Jealousy over daughter's financial situation

Well none of mine earn anything like those amounts, nor are they ever likely to.
They're all keyworkers doing vital jobs for the country, especially at this time.
I couldn't be more proud of them.

Gosh, my children both earn six figure sums a year and I feel nothing but pride that they are doing so well. I would assume that most parents would be happy if their children were doing well.
I don’t know what to advise OP, jealousy eats you up.

I totally understand how you feel, seems a natural reaction. I left home at 16, had absolutely nothing just got very ancient already worn out things. Went through some time of real hardship. Including getting battered. Then when remarried had some hard times financially, remember burning the stair rail for warmth. My daughter has never experienced any hardship whatsoever. She is also constantly pampered, never happened to me once even when unwell. Worse of it is she's compared us as being similar in endurance etc?. I'm not jealous of her just conscious of the massive difference.

You have one less worry. Imagine if they were, in fact, struggling and you couldn’t help them? They are also in a position to help you if you should one day need it even though we don’t like to think of having to depend on children.

HannahLoisLuke

Why are GN repeating threads that we’ve seen before? This one as well as two others today have been featured in the week or two.
I look forward to the daily posts and it’s disappointing to see old threads appearing again.

HannahLoisLuke this happens when there is a new comment on an old thread. Like yours! ?

So glad she had a chat and mentioned a Disney holiday with you all together! Lovely to have that to look forward to.

I think with each generation there is more ability to improve life. Thinking back to just my parents, born in the early 1900, outside toilets, no hot water on tap etc etc, wartime to deal with and so on and it is not so long ago. They wanted what was best for us as we want the best for our children and grandchildren and I wouldn’t begrudge anyone what they have managed to achieve in life through hard work.

Why are GN repeating threads that we’ve seen before? This one as well as two others today have been featured in the week or two.
I look forward to the daily posts and it’s disappointing to see old threads appearing again.

But you know your daughter has done very well and of that you should be proud.

I’m delighted that my DS and his family are better off than we ever were or will be. It means he will be able to contribute to our nursing care should we need it. Seriously, why would you want them to struggle the way we did?

schnakie Glad to hear you are feeling much better now. Sometimes we just need to offload, and then things don't seem so bad. I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Well..... how lovely and thank you for sharing. This will be my cuddle thought for the rest of the day. Wonderful......

Great to hear this schnackie! You must be feeling joyous right now. x

I expect you are proud as to how well your daughter has done with a loving husband and your grandchildren are so well looked after,I'm sure your daughter does not tell you what they spend their money on to brag to you she will just think you may be interested at what is happening in her life.

Wow Schnakie you’ve raised a lovely thoughtful daughter. Be proud of yourself.

Thanks, wish we could react to individual posts like on Facebook!

here's looking at you Minnie with the big black ears.
we expect a photo on here.

Great news Schnackie. It’s wonderful to be good friends with those we love. And to have great things to look forward to! Thanks for updating us

Don't know if anyone is coming back to this thread, but again thank you all so much for your thoughtful replies - and I've had a wonderful surprise!! I was feeling so very low last night, after the Covid death toll and Holocaust rememberance day so I called my DD and told her of my sadness and fears (nothing to do with money!) and she replied that when everything is back to normal we will 'all' go on a Disney Cruise, which would be my biggest wish come true!! She loves me so much, and when I visit she definitely treats me with meals out (just the two of us) and hair appointments etc. I feel so bad now for complaining - she would be mortified if she knew of this discussion, and that is what makes Gransnet such a wonderful support system! Confiding all our secrets and knowing they will be kept.

Been thinking about this..... I have a pal whose dearest wish was that she'd known more about her Mother's straightened financial situation before she died. She only realised once she was clearing up her estate. She feels she should somehow have been aware of this or seen signs as they had a good relationship. Her Mum was a fine person who always appeared smart and in control of things to me. I guess she might have tried to hide any signs of hardship out of either pride or perhaps even not to have worried her daughter. Just wondering if your daughter has a clue or if you'd want her to?

Believe me, its better to have a self sufficient daughter than have one that is struggling through no fault of her own and not having enough money to help her out. There is nothing I like more to see than my children are doing well for themselves and are able to have a good life. Having said that, of course I would like to be better off and I do sometimes blanch at the amount of money they spend on "designer" stuff or the things they consider "necessary" to survive but I expect my mother felt the same judging by how she sniffed every time I bought something! Try to focus on your blessings rather than being worse off than her. Besides, in a financial crisis, you'll know how to cope but it will come as a big shock to those who have been used to having it all. It's all swings and roundabouts.

Sorry I can't help but comment, six kids in the eighties? Wages were terrible then so you mustn't have had much money coming in even when your husband was working so why have six kids. It wasn't the fifties and sixties when birth control hardly existed.

I'm in a different position where I feel guilty. My children are living in rented, or here and I feel guilty they aren't doing better. I worked as single parent, no support and rented with no car. I feel bad they think that's ok as I worked to show an example, it clearly wasn't a good one.
I'd always hoped they would do better than me. My children work and have nice partners.

It doesn't help that my friends have children same age as mine in great financial positions. So, I feel envious for my own personal circumstances, they are financially better off than me. I also feel guilty that I've worked my backside off for many years with no support, and think if my circumstances were different perhaps my children would have better lives.

I'm from an abusive past, and whilst I have broken the cycle, j just wish I didn't have to and perhaps my children would have had better start in life.

Urmstrongram, I think your message and advice is lovely and may be just what shchnackie may want or need to hear. Thanks to you for showing understanding and sharing advice that may help many.

I think it is quite understandable you feeling that way. |It doesn't mean you aren't happy for your daughter but it must be hard when you have always had to struggle. Actually, if I were your daughter and apparently more than comfortably off I think I might treat you now and again. But perhaps she doesn't realise your are not very well off.

I really don't see that buying curtains is a "treat".