Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

Thought of another one.

In the early 60’s my aunt & her husband went to a very posh dinner doo. One of those ‘please be upstanding for’ and ‘a toast ... to ..’

Up & down like a yo-yo.

Of its time, she was wearing a maxi dress and a long set of beads which dangled to her waist.

After the last toast as she sat down, unbeknownst to her, her ‘pearls’ got snagged around the dish of prawn cocktail which had been placed in front of everyone earlier. It dragged the dish into her lap as she sat down and landed with a thump.

She looked around, no-one had noticed.

She looked down into her lap and there was the prawn cocktail dish sitting right side up! What were the odds?

She discreetly cupped her hands around it and picked up her fork ...

This thread is hilarious. Thank you all for telling your stories.

Urmstongran you've tickled me pink with the board story! So funny!

What a brilliant thread - haven’t laughed so much in ages !??

i knew a couple when i was young. looking back on it they were a little strange. she got married wearing black, and he refused to walk his sister down the aisle to her wedding, their father having died, on the grounds it was patriarchal. his sister not having their intellectual interests just felt rejected and didn't invite them to her wedding.
they also described themselves as being financially embarrassed, by which they meant, having an enormous income.
they once invited me to a meal where they served something that resembled horse fodder. the last time i saw them, she had invited me for sunday lunch in their new extensive flat in v expensive area. i arrived and they were lounging about. she idly started eating an apple and after a while asked me if i wanted one.
i was about to say i won't spoil my appetite but didn't. then they suggested a walk on the common, during which the man asked if they could drop me off anywhere.
i did wonder if it was some kind of psychological experiment to see how i reacted.

Hahahahaha, Urmston.

Love the board saga! Laughed so much I cried..

My friend had a really close family, and they all got together at her mums every christmas eve, and stayed for a few days, since her dad had died suddenly on the the 24th a few years before.

They all had a few drinks and my friend was woken up by her mum screaming in the night... "Michelle! Quick! Terry's in my room and he's got his thing out!"

Her husband was standing over her mum's face, thinking he was in the toilet..

Back in 1975 - There were were 23y old, married and wanting to sell our house & move. Estate agent comes round, measures up etc. Sits down in chair and asks questions, writing on a pad on a clipboard.

He looks up at me and says ‘I’ll have to have a board’.

Bit panicky I go into the kitchen where Himself had just put the kettle on and was setting out cups & saucers (to impress, we were young).

I say - ‘he says he needs a board!’.
Himself: what kind of a board?
Me: I don’t know he didn’t say
(We were whispering)
Himself: will this do d’you think? (holding up a laminate tray)
Me: well I don’t know. He said a BOARD.

Inspiration struck.
Husband slides the top board off the twin tub.
I think ‘clever man!’ Great idea.

We go back into the other room and as I enter first, Himself behind me with the Hotpoint board, the estate agent looks up and says ‘I was just saying to your wife I think a board in your front garden would help sell this house better as you are on a main road’ .....

MissAventure really enjoying this thread, thank you.

Invited to my fiance's house to celebrate the engagement with in-laws-to-be I threw up in their flower bed when I went out to get some air - I think a reaction to nerves/overheated room/too many scented do-das.

We lived on a narrowboat, and we were invited to some friends' house one evening. As they liked dogs, they said it was ok to take our young dog with us.
Faced with their huge (in comparison with the space she was used to on a narrowboat, anyway) hallway with a green carpet, our dog must have thought she was in a field, and crouched down to do what she usually did outdoors. Oops ?

God these are brilliant! Better than the tele.
Great thread!

Oh Berylsgranny! Bet you wished you’d stayed home.
?

Grammaretto ‼️
Truly that’s the best laugh I’ve had all day!
?

Long ago my ex husband and I had a couple of friends who had bought an old house which they were decorating.

We were given the royal tour round the house, room by room, ending up in the main bedroom, which was painted sludge white, so I brightly remarked 'It'll look lovely when it's painted', to which my friend responded - 'we finished painting this room yesterday'. We weren't invited back.

1. We had stayed two nights at my parents' house then went on to the inlaws. I was desperate to do some washing, but it was New Years' Day, so I wasn't allowed to. I was told it was bad luck. My FIL promised to put the washing machine on first thing in the morning. The water was too hot and my baby's clothes all shrank.
2. We were invited for "supper" with some lovely friends. DH made the arrangement and said we had been invited for a meal. We did not eat before we went out. We waited ages before any food was served. It was indeed a lovely " supper", fruit cake and cheese, but not the meal we were expecting. Ever since, I reject the use of the term "supper" for a main meal. It is too ambiguous.

River walk no it wasn’t that politician he wasn’t at that party.

Boyfriend number ones house again.
His little brother went in the loo after me and came out saying "Pwoar! It stinks in there!"

Yes, every time I went to my in laws!!

Fab thread MissA! Makes such a refreshing change.

Not in a house, but drs surgery, man complaining bitterly about everything, having to wait too long to be seen, pacing about complaining it was too cold in the surgery, magazines out of date and not to his liking, when he was eventually called into surgery, I remarked quietly to the woman sat next to me, glad I don’t have to go home to him, I do, she said, he’s my husband........ really didn’t know where to put myself

Great thread MissAdventure good to see something different and light hearted.

Redhead56

I was invited to a party hosted by quite a famous person who my husband knew through work. Most of the people there were involved in local politics it was Liverpool in the 1980s.

A lot of guests were smoking joints which I wasn’t particularly comfortable with. After a while the party got quieter and people were disappearing. It wasn’t until I went to find the loo I realised it was a party full of swingers. I quickly made an escape dragging my then husband with me.

Oh, don't be a tease - was it Derek Hatton?

I haven't laughed so much in ages. Keep up the good work Gransnetters.