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Really feeling down

(25 Posts)
Nanderin Fri 01-Jan-21 10:31:36

Hi everyone is it just me or is anyone else feeling the same.
I miss my grandchildren so much. I feel like there is no light at the end of this tunnel. I know in still here in 2021 but we lost two family members to covid so I'm not just feeling sorry for myself.😞

Tangerine Fri 01-Jan-21 10:33:53

I am no scientist but I think the vaccine is going to be a big help. It's not probably the complete answer and there may still have to be some restrictions but I think, in the end, things will improve.

I think we may have to wear masks in public places for a good while. It won't be a bad thing if we have to forever sanitise our hands when entering places.

Daisymae Fri 01-Jan-21 10:41:42

I think that most people are struggling to a degree. Personally I think that the only thing we can do is put our heads down and get through January as best we can. Try to find joy in small things.

GagaJo Fri 01-Jan-21 10:52:11

I feel exactly the same Daisymae. It is months since I saw my darling GS.

I am working to keep my mind off it. Over Christmas I kept weeping when DD reported that he was asking for me. Much as I love him I had to ask her not to message me as much. It was too hard.

BlueBelle Fri 01-Jan-21 10:59:42

It’s the same for most of us I think Nanderin I m normally a fairly positive person but finding I m really having to push myself and some periods I feel a bit helpless and a bit low but keep plodding on I m used to not seeing much of my grandkids so it’s not that, it’s the thought of how much difficulties they and other members of the family are going through with no real end in sight and I think that is the main problem if we had an end date we would have something to work towards, something to cross off, something to head to but every time things seem to ease a bit and they seems a chink of light we go backwards back into the gooom
Anyway onwards and upwards it’s 2021 and I can’t believe it won’t be better if not perfect
Hang in there my friends that’s what I m doing, hanging in

glammanana Fri 01-Jan-21 11:03:18

I know exactly how you feel Gagajo my DGCs are mostly all grown up and keep in touch via social media but my GGCs are 4yrs & 2yrs and this year I have missed first days at school and baby starting to walk and chatter its so depressing.

henetha Fri 01-Jan-21 11:08:02

It's not surprising you feel this way, Nanderin. To lose two family members during this nightmare is very distressing.
But hopefully we can look forward to an improvement this year, can't we.. The vaccine will surely help the world to get back to something like normal eventually.
I've been struggling lately, as have many of us, and the Black Dog thread is very comforting, all are welcome there.

Grandmadougal Fri 01-Jan-21 11:11:12

I feel just the same, each morning I try to think of something positive to do but the feeling in the background is always a bit gloomy.

I feel there is an end in sight but a long way off yet, just thinking about the next few weeks fills me with dread. Heard today that MIL care home has an outbreak and is completely locked down, not looking promising as. They haven’t managed to vaccinate there yet.

I miss DCS dreadfully but FaceTime has been a bonus.

Hoping for better things soon, stay strong everyone.

Luckygirl Fri 01-Jan-21 11:11:43

I am sorry that you are feeling down and that you have lost loved ones to this dreadful disease.

I do not have physical contact with my GC, but I love the photos and short videos that come over Whatsapp - not the same of course, but I am trying very hard to take joy from the things that I CAN do and try to to dwell on those that I can't.

The other day my DD sent me a pic of 2 GC on a sledge - they were the epitome of childhood joy and it lifted my spirits. It is hard I know, but I could have looked at it and felt down that I was not there with them; but they looked so happy that it was impossible not to feel happy too.

I chat to them outside and from a distance; and over the internet. In fact, when I think about it, I have more "contact" now than before as the DDs are always sending pics of what they are doing as they know I am missing them.

It is not like the real thing, but it a second best to be treasured, as so much better than nothing. GagaJo - don't cut off the messages - they are going to be very precious when you look back on them.

ginny Fri 01-Jan-21 11:12:41

Yes, it is hard. Like most of you I try to stay positive but most days something will make me tearful.
I have a great family and am lucky that they all live near but seeing them at the end of a drive or through a window , especially the little one is actually quite frustrating. Our youngest Dd is expecting a baby in May and I just hope we will be able to help out and be able to actually hold him/her. I just long to hug them all.
We just have to hang in there and make the best of what we have.

