Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

That is so funny, sevenkidsnotv ?

Many years ago I was an Avon lady, I was doing my round with my eldest daughter, then aged about 1 year old. I called in to a customer who asked to see the lipstick samples, My daughter was sat on a bean bag on the floor being entertained by the lady's husband while I went through the samples with his wife.
My Daughter was very well behaved and I could hear the husband saying 'Thank-you' 'Thank-you, as he played with my daughter.
When I got up to leave, the husband saw me to the door, watched me put daughter in her pram , then said ' I think these are yours, and gave me a handful of Lil-lets tampons. My daughter had taken the box out of my handbag while I was busy and handed them to him one at a time, hence all the thank-you's.
I took them and put them in my pocket, I think that my face was redder than the lipstick as I left.

I've just remembered an incident that happened back in the days when we lived on the canals.

There had been a violent incident on the canal towpath one night involving a group of drunken/drugged-up youths.
OH was injured, and the next day, a police officer came to the boats to take the details.
While the policeman was sitting inside, asking questions and taking notes, DS1, age 4, was quietly playing in the corner with some plastic farm animals.

During a short pause, DS1 suddenly grunted then announced loudly and clearly for all to hear: "There's a pig in here!"

After a moment of shocked silence, we tried to assure the PC that it was pure coincidence, that he was only playing with his toys, and had certainly never heard us or anyone else call the police 'pigs' (which was true), but I don't think he believed us.

Talk about embarrassing!

But guess what profession our son went into as an adult. I'll give you a clue - it wasn't a farmer ?

I was 18 and boyfriend 20(now DH) were invited to his uncles flat in London. We live in the sticks in a very small town.
Before we went Dhs father said watch out they do things different down there.??
We arrived at the flat and the uncle said I'll introduce you to the flatmate below as we were all going to a party later.
He walked into the flat and opened the bedroom door and introduced us to this man who was smoking in bed.
Lying next to a naked lady.

At the party later we were served stuffed baked blackbirds.

Uncle and his mate were drunk and each brought a lady home.

Thank goodness we were only there for 3 nights. This was over 40 years ago.

The funniest part was the uncle and his mate became a couple.

In the 70s during the troubles we invited 2 officers for a meal.They arrived with their bodyguard who sat in the other room. Before we sat down one of them went into the kitchen and seemed to be snooping in the cupboards. I asked him what he was doing and he replied that he was looking for somewhere to hide the guns as it wouldn't be right to wear them during their visit. Eventually he found a basket of carrots under the sink and the guns were hidden away.

This happened to a friend of mine.....
He worked for a company that rented out tv sets, and he was the repair man. He went to a really run down house which has several tenants. When he knocked on the door someone shouted for him to go in. The man and woman were in the bed. She got out of the bed, went over to the part where the sink and cooker were, put the kettle on, then picked the dirty cups off the table, swilled them under the tap, gave them a shake, put them back on the table. Started to slice the loaf, put margarine on,then jam. Made the tea, then took a cup over to my friend who was busy taking the back off th tv (This was long ago, when tv's were huge square things) then she gave him a jam sandwich. John didn't like to say no, but the place was filthy, and the couple were very rough, so he said thanks, and carried on working. When he finished he put the sandwich into the back of the tv and left as quickly as he could. He said that he would rather leave the job than go back there again.

This happened at my aunt and uncles house, and I was never allowed to forget it. We were having tea when there was a knock at the door. I jumped off my chair, ran behind the settee and stage-whispered,"Sh, be quiet and hide, it's the rent man. My aunt delighted in telling everyone about it for years. I must have been about 3 at the time. My mother was furious.

Love it LadyJus! Out of the mouth of babes eh?
?

My darling Sis-in-law’s first introduction to my parents is still talked about at family gatherings. Mum and Dad and I had been to a party and come home a bit squiffy, it had started at 2pm, so by the time we came home at 8/9ish we decided to have another drink at home and stuck on some music. My gran had given dad a ridiculous silky housecoat thing for Christmas and when my brother brought his new girlfriend in to meet the fam (he didn’t know we’d been at the party) they walked in to my dad wearing a red satin housecoat singing Delilah at the top of his lungs into the hoover attachment (his microphone) with mum and I doing backing vocals. My brother was mortified! She still laughs about it to this day and says she knew exactly what she was getting into from the first meeting!

