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What do you consider ‘a big family’ these days?

(91 Posts)
Kandinsky Thu 25-Feb-21 11:31:35

I would say 5+
1, 2 or 3 is normal/ average.
4 is in between.

Funnygran Fri 26-Feb-21 10:36:42

I was one of three and wanted three children. After a girl and a boy I became pregnant again. MIL was horrified saying why would you want another since you already have one of each. It was a bit rich from her since DH is one of six! DD has gone on to have three too.

Grandma11 Fri 26-Feb-21 10:30:09

I had 5 daughters, spread over 12 years and two marriages. I never planned it that way, although being an only Child myself, I had always wanted more than two children.
We both worked to support them, gave them the best start in life we could, and we now have 11 Grandchildren, and 3 Great Grandchildren, although we very seldom see the little ones due to DGS being estranged from their mother.
Sadly we lost a daughter to Cancer in 2015, something that makes you appreciate even more the ones that are still with us.

Witzend Fri 26-Feb-21 10:13:17

Obviously that will depend on the kind of accommodation they’re in, @NotSpaghetti, but anywhere around here, a lot of families with 2 children are restricted to 2 bed flats, or small 2 bed houses, because the step up to a 3 bed is just too much.

Just a short distance from us, a very small 1930s 3 bed, with a tiny 3rd bedroom - or box room as they used to call it (8 feet x 6) - will easily sell for £500k+. This is outer SW London, nowhere near the centre.
Of course other areas are cheaper, very likely a lot cheaper, but this is the reality for many around here.

ninathenana Fri 26-Feb-21 10:08:42

grandmajet they never found the coil I had fitted when I got pregnant with our son. I had him by c-section but no sign of the coil.
They concluded it had slipped out shock

M0nica Fri 26-Feb-21 09:20:25

When most of us were having children the dangers of rising world population was well known - and unlike now - the cause in the 1960s - 1990s(?) was an excess of births.

This certainly affected our decisions about family size and that of many of our friends.

LadyGracie Fri 26-Feb-21 09:12:24

We would have had 5 but I lost 3. DD has 1, DS sadly none, it wasn’t to be.

M0nica Fri 26-Feb-21 07:02:12

We should be aiming for a shrinking population, and that can only come by more countries having an average family size of less than 2, Italy and Japan are among the countries in that situation.

Currently population growth is caused by longevity rather than large families. We are the cause of over population, we are all living to long.

Rosie51 Fri 26-Feb-21 00:09:16

Oh good, I'm an in betweener smile Would have loved a couple more but in a 3 bedroomed cottage there wasn't any space. We can all be judgemental if we choose, think some people's view is..... an only child will be spoiled and selfish....two children (preferably one of each sex!) ideal....three, well everyone can have an accident.....four, well you're tending towards selfish.....five, say no more just feckless...and on and on.
The only criteria should be, every child is a wanted child, and that includes "happy accidents" or "arrived sooner than planned" .....hello number four grin
I don't consider I have a large family despite coming from a two child family myself. I suppose I start to think large is six or more, and good luck to them if they have the space and love each one.

GagaJo Thu 25-Feb-21 23:48:19

Any more than 2 is a large family.

Hellogirl1 Thu 25-Feb-21 23:47:25

We had 5, when the last one was born the eldest was 7. We didn`t have a car at the time, later we had a normal estate car, in the days before seat belts, so were able to carry more to a seat. None of mine have had large families, one son has 2 with his wife and 1 from a previous marriage, youngest son has 1, I daughter has 2, another daughter has 1. I did decide after number 5 that that was enough, and went to be sterilised, that was in 1973.

mumofmadboys Thu 25-Feb-21 23:06:38

We have 5 and nowadays people regard us as a large family. No regrets. Loved the fun , laughter and mischief of 5 small boys at home! It was hard to do anything quietly!

BlueSky Thu 25-Feb-21 21:56:46

You must have been very fertile Grandmajet to defy all the contraceptive methods! Yes people have something to say if you have just the one or more than 3!

grandmajet Thu 25-Feb-21 21:07:42

Thank you BlueSky. We adore them all! My last was a ‘coil’ baby, and I spent a week in hospital six months after she was born seeking it out and removing it! The surgeon said I was a first for him!

TrendyNannie6 Thu 25-Feb-21 21:03:01

Probably 5

Sara1954 Thu 25-Feb-21 19:11:13

I have three, I would have liked four but they were very well spaced out, and the last one was a terrible pregnancy, so we decided three would do.
Now I’m quite pleased, I’ve got enough problems with the three I’ve got.

BlueSky Thu 25-Feb-21 19:02:49

grandmajet

We had 4 in under 7 years. One for each method of contraception. Then he had the snip!

Grandmajet grin
How lovely 4! I wanted 4 but stopped at 2! The Pill sorted that out!

kittylester Thu 25-Feb-21 18:40:11

timetogo, you experience might have been different but I brought up all of my 5 children myself!!

AGAA4 Thu 25-Feb-21 16:55:14

I have 4 children but none of my children have more than 2.
I think 4 would be considered too many by today's standards.

timetogo2016 Thu 25-Feb-21 16:54:30

I had two,would have loved a third but heyho.
I think it`s selfish to have more than 5 tbh.
How can you possibly show love and spend time with each one.
The older ones tend to do the bringing up, i know that for a fact but don`t want to add more onfo.

kittylester Thu 25-Feb-21 16:50:32

Ooops! Both Dh and I have 3 brothers and we have 5 children. We have 7 dgc and 2 step grandchildren.

I apologise if that offends any of you.

NotSpaghetti Thu 25-Feb-21 16:49:57

From what I gather from dd and her friends, quite a few of them would like more, only quite apart from general expenses, the bigger accommodation they’d need would be unaffordable.

Do you think this is true Witzend about the houses... or do you think they want everyone to have their own bedroom?

NotSpaghetti Thu 25-Feb-21 16:44:32

To answer the OP, I think 6 or more is big.

Witzend Thu 25-Feb-21 14:39:12

4 or more nowadays.

One dd has 3 (3rd was a ‘surprise’) and has often said she’d have loved more if she and her dh were younger and richer!) Other dd has none, and I don’t think ever will (her choice).

From what I gather from dd and her friends, quite a few of them would like more, only quite apart from general expenses, the bigger accommodation they’d need would be unaffordable.

IMO a large family has become a luxury not many can afford any more.
I often think back to the good-sized family houses we lived in when I was a child, that my parents could just about afford on just one very ordinary salary. They were always skint when we were young (4 children) but no matter how much you skimped and scraped nowadays, such houses simply wouldn’t be possible on one nothing-special salary.
(I’m talking the SE, London commute area here - I dare say say things might be different in other areas.)

Urmstongran Thu 25-Feb-21 14:30:31

Funny how times have changed. Large families were, years ago, a sign of poverty. Now in these times they seem to shout ‘affluent’ as in Gordon Ramsey, Jamie Oliver, Katie Price etc.

Mind you times have changed regarding obesity. Historically only wealthy people could afford to eat well and poor people were thin, skinny people. The roles have reversed. Wealthy people eschew large meals, have personal trainers and look thin. Poor people are the fatties eating junk food....

silverlining48 Thu 25-Feb-21 14:12:16

Granygravy13, I don’t know the large vehicle terminology, will have to check, but 4x4, or people carrier, whatever, they all seem very big to me in my fiesta.