TrendyNannie6 Fri 01-Jan-21 11:12:43

It’s totally understandable nanderin, so sorry to hear about the losses heartbreaking! Giving you a virtual hug x

Nanderin Fri 01-Jan-21 15:08:35

Thank you everyone your messages have been very helpful. I will try and get by day by day at the minute. Hugs and best wishes to you all 🤗

avitorl Fri 01-Jan-21 17:45:30

I am having my lowest day since the beginning of the Pandemic. I am struggling to find hope that life will ever be normal again. I'm hoping as the weather improves so will my mood.Lockdown when the sun shone didn't seem so hard as I am fortunate to have a garden to sit in and a cat to share it with.
She is a Rescue Cat but has actually rescued me during these past months.

welbeck Fri 01-Jan-21 17:55:31

reminds me of the story of a cat called bob, who adopted a busker/homeless man and reformed him.
www.bigissue.com/latest/the-big-issue-pays-tribute-to-street-cat-bob/

"His loyal companion James Bowen said: “Bob saved my life. It’s as simple as that. He gave me so much more than companionship. With him at my side, I found a direction and purpose that I’d been missing"

dragonfly46 Fri 01-Jan-21 17:55:41

I feel the same Nanderin. I am so tired of shielding. I haven’t seen my DC and GC for a year. They live too far away to come for quick visits. 2019 was taken up with chemo and last year with Covid.
I am not prone to wallowing but really struggling today.

BlueSky Fri 01-Jan-21 17:57:19

Most of you are now feeling like us long distance grans feel most of the time or at least, just now you feel like we did when our children and grandchildren first moved away. But in your case it will change sooner rather than later, and you’ll get back to normal while in our case we had to get used to the new situation and try and make the most of it.

dragonfly46 Fri 01-Jan-21 18:08:30

You are right BlueSky and I feel for those whose DC live abroad.

Dorsetcupcake61 Fri 01-Jan-21 18:20:01

I have felt rather down for just under a week now. Personally nothing has changed. I suspected I would miss by my grandchilderen birthdays that are in January and February. I'm used to being a distance grandmother. I have a secure roof over my head etc. My daughters are safe and physically well although emotionally finding it hard. I'm lucky in that I've not lost anyone close to covid. I have much to be grateful for.
Despite all that I feel tearful at the slightest thing and cant be bothered to do the crafts/activities that have so far engaged me.
I dont know quite what triggered it,maybe the feeling that despite what we have been through so far we seem in an even worse position. All the parts are there to make the situation better but it doesnt feel like they will ever come together.

GagaJo Fri 01-Jan-21 18:42:59

Thanks Luckygirl. I appreciate it.

avitorl Fri 01-Jan-21 20:28:06

Wellbeck, that quote from A Street Cat named Bob is so true.Animals can bring so much comfort to those of us alone.
I think I,and probably a lot of us,hoped 2020 would see and end to our problems and 2021 would be a new beginning but there still seems so much more to come before life is back to anything like normal.Hopefully we will be able to shake off our sadness once this "festive "season is done and we will find strength to get through the next few months together.

Iam64 Fri 01-Jan-21 21:33:29

I feel similar to others, it’s feeling like Groundhog Day. My spirits were cheered by News of the vaccine but reports from medics in the London hospitals are frankly scary.
Keep safe everyoneand carry on supporting each other

NotTooOld Fri 01-Jan-21 21:48:57

I'm the same. Up one day and down the next. Felt elated when the Oxford vaccine was cleared but down again now with all the new cases and deaths announced and stories abounding that vaccine deliveries could be delayed for months. My dd lives in the SE and is not coping all that well. If the dgc's school closes she will be very stressed as she is trying to work from home and finds it impossible if the children are around needing help with their school work. We have seen none of them since March and live too far away to be of any real help. As others have said, it is much worse this time around with the winter weather and no prospect of being in the garden. Hobbies have all lost their appeal. Oh well, it must have been worse for our parents in WW2. At least we have no bombs dropping on us.

