Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

In my teens I lived in a house with an L shaped Living room with half of it out of view from entry. Thinking no one was in, I came downstairs, naked, looking for some clean underwear which was in the living room in the ironing basket. It was until I stepped in the room and turned the corner that I saw my dad with a very young and handsome colleague of his looking over some papers. Needless to say Dad wasn’t too happy.

My husband and I were invited to a Chinese meal in the best restaurant in China Town in Newcastle by his Boss and his charming wife. We'd never eaten Chinese, but were impressed by the very hot lazy Susan in the centre of the table, which we turned to help ourselves. I have no idea how it happened, but as I picked up my wine glass, the lazy Susan swung and trapped my fore finger - as it was so hot, my kneejerk reaction was to get my finger out, which resulted in me flinging the glass of wine all over the Boss's wife! Mortified!

Many years ago I was at my my boyfriend's house which I visited regularly and always got on well with his parents. At some point whilst I was in the same room as them they started to argue and when things got heated the husband slapped his wife. I was quite mortified but couldn't escape as they were between me and the door. Eventually I got out and went home. The incident was never mentioned again!

Hope this is allowed as it wasn’t in someone’s home but a very posh and famous seaside hotel. I was there at residential managers conference with a couple of hundred others and at lunch time my friend an I walked through and around the substantial dining room to find some colleagues and an appropriate place for us all to sit. Unfortunately my friend had started the day with reel of cotton to complete a small repair and had tucked it in her pocket, but the end had worked its way loose and as we had moved around the tables and other delegates, it had created a huge but very fine tapestry. It took the sour faced waiters and other guests some time to clear it all. Sadly we weren’t very helpful as we were too busy laughing.

Soon after my second marriage, I invited the hospital chaplain to dinner. We had moved in the meantime and he had not been to the new house, nor had he met my husband.

About 3/4 hour after the time he was supposed to arrive, the doorbell rang and there he was, dripping wet from the storm that was going on.

He had gone to the wrong house, where the husband was in the kitchen cooking the evening meal and his wife was in the bath upstairs. The neighbour thought that maybe his wife had invited him and had forgotten to tell him. He gamely added to the meal to stretch it out and plied the priest with sherry (to which he was not averse). It was not until his wife came downstairs that the mistake was realised. Poor soul had then walked a couple of hundred yards in the pouring rain as he had not realised how far away our house was.

Ever since then, I have felt I owed several glasses of sherry to my neighbours who, luckily, were amused rather than annoyed.

When I first met my future mil, she invited me to lunch on a Saturday. now I knew she regularly went to bingo and so was a bit nervous thinking that she'd given up her afternoon. When I arrived she'd put on a lovely spread and had a beautiful hand embroidered cloth on the table. She told me she'd make the tea, if I'd just put milk in the cups and yes you've got it, I knocked the whole milk jug over. Luckily just over the cloth and not the food. I told my now husband to please say he'd done it. We did tell her years later what had happened.

My incident took place in the house I grew up in when I was staying in uni holidays. The bathroom was at the back of the house on the ground floor beyond the kitchen having been built there to free up another room upstairs for a bedroom after my brother was born. It was qute a small room with a sliding door which took up less space but the lock was not very effective. It was late evening and I was getting ready for bed. I'd got undressed upstairs then came down to use the loo. Whilst I was in there my brother and his friend arrived home after an evening in the pub. His friend needed the bathroom and walked straight in while I was sat on the loo. Instead of shutting the door immediately he stood appearing transfixed, staring at me probably significantly under the influence. Obviously I was incredibly embarrassed but the worst part was not being able to get to bed without going through the room where I knew he'd be waiting as I assumed he still needed to go! Needless to stay I was in the bathroom for a very long time!