My aunt, probably called a 'maiden' aunt in those days, lived in an area where relatives, friends and neighbours just called around to borrow something or have a chat. No locked doors then or phones to forewarn people. Her younger favourite brother, glamorous bubbly wife, and family had recently rented a house in the next road and my aunt had taken to popping round. I was visiting her one Sunday when I was about eleven years old and about 10.30am she decided to go to see her brother. We got there to see the children quietly eating breakfast or reading books. 'Where are your Mum and Dad? she asked. 'In bed' came the reply. My aunt was scandalized. 'Go and wake them up.' The elder children looked at each other and didn't move but a younger one shouted up to them. Ten minutes later uncle's wife appeared. 'How can you sleep until this time?' my aunt said. At the time I didn't understand the reply and the twinkle. 'We weren't sleeping' she said. Aunt left without another word, taking me with her. They moved to another house quite a distance away a few weeks later.

At the age of 6, I embarrassed my mother by answering the door to a neighbour by saying "mummy said she hoped it isn't you and it is"!

Here's a second-hand one:

When my OH was a young man, he took a girlfriend back to his house for the first time. They walked into the living room to find his dad on his hands and knees in front of the fire wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. He was drying his hair in the heat of the fire.

Said girlfriend, I am told, was rather bemused to meet her boyfriend's father's backside before she met him face-to-face ?

OH's dad wasn't the least bit embarrassed, and just turned his head to say a cheery hello then carried on drying his hair. (I never knew him, but apparently he was quite a character.

My mother had a cousin who lived in Wales. It meant that we never met and the only contact was Christmas cards and very occasional letters. One day my mother had a phone call from her cousin asking if her daughter could have a bed for the night and a bite to eat as she had to come to London for a meeting. The room was prepared and a meal was underway when the daughter arrived and said "Had you forgotten I'm a vegetarian?" No my mother hadn't forgotten - no one had ever bothered to mention it. It was in the days when shops closed at 5.30 so she was reduced to borrowing a cauliflower from a neighbour and making cauliflower cheese. She was not happy and the visit wasn't repeated.

Many years ago I was moveing and had to rent my house out. A family with two small children contacted me to say they were interested and would like to view it. I arranged a time to meet the lady and her little girls with her husband comeing to join us a bit later. Whilst waiting for him we sat chatting about their move etc. Time seemed to be getting on so at some point I glanced out of the window to see a much older man walking towards the house! Can you believe I said ‘oh I didn’t know your dad was comeing to look as well! Yes dear readers, it wasn’t her dad it was her husband!!

This wasn't an uncomfortable experience in someone else's house. It was an uncomfortable experience in My house. I invited a couple of younger work colleagues to my house for tea. They arrived and after I had answered the door they followed me into the kitchen for a glass of wine and so that I could carry on cooking. After a while I noticed one of them (an American) was missing. I just assumed she'd gone to use the downstairs loo. But no. She'd taken herself off to roam around my house, upstairs and downstairs, totally without my knowledge. I only realised when she reappeared back in the kitchen and proceeded to tell me what she did and didn't like about my house! Not only was I angry at her cheek I felt violated by her complete disregard of my privacy. The meal was quickly eaten and I feigned a headache to get them out of the house. I could never get over my anger at her rudeness and rightly or wrongly I can't stand Americans because of her!

You are making me laugh!
My DB's wedding at Easter in Denmark. His DW-to-be asked various friends to put up her DH to-be's relations and we, with our 3 small boys were billeted with a family who had 2 boys the same ages as ours.
It was a small house, bitterly cold outside and generally very noisy.
Our hostess was working over the weekend as she was a vicar. She also wasn't feeling well and I was rather glad when it was time for us to leave and drive to the ferry as I realised it was quite a big ask. Away we went with lots of waving and happy smiles.

Our car broke down on the way to the ferry.

