GC.

Now I feel so resentful towards Covid and how it has imprisoned so many of us for nine months, how it has devastated and kept families apart, brought bereavement , illness, the impact on mental health and job losses/insecurities. I honestly do not know what parts of my pre-Covid life will continue, I am not sure if I will ever feel safe again.

My somewhat cosseted later years have been marred by the events of this global pandemic and I need to take each day at a time with slower mindful steps along the pathway of 2021.

traceyanne Thu 17-Dec-20 10:20:52

90% of working in a hospital and day to day stuff and 10% doing things l like.... covid has messed up my life balance. ???

dragonfly46 Thu 17-Dec-20 10:14:20

I would say I am the same as Puzzler at the moment.
I have a wonderful DH who is happy to always do what I want to do and is up for anything.
I find my days are really busy as there are so many things I want to do.

Urmstongran Thu 17-Dec-20 10:08:48

I love my life balance. I’m selfish (in a good way) as I prioritise my needs first and then because I’m in a happy place I’m more than willing to do things for others as and when because I’m not resentful. I’m not factored in as a carer though which I think must make a huge difference.

Some of my friends do a lot of childcare for instance. And to be honest some of them have begun to chafe at the restrictions it has imposed upon their retirement.

I adore our grandchildren but I always said I wanted to be grandma not a surrogate mum!

Finding the right balance for YOU is key here farview. If you’ve got it, you’ll know. If not, you’ll be better of tweaking it somehow.

Good luck. x

lemongrove Thu 17-Dec-20 09:03:42

It’s difficult to quantify really but I would say that these days it’s about 60% what we want to do and 40% doing things for family and others, even though it’s done willingly.

downtoearth Thu 17-Dec-20 08:41:55

The things that I do, I do willingly out of love,but still 75% I would say is things I do for others.

The other 25% of things that would like to do, I am prevented from doing,through lack of resources or finances.
But not complaining.

Situpstraight2 Thu 17-Dec-20 08:22:48

I read this post last night and still really can’t answer it, I do things because I have to, but I know that when I’ve done most of them I feel that it’s a job well done and thankfully won’t have to do again for a while.
Unless you have help how many of us can spend all day doing things that we love?
DH loves to go away on long holidays, I get all the crap of planning, packing organising and sorting out the house, fridges etc. before I can get to enjoy anything.
TBH I’m just so pleased that I’m still physically and mentally able to do things that I enjoy, plus things that just need to get done and that I have loved ones to do things with.

JackyB Thu 17-Dec-20 08:05:19

Like MOnica I don't really know which is which. I usually wait with the things I have to do until I feel like doing them. That way they get done quicker and with more enthusiasm.

M0nica Wed 16-Dec-20 22:17:16

No idea.Not sure I can tell one from the other.

tanith Wed 16-Dec-20 22:15:44

I’d say I don’t do many things that I don’t want to do nowadays. I please myself probably 90% of the time.

Callistemon Wed 16-Dec-20 22:10:46

I want to buy a big yacht, with a crew, and sail round the world.
So 0%

Puzzler61 Wed 16-Dec-20 22:00:02

Retirement was the game changer for me but I understand it depends if you are a carer. (I’m not). All 4 parents have now passed away, and no GC have arrived.
It’s something it’s never too late to work on farview and hopefully you can achieve a balance you’re happier with. I hope so. ?

Chewbacca Wed 16-Dec-20 21:54:54

Just lately.... 80% doing stuff I'd really rather not do but am obligated, one way and another, to do. But all that is about to change.

sodapop Wed 16-Dec-20 21:53:06

Now I've been retired a while I think my life balance is probably around 60% things I want to do and the other 40% things that have to be done. How lucky am I.

farview Wed 16-Dec-20 21:47:18

puzzler61...I'm still trying to work it out...but not looking as good as yours ....?

OceanMama Wed 16-Dec-20 21:41:01

Almost all of it is about what I have to do. I try to build what I want to do into that though. For example, as a carer for family, I try to find activities to do with them that I enjoy as well. Multi-tasking.

Puzzler61 Wed 16-Dec-20 21:36:31

How is the balance in your life farview?

Puzzler61 Wed 16-Dec-20 21:35:44

I’d say 95% of life consists of things I want to do. I spend time with family and friends /more recently keep in touch on FaceTime. Most of each day is walks in the fresh air, reading, writing and e mailing friends. Watch a couple of hours TV in the evenings at this time of year. To keep the brain cells active I do daily sodoku and other puzzles. Sitting stroking my beloved cat, gardening, cooking and playing music that I like.

5% which I don’t want to do is the necessary trips at times to the Vet, GP, Hospital and Dentist.

farview Wed 16-Dec-20 21:11:14

What percentage of your life is about things that you want to do.....
What percentage is taken up with things that you 'have' to do?....