Nursery or not ?

Lucca, pay no heed - of course you're right to ask for advice. My three-year-old grandson has been at nursery throughout this whole pandemic - and to be honest, he is the kind of child who really needs that kind of routine and structure in his life. He lives with us (and my son, his daddy, who is a key worker) and we love him to bits, but he is a very active child who really needs to be around others and have the kind of interaction at nursery that, with the best will in the world, we simply cannot provide at home. It's easy for people like Hetty to be judgemental, but a situation like this can only be judged by those directly affected by it - the parents (and grandparents) of the child involved.

JenniferEccles, I think, unfortunately, under current circumstances, schools are unlikely to reopen soon.

Any 'further lockdown measures' could well include nurseries closing too (except for key workers/vulnerable).

I just can't see how things will improve any time soon.

I have every sympathy with parents trying to work from home now that schools have closed again for most children.

I would say yes send him. It’s not all the week after all and it would give the parents a chance to get on with work unhindered.

Hopefully schools will be the first sectors to reopen before too long.

My GS is 4 years old and usually goes to nursery/pre school 3 days a week. His father is working ft from home; his mum is working 3 days a week as a paediatric nurse. GD, aged 8 is currently home schooling and is being supervised by her father. Nursery/pre school is shut. Because father isn't able to work ft, supervise GD and care for 4 year old, I have him those 3 days, whilst working pt myself. I'm exhausted by the end of the 3rd day (sorry Hetty, I'm just an ordinary human) because GS is never still and needs constant stimuli; he misses his friends and the interaction with his little friends. If pre school was to open tomorrow, I'd take him myself!

My gs asked when can we see real people again?

Thank you grannyrebel

My little GS aged 2 has gone back to nursery and he loves it. It's so good for them, they do things in nursery that you would never do at home. Plus they learn how to socialise and the discipline needed for when they start school. When my daughter and husband were looking after him and his older sister during lockdown 1 they found it virtually impossible as both have responsible jobs. So I say yes send him and when they only go part time they have the best of both worlds.

Larry, that’s a good point, normally mums would be doing all kinds of activities with their tots, but you’re right, they could go months without seeing another child now,

Hetty58

kircubbin2000, now I'm wondering how on Earth I managed to drag up four kids, nurse a sick husband, study and work - all at the same time - I must have been Superwoman!

Yes, you obviously were hetty.

My grandson was with a childminder for 3 days a week and started nursery school last week. Dd is a teacher and sil works for the fire service so both key workers. He needs the company of other children before he starts school in September.

What has to be remembered is that if a toddler is at home there would no interaction with other children as there is nowhere to go as everything is closed.

I would think it would be best for most children to go to preschool.

One of our children had this dilemma, a 3 year old due to start her2 days a week last week. Mum at home on maternity leave so can have us as support bubble. She decided not to send her at the moment as she would rather have her support bubble than send her and risk us being infected. I did point out to her that even if she doesn’t start til September she will still have a full year there before starting reception.

Some may have been able to manage in times gone by but they didnt have computers/laptops recording when they were working or the pleasure of multiple Zoom meetings whilst trying to pacify a toddler

To the other posters. There is another child in the house too by the way, slightly older and more able to do stuff on her own.

Hetty your posts made me wish I had never thought to ask for advice, have made me feel more anxious than I did before not to mention clearly hugely inferior.

PECS
I think we all started with the best of intentions, Joe Wix every morning, long walks, baking, school work of course, but this time, it seems really hard, the children are really hard to motivate, the weather is horrible, it seems ages since they have seen their friends, and it’s ages since I’ve seen mine! My daughter is a great mum, but you can’t be all things to all people all of the time, something is bound to suffer

Hetty58 your comments made me feel you were being smug. Bully for you for being so amazing!

I had a f/t job, was doing my MA and running a home with 2 kids. My partner was also working out of the house f/t and 6days a week. it was a stressful time..we did it..but it was hardwork.
However, I was not also trying to get my kids to learn, not worrying about elderly vulnerable relatives, not anxious that if I get Covid who will do all the stuff I do because I can't just ask my friend to help etc etc. A large number of families are under a lot of additional pressure at the moment and life is no way the same as when I was raising my kids.

Even if they were my children, and I could be a lot more disciplined, I’d still hate it

Hetty, I don’t disagree in principle, but trust me, in practice it’s exhausting, maybe if they were my children I’d run a much tighter ship, but they’re my grandchildren and that makes it a bit harder.

Hetty58

kircubbin2000, now I'm wondering how on Earth I managed to drag up four kids, nurse a sick husband, study and work - all at the same time - I must have been Superwoman!

Oh, for heaven's sake, you clearly did not literally manage to do all of those things at the same time. That would have been physically impossible, and to claim otherwise is clearly ridiculous

I presume that what you really mean is that you were able to juggle your responsibilities. Well good for you, but no one else has the job you had (one that clearly could be abandoned at a moment's notice), or any other identical circumstances, so any supposed comparison is meaningless.

Three of my kids are managing working from home plus children (two have two and the other has three).

Luckily, they all have WFH partners to help out, take turns - or take over. It was easier in the summer, of course.

Both my daughters are key workers and could use nurseries, but prefer not to. Right now, the risks of transmission and uncertainties of possible closure and/or quarantine are too great.

Sara1954, I do recognise the 'used to having attention all the time' thing with my grandchildren - and I disapprove, too

When they stay, in normal times, there's a shocked reaction to:

'I'll be with you in ten minutes'

Then 'I'm bored, what do I do while I'm waiting?'

(ask a silly question...) 'Run around the garden fifty times!'

Having constant attention and direction from an adult limits them, of course, almost as much as neglect. Their creativity and self reliance suffer accordingly.

Tanith
Completely agree, I guess it’s possible to do your work, supervise homeschooling (in our case one very reluctant) entertain a toddler, plus all the other stuff that needs doing.
But nothing is done properly, and at the end of the day, everyone is fraught, little has been achieved and the house is a tip!

One of my GrtGDs has been at nursery as Mum is working from home but she’s twice been sent home to isolate because someone tested positive. It’s almost impossible to do Mums days work while trying to keep little one occupied. I’m sure she’s not the only one struggling.

Hetty58

kircubbin2000, now I'm wondering how on Earth I managed to drag up four kids, nurse a sick husband, study and work - all at the same time - I must have been Superwoman!

Well clearly you are. Congratulations.

MamaCaz

Lucca

Hmm. A tad judgmental maybe ?

More than just a tad, I would have said!

Thank you !