Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

I have had an uncomfortable moment in my own house, fortunately with family close enough to be forgiven - my DS and DIL. They were staying for Christmas, and brought their young cat with them. We were in the middle of the full works of Christmas dinner when the cat wandered into the dining room, sat on the large plant pot in the corner, did its business and started to spread the soil around the room like cat litter. All plants were covered up for the rest of the stay.

I was with my parents at their friends and was offered an apple from the bowl, something we did not have in our house. I ate most of it, but left quite a bit around the core. Put it down and said thank you. The host asked "is this how you are going to leave it" I meekly said yes not knowing exactly what he meant. His answer was "you will never have another apple in my house" I was mortified when I realised he thought I had wasted too much apple. to this day I eat the core and pips, everything but the stalk.

We were invited to a rather smart dinner party at my friends house, she asked to borrow some of my good cutlery as she only had 8 place settings & needed 12. Hubby & I enjoyed a delicious three course meal, expensive wines & after a couple of hours relaxing in the lounge I went into the kitchen & collected our cutlery from the dishwasher & quietly put it in my handbag.
On leaving the house with other guests my friends' elderly mother-in-law shouted "Stop that woman, she's stealing your silver!"

I often went to my school friend's house for tea, and on one particular occasion when I was about 14/15 she invited me while her big brother was home on leave from the navy.
He was so handsome, I was quite smitten. I was still in my school uniform which included brown lisle stckings and a suspender belt. Just as I sat down at the table one of my suspenders came undone with a loud "Ping"... The brother said "What was that?". My friend knew perfectly well what it was and laughed until she cried. I got up and went and hid in their toilet until my friend's mother came and rescued me. After that I refused to go to their house again whenever the brother was home on leave. Pity really, as he was gorgeous.

MissA. Thank you for your thread, it's certainly started my morning with a big smile.

Oh! This has been a joyful thread and I have been crying with laughter chewbacca and the family singing tunelessly around the piano and urmston and the board. Both so visual - I felt I was there with you.

Redhead Riverwalk

Derek Hatton was my first thought too lol
He did seem to have and go to a lots of parties
in his time.

On my first visit to meet my boyfriend's parents, I was given 'heart' to eat for dinner. Beforehand I had been asked if there was anything I didn't like and I had said 'liver'. Unfortunately, I didn't like heart either.

Thank you, MA. You deserve most of the credit for this joy. Many have contributed but...... you invited us to the party. Terrific!

There are some great comments on here. Made me laugh out loud.

Strange spectacle

Another one - we went to a party with some of DHs work colleagues and friend - posh flat in Islington, London. All is going well when the married male host who’s getting somewhat sozzled starts fondling a male guest -also married and a fairly well known academic at the time - he invited him to sit on his knee, telling him he’d always fancied him - well, the room went silent all eyes on this strange spect unfolding before us - we didn’t know whether it was a joke or what? Quietly everyone got their coats and went home.

This is my mother's story. When she was a little girl she and her mum went to visit a lady in a posh house. The lady gave my mother a raw carrot to eat! Mum would have preferred a cake. Anyway she did her best to eat it but found she couldn't swallow the chewed up carrot. She excused herself and went upstairs and spat the carrot behind the dressing table. For years she expected to be found out, but never was. Lol

When my daughter started school she made friends with another little girl and asked if her new friend could come round to play after school one day and stay for tea. As we arrived home and I opened the front door the little girl rushed in before me, snooped around the rooms and said, 'it stinks in here, I want to go home'. I marched her back home and told her mother she didn't want to stay because my house apparently smelt. She wasn't asked round again.

Our wealthy friends once invited us to dinner at an upmarket hotel. I sat opposite our host. When the food arrived it looked wonderful. The waiter put my plate in front of me and I put a forkful of the food in my mouth. It was burning hot, and blistered my mouth badly. Unfortunately because we were in a posh place with our generous friends I could not say anything. There was no water on the table so I had nothing to cool it with. I asked our host to request some water which he did , and when it arrived I was able cool my painful mouth with it. It was difficult making polite conversation and eating the now cooled food, which I could barely taste because of the pain.
I must have looked weird drinking gallons of water with every bite. Moral: always make sure the food you get is not boiling hot.

I had just qualified in my role and was doing home visits. The first few days were ok . I knocked on a house to take some details from an elderly man . His wife answered the door and I asked as I had done in all my previous home visits should I slip off my shoes ?
As soon as I was through the door I realised the error of my ways - the house was filthy. Sadly likewise the chair I was offered to make my notes. I took those out of the file and sat on my ringbinder . Lesson learnt , never take off your shoes for a 1st visit.