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 02-Jan-21 08:23:26

Avitor1 I have two rescue cats and as you say I think they have rescued me over the past nine months! Several times I have wondered how different it would have been without them. Despite distanced visits and video calls etc I think the presence of another living creature to cuddle and yes talk to has been so important.
Nottoold your comments about the war made me think too. From the beginning there feels as if this has been compared,maybe in an attempt to promote the unity and resilience that got people through those years.
My mother was born in 1932 and my dad in 1924 so often heard about their perspectives as well as Aunts and Uncles. On the one hand the constant feeling of bombs could drop at any time,the fear of gas attacks,losing homes,losing loved ones and worrying about what was happening to those fighting. The increasingly deprivation and drudgery of having to make do and mend. Life was incredibly hard on the Home Front. I remember being surprised at how long rationing went on for.
People have said at the beginning of this that no one is being asked to fight,just stay indoors and watch TV, well unless you are a frontline worker.
Wars and pandemics are both destructive. For me it has often crossed my mind that despite all the awful things that were happening during the last war you still had physical contact with people. There were times when you could gather together and celebrate and mourn however minimally.
I'm pretty self contained and dont mind living alone. I'm high risk if I catch the virus.
I think Christmas, however well people managed it highlighted the isolation. I put up my decorations at the end of November and initially did get pleasure from them. The vaccines gave us hope but the current situation is diminishing it.
We knew the winter months would be hard,the new strains have added to it. During the first lockdown there genuinely felt a sense of all being in this together. Whether it's true or not we seem fragmented into those who carry on with little regard to others and those that are feeling increasingly isolated in their attempts to protect themselves or others. The great British spirit at times seems rather lacking.
All we can do is carry on and hope for the best and recognise the impact this may be having on us despite on the face of it having blessings to count.
I have felt in a state of almost inertia for a week. I've forced myself to do the basics. I normally leave my Christmas decorations up until 12th night,loving the glow of the lights. Today they will come down,sadly I think this year they are a reminder of what wasnt.

NotTooOld Sat 02-Jan-21 18:40:35

The vaccines gave us hope but the current situation is diminishing it.
That's exactly how I feel, Dorset. We had real hope for perhaps two days and then suddenly it is gone. If we only get one jab and are only partially protected what good is that? We'll still be stuck at home worried about going out or seeing people.
I mustn't complain, others are much worse off than me but to be without hope is very hard. Not seen the dgc since January, hobbies all now seem pointless, weather is bad.....omg, must pull myself together.

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 02-Jan-21 19:20:16

I think nottoold it's a cumulative affect of broken promises, incompetence and lack of leadership as well. I remember when they announced the vaccine a part of me was wondering if they would make a mess of that too,but felt I was being negative. Hmm! Theres a very good thread on the vaccine and the potential problems if they start messing around with timings etc. I do have the opportunity to have it via the care home I still am employed by but I'm not going to, I will wait and see what happens.!
I last saw my grandsons briefly in August. One will be five on january,the other 2 in February. The chances of seeing them before late Spring is probably zero.
I too spent a lot of time very happily occupied but the past week just seem to have drifted and watched tv. Today I made myself change the routine. I took down all the cards and decorations apart from the tree which will do tomorrow. That few hours distraction really helped me out of doldrums.
I think up until Spring is going to be hard.
I think things are made much worse by a moronic government who just chop and change by the day. Yes it's an unprecedented situation but how we are viewed by other countries is a total embarrassment. I think the latest schools fiasco is a bit of a turning point,people are getting angry.
Sadly all we can do is keep on carrying on and support those close to us. Living on my own it used to be a habit to turn on radio/tv. Sometimes I still do. On the whole when the news is very depressing or conflicting I have found it best to be extremely selective and only listen to podcasts and check one reliable news source a day. It really does help. We will get through this, things will improve, probably when the weather improves. Until then we are just going to have to stay safe and hold on to that last bit of resolve and strength💐