What to do? There were no garages open and nothing could be done until the following Wednesday. We drove back and sheepishly knocked on the door.
Thinking we had forgotten something their jaws dropped when they realised we were set to stay for another 3 days.
The boys were happy though and she became a Bishop!!

We were at the funeral of a very good friend’s mum. Everyone there was pretty ancient , and there weren’t enough seats at the wake, so being youngest in our sixties we stood. My husband was leaning against the window sill, when suddenly we smelt burning and the fire alarm went off. My husband had leaned against a tea light and set his suit jacket alight. Fortunately , our good friends forgave him.

I was asked by a friend if I wanted to come to her house to play. She hadn't asked before so I eagerly said yes.
She said not to stare as it was always a bit untidy, and yes, it was certainly that, with old newspapers piled almost to the ceiling. But what was worse was the strong smell of urine that nearly knocked me sideways as we walked in. My friend seemed oblivious to this and we set about comparing Beatles versus Monkees records.
After a while I was nearly passing out with the aroma and must have looked a bit iffy as my friend said did I want some pop? We went into her kitchen and there, draped over the open gas oven door, which was lit,was the most enormous pair of pantaloons I'd ever seen, nearly ready for their second or even third wearing.

We were invited to some friends' house to see their slides of a trip to India. We did not realise that the invitation included food, so we ate before we left, only to find ourselves presented with a full home-cooked Indian meal when we arrived!

Now my OH always fell asleep after eating (he had been known to fall forward with his head in the custard!) so when the lights went out and the slides started I was on the alert - I spent the whole evening poking him in the dark to stop him snoring!

I had met my boyfriend’s parents a few times but on one occasion I was sitting chatting to bf and his mum when a bald man I didn’t recognise appeared from upstairs. My face must have registered my confusion because my bf whispered that his dad had had sunstroke very badly a few years previously and that since then he usually wore a toupee. I honestly hadn’t recognised him without his hair!

DH and I were invited to dinner at friends home. She and her husband were good friends but we’d never been invited to dinner before.
We were greeted at the door and she had uncooked potatoes and a pot in her hand. She asked if we wanted 1 or 2 potatoes. They were small potatoes and my husband could have eaten all the potatoes himself. I had 2 tiny potatoes, a tiny slice of salmon with a slice of lemon and 6 string beans. The starter was a thin slice of melon and pudding was the fruit bowl. After coffee she passed around a box of chocolates - one each of course. On our journey home we had fish and chips. Our friends always eat a decent amount at our home and still do. We haven’t returned to their home although we’ve been invited.

Best Gransnet thread ever! Thank you MissA

At our wedding reception in a Countryside restaurant, my husband's family were seated closely on a Horseshoe shaped table configuration for the Wedding breakfast, a Three course meal. My sister in law say in the middle of a row of three, her husband to her left, and her brother in law, who had a bit of a reputation at becoming a Ladies man after he had been drinking to her Right. Everything was proceeding smoothly, and the speeches were about to start, when she suddenly stood up and shouted at her Brother in law to Keep his hands to himself' with a few swear words thrown in for good measure! Her husband however could not stop laughing, he had known for sometime that the restaurant owners Dog had taken up residence under the long white tablecloths, and as busily sniffing out any scraps of spilt or dropped food that may come his way!
Sister in law had probably dropped some crumbs onto her lap, and Dog stuck his nose up her short skirt trying to retrieve them, which she mistook for her Brother in law trying to get 'Fresh and Frisky' with her, like he had done before when he was drunk a few weeks earlier!

A friends father was a GP. Much to his annoyance he got a call late one evening. He eventually found the right flat and hammered on the door. Someone answered and in he strode. There were 3 people watching the TV. 'Right , we will have this off! ' he said loudly switching off the telly and then asked who was the patient. At that point he realised he was in the wrong flat!!

My parents had gone out leaving the eldest to babysit. She invited a load of friends to the house for a party. My parents arrived home early and everyone scattered everywhere. After a telling off, my dad went out to get coal from the brick bunker in the back garden for the fire. He kept hearing a yelp everytime he rammed the long handled shovel in the little opening at the front of it. Then this poor guy finally squeezed himself out, wearing what had been a lovely pair of white jeans. My dad's face was a picture.