Went to ex's house one Saturday morning. Both of us still teens, both living with parents. His mother, on opening the door, told me to go and waken him as he wasn't up yet. Pretty pissed off as this was a regular occurrence, me getting up early and walking the two miles to his every Saturday to find him still in his stinking pit, I bounded up the stairs, burst through his bedroom door crying, "get up you lazy **!" The tousled head of his visiting aunt rose from beneath the bedclothes with a, "Eh? Wha...? What's goinon?" He was sharing with his brother for the duration of her visit and was wetting himself behind his brother's bedroom door! Nobody thought to tell me this! Arses, the lot of them!

My mum loved entertaining and was quite the " Hyacinth Bouquet " when visitors arrived looking forward to the delights of her home-baking etc.
On the sideboard were the desserts including a large trifle.

During the course of the gatherings when conversations flowed, the cat had jumped onto the sideboard and was making short work of the cream on the trifle. I let out a laugh and was about to point it out when mum directed everyone's eyes towards the window to how we might have holly berries on the flourishing tree by winter time ?

While everyone was busy looking out of the window near to the porch, she whipped up the trifle and hurtled into the kitchen to re-arrange the cream and add a few more iced flowers.
Her excuse being she was keeping an eye on the oven.

Meal finished and it was dessert time. I didn't want any trifle and an aunt chipped in and asked if I'd lost my appetite. Mum gave me the " don't you dare " face so I had a chunk of Bakewell tart and custard instead. I hadn't fancied the trifle after the cat had been at it but I had the giggles all night thinking about the others.

Well, it wasn't in a house as such, but in the Academy of Music when I was sixteen.

I discovered the hard way that the lock on the toilet door was defective. Another student opened the door and caught me enthroned and changing a sanitary towel!

We were both horribly embarrassed.

In the 60s and at a party, mainly emergency services staff. Had suffered a slight injury to my hand and didn't have any rings on. Found this young medic who was rather attractive always turning up in front of me or joining in conversations etc. Early hours and folk were disappearing. This young man came up and asked if he could drive me home. Not having a car I jumped at the chance. His face when I asked him to wait whilst I rounded up my husband was a picture.

My mother suggested I brought my new boyfriend home to meet the family.

Mum had excelled herself and brought in a tea trolley laden with homemade goodies and the best China tea set.

Cakes and tea distributed my Dad began to talk to b/f who had just raised his cup of tea to his lips. He held the cup and answered my Dad and then his cup, full of scalding tea, fell off its handle and deposited its contents all over b/f's crotch!!

Pandemonium reigned!

Rather snooty sister in law called in our house and proceeded to ask my 11 year old daughter 20 questions.....school work, behaviour etc. After a while she retreated upstairs.

Came down half an hour later and shouted on top of her voice -HAS SHE GONE YET?
I sat there red faced wishing the floor would eat me up!

That has really made me laugh today ?

We were asked for Sunday dinner to friends and took our huge Pyrenean Mountain dog with us. As we sat eating our starter the dog came out of the kitchen carrying the leg of lamb which was the main course ...!!!!!!
(Funny thing, years later my husband ran off with the hostess ...!!!) ???

When I was a child I was none verbal. I remember going to visit a Muslim family with a family member. They were all very traditional Muslims and the father was head of the table, the mother served food and as we sat I turned to ask my family member something in sign language. I remember been suddenly startled when the father shouted over the table to tell me to stop flapping my hands around or I'd knock something off. My family attempted to explain that I couldn't speak, trying to explain selective mutism to them. The father seemed to think that if my family were stricter with me and stopped me flapping my hands around and insisted I spoke I would talk. Needless to say we left there and then, but were invited in by the man's brother who lived down the road. A lovely man we have stayed friends with for a lot of years. It turned out he'd attempted to explain my condition to his brother prior to our meal hoping he'd understand and accept it. But by explaining that ai may speak in the future when I had dealt with certain traumas and felt able to. His brother had gotten it into his head that I could control it.

