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The Argy Bargy Bar is back!

(1001 Posts)
lemongrove Wed 27-Jan-21 21:44:26

Hello Argies, regulars and newcomers, after meeting Moneybags Mike this evening we have another year’s lease on the bar ( £8/10/6d! Daylight robbery)
Drop in here anytime for a chat, banter and a drink or three.
Every Friday is a ‘theme nite’ there may be a raffle and there is always humour along with strong poteen.

Doodle Thu 18-Mar-21 20:50:39

Ooh yes. I’ve always wanted to be a tiller girl. We can have those tiaras with the big feather plumes. I’m so excited. I’ve never been on a yacht before.
I suggest we lock the Admiral in the engine room. That will keep him interested and out of the way.
Better go and run the lawnmower over my garden. Those Tiller costumes are very skimpy. ?

grandmajet Thu 18-Mar-21 20:43:08

You’ve won me over with the tiara, ixion. Emeralds it is!
Plenty of poteen will get us going in fine style.

ixion Thu 18-Mar-21 20:35:04

Make your mind up, grandmajet, you can't be both.
Either a Tiller Girl (lovely tiaras, you can even chose one, unlike you know who ?. Emeralds?) or a Paul Raymond Bunnie?

(Either, I will guess, would see the Admiral off)

grandmajet Thu 18-Mar-21 20:23:52

Oh what fun! Can we wear bunny tails?

ixion Thu 18-Mar-21 20:21:03

How about about a Tiller Girls tribute at the evening bash?
If we started rehearsing now, we could be match-fit in time.
Beats Joe Wicks into a cocked hat.

youtu.be/0XQ17OZ4mwU

grandmajet Thu 18-Mar-21 20:14:40

Can we all be maids of honour? Or made of dishonour!

lemongrove Thu 18-Mar-21 19:41:42

We shall all be wedding belles on that glorious day!

ixion Thu 18-Mar-21 19:28:22

Aw, wedding bells! How lovely!
Just the one??

lemongrove Thu 18-Mar-21 19:22:18

Hee hee! Don’t worry about me girls, am living the life of Riley, took me ages to persuade Reggie to put that engagement ring on my finger and next year we plan a grand wedding ( you can do the catering for us at The Argy.)
Ah! My old comfy chair in the bar, I just have time this evening for a quick poteen or two, and if you like Doodle I can run my eye over the accounts while am here.
Come and help decorate the yacht tomorrow morning, for our Friday nite party, we have invited gorgeous George btw,
He’s an old friend of Reggie’s as it turns out, as R once financed a film for him. Did you all get your outfits sorted?
There may be a few B actors as well as old Salts at the party,
So wear everything.....dresses, fishnets, killer heels, bling, wigs,
Falsies, you name it!

AGAA4 Thu 18-Mar-21 16:39:54

I've no idea but the Admiral is an old sea dog (looks more like a cat with those whiskers) and he knows about boats.

It will keep him out of the usual trouble hopefully and we can enjoy ourselves without wondering what he is up to.

grandmajet Thu 18-Mar-21 15:58:10

Er, what is the mainbrace, and how do you splice it?

AGAA4 Thu 18-Mar-21 11:23:31

We need to keep the Admiral busy bracing the main sail or something.

grandmajet Thu 18-Mar-21 11:08:10

Just don’t sit in front of the Admiral!

Would that work Aga? We have done well. Loadsamoney.

AGAA4 Thu 18-Mar-21 11:07:12

Our lunches have been going down well for instance
Coming back up too but won't mention that.

AGAA4 Thu 18-Mar-21 11:01:31

Maybe we can tell her how we have made loadsamoney for the Argy. Lemon is always interested in profit.

ixion Thu 18-Mar-21 10:29:45

Er, AGA, do you have any idea what it is we are supposed to be doing in the 'distraction' line??‍♀️

(Is this some kind of regional entertainment, do you suppose?)

grandmajet Thu 18-Mar-21 10:07:28

The yacht is here. We have bunting, vats of trotter enriched poteen, party poppers, very classy presents, and tasteful outfits waiting to be worn.
We need food - hors d’oeuvre in the shape of lifebuoys? Or maybe llama D’oeuvres? Mini lifeboats shaped tacos filled with black pea pate? Some nice home made mouse dropping enhanced bread to go with the chunk of cheese I found behind the bar - I’ve scraped all the mould off. (I think it is cheese)
Ixion and Aga can distract Lemon with Oops Upside Your Head, while Doodle can chat up Reggie and assess his credentials, we don’t want her hurt.

Doodle Wed 17-Mar-21 21:01:42

Well lemon can always return to the Argy if it doesn’t work out. She can bring here gold toilet seats with her, they’d go down well with the punters.
I believe Jolly Jack Tar will be there and someone called Blackbeard who wears and eye patch and keeps saying Allo me arties ?

grandmajet Wed 17-Mar-21 17:48:27

He looks a genuine seafarer with his massive beard. Didn’t Happyme check out his credentials behind the bar?
Lemon seems head over heels so I don’t think she’d listen to us - or is she just practising some really athletic position for Reggie!

AGAA4 Wed 17-Mar-21 16:36:33

ixion unbounded riches a yacht for a quick getaway? You may be right but I think lemon can look after herself. She has a strong right hook for anyone who messes her about. Years at the Argy have given her great survival skills.

ixion Wed 17-Mar-21 16:31:29

Do we actually know anything about this Reggie chap?
Should we be prepared to rescue lemon from a life of unbridled debauchery misery?

Like so many others, has she been inveigled by promises of a quiet life but with unrivalled riches to act as a sweetener?
Will she be happy with this itinerant lifestyle?
AIBU?

grandmajet Tue 16-Mar-21 23:10:44

Chums, Doodle? Rich chums?
Where did I put my best glittery fishnets?

Doodle Tue 16-Mar-21 20:26:18

Good idea gramdmajet that’ll show Reggie and his chums how posh we are. I’ve got some old mail bags in the cellar, I’ll just run up a few bags to put the goodies in.

grandmajet Tue 16-Mar-21 17:44:22

? Maybe a small packet of Imodium?

AGAA4 Tue 16-Mar-21 16:43:24

We could add some mini mars bars that I found in the cupboard. They are only ten years out of date.

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