We were invited to my DHs work colleagues house for a meal. We had to be there for 4. I was recovering from a migraine and the house was stiflingly warm. Come 4pm and we were dished up a full 3 course meal of broccoli and stilton soup, followed by a roast with all the trimmings, followed by apple pie and custard. 2 courses in and I had to go outside to get air as my poor post migraine tummy wasn't happy! I lay down and stretched out in the dark on the decking with one hand in the cool water of the pond! I did survive the 3rd course and we found ourselves leaving at 9pm as the evening was over!

These are making me cry with laughing. We all need cheering up in these times.
I’ve a few. I went to visit my recently single brother and his newish girlfriend. I’d taken my elderly dog intending to walk her as afterwards. We’re all chatting away all getting on well over coffee and my dog walks into the middle of the living room circles around and does a great big poo on the carpet, new gf is trying to be nonchalant and cool about it whilst her eyes are popping out of her head. I hastily clean the poo up and we open the windows explaining that my elderly dog has incontinence problems. That was her introduction to our family - she didn’t last.

A work friend of my mums invited her and me us round for coffee - her husband was well known for being tight with money. She made us a drink and went through all this palava about measuring out the coffee and milk and talking through a dialogue of “right if I make you both a coffee with milk I’ll just have enough milk for Jim’s tea” Them she gave us half a scone each and again she talking through - “I’ve just got enough scones for everyone if James (son) doesn’t have one. Well by this time we hand our half a scones back feeling like we’d be depriving not only her husband of a cup of tea but her children of the scones and beat a hasty retreat.

On sunny weekends my DH was in the habit of announcing he wanted to have a BBQ and would invite all the neighbours - very often there was more liquid refreshment taken than food so the downstairs cloakroom was frequently engaged.

One rather inebriated neighbour said he was desperate and could he use our bathroom. After everyone had left and we were getting ready for bed we found the neighbour had mistaken the bath for the toilet and left an unwelcome deposit! I left DH to clear up the mess and thoroughly clean the bath and banned any future BBQ attendees from using the bathroom!

The owl story reminded me of when I took my new puppy to a big family gathering for a special occasion. Everyone cooed over him because he was so small and sweet. Then a cousin said loudly 'Oh listen to him trying to growl!' - but it wasn't the puppy growling it was an old aunty who couldn't breathe properly and I had to tell the cousin this in a quiet undertone.

In Primary School, my best friend was the headmaster's daughter.

I was at their house one day, and needed the loo. Their house had a dog leg staircase and at the top of the stairs, was a toilet.

I rounded the dog leg part of the staircase, to be confronted with the toilet door open, with MY HEADMASTER sitting on the loo, white pants around his knees, and reading a comic.

He just said "hellooooo" and shut the door.

I made an excuse and went home, and couldn't face him for months afterwards.

Grammaretto

*Kate*, your story reminds me of a time we were at a rather refined dinner party in a leafy suburb of Edinburgh. The hostess was the mother of a friend and her new husband was a retired professor.
During the delicious meal, I kept hearing an owl hooting and asked everyone to stop talking and listen.
There it goes again. Is it a tawny owl or a screech owl? Listen.
"I think it's my nose" said the elderly professor, and it was..

This has made my day.

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt uncomfortable in other people's houses and I really didn't like it when I was a child and my parents had visitors! It wasn't too unbearable with certain people (those I liked) but with others it was absolutely intolerable, and as a result, I was often badly behaved! I always knew I was different to other people, but I didn't find out exactly why until I had my own children! When my son was 7 (he's now nearly 26) he was diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome. The consultant who diagnosed him recognised the signs in me and suggested a website for me to look at. It took me right back to my childhood - a place I didn't want to revisit! At the time, I was attending a psychiatrist for depression, as my family had moved to a new area where I didn't know anyone - making friends has never been easy for me as I am not naturally sociable and rather introverted! I got a formal diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome and retrospective diagnosis of ADHD in 2004 - it explains a lot!

When I was fourteen, I was at my best friends house. At some point I went upstairs to go to the loo. When I came out her father lunged at me, pinned me up against the airing cupboard door and tried to kiss me. I repelled him, went downstairs, and nothing was ever said.

Another time my husband invited a young man he worked with to bring his wife for a light supper. We often had macaroni cheese for a light meal so I thought this would be easiest.
When I served it up they looked at it for a while then asked what it was.They had a taste then poked it round the plate and ate no more.