The second was a little funnier but again centred around my speech. I went to a friend's after school one day and his dad had asked why I signed and used a pen and paper (my friend only understood limited signs). My friend told his dad I was non verbal, his dad suddenly raised his voice very loud, assuming that I couldnt hear. Both me and friend had burst into laughter. His dad was very embarrassed but at least saw the funny side. Once he realised I could understand as much as most people he was great and we laughed about it for years to come. He would always greet me by shouting "Hello MamaB247" at the top of his voice.

One of DH's colleagues invited us to their house for dinner. The wife had made Chilli con carne - quite exotic for the late 1960's. We sat for a long time after the main course talking while I felt more and more uncomfortable. The red kidney beans had obviously not been soaked/cooked for long enough. As they left to go and get the dessert DH confessed he was also feeling really ill. Both felt embarrassed at the thought of throwing-up in their bathroom. Just as the hosts appeared with the creamiest dessert ever we both got up apologising and made some excuse about having to get up early next morning. Just about made it home! We never saw them socially again.

When I was about 8 I had a friend who lived opposite us and went to her house one day and her mum, a large lady was chasing her son around the house as he’d stolen her secret stash of sweets which I found a bit strange. She kept on chasing him around and then her skirt dropped down and she had no knickers on. I never saw her in the same light again. She was the local Avon lady too.

Live7
I’ve felt embarrassed for the host on the few occasions when I reluctantly had to use their loos. Untidy it’s not the word, personal items left around, bath water left in the bath, etc etc and I’m not the tidiest of people.

Many years ago, I went to my friend’s house for a meal she was cooking me a special meal as a thank you for something.

Her Husband was from Nigeria ( I think) she severed the meal and explained everyone eat from the same bowl with their fingers. I felt awkward but respected their culture even when the child spat food back into the serving bowl.

All the way through the evening her husband kept touching me, little things like walking past me putting his arms around my waist to push past when there was loads of room. Putting his hand on my leg in conversation so on.

When I left, they insisted on him giving me a lift he pulled up in a lay by and made a move on me. He could not understand my upset he said it was his cultural and his wife respected that and was cool with it. He was somewhat insistent so I got out and walked he called me a crazy lady.

I was young and didn’t know what to do so I ghosted my friend which is something always regret and hate that I hurt her, but at the time I was so upset I didn’t know what to do.

I have never visited anyone home alone again.

At a meal with people in the 80s we vaguely knew, a group of about 8 if us and some of ladies started talking about perfume they liked. One more elderly lady said oh I was bought a lovely one .. whats it called? Oh yes, Anus Anus. (She meant Anais Anais) I think we were so shocked no one said anything and don't know how I didn't laugh. But we've made up for it afterwards!

Thank you Miss A. My mood has certainly lifted.
I remember once I was invited to a rugby 'do' with my then current boyfriend who I really liked. I had bought a new outfit and was really really pleased with myself.. I was quite young and naive when it came to posh dining and when our starters arrived I picked up the sugar sprinkler thinking it was salt and sprinkled my dish. Of course I ate it!
Another awfully embarrasing incident was when I went to visit a male friend and we had some drinks and food and I was sick in his kitchen sink - full of washing up.

Me and an friend once went to call for a male friend of ours (we were 17/18) and his Mother was running round the outside of the house with no clothes on! I had forgotten all about this until I read your post. He came to the door too and we never mentioned his MOther

After marrying in the early 70’s I joined my new husband on the military base in Germany, he was the station Padre.
One of the first functions we were invited to was a buffet supper at the Station Commanders, I was terrified as this was a completely new environment, and very formal.
My new husband was busy chatting, when I noticed that he had leaned back........and sat in a trifle!
His suit jacket had a very creamy frill, I was both mortified and helplessly trying not to laugh.

Oh Petunia, I’m howling at your account, especially the third tale of taking out the stitches of a new mother. I can imagine that window cleaner regaling his mates at the pub of how he saw you with your head between the other woman’s legs ?