What do you consider ‘a big family’ these days?

I'm one of 5, DH is one of 4. We have 4 grown up children. I wanted 6 but the mortgages were sky high at the end of the 80s (remember that?) so unable to afford. Now we have 5 GC and the hope of more.

I love all my family with extreme passion... but worry constantly about them when not with.

Bigger family = more love but more worry too.

We did not actually decide how many children we wanted. We wanted enough children to fill a vicarage. We had too many children to be able to afford the vicarage!

When I grew up I was one of 3 children but my best friend who lived over the road was the second youngest of 12! We all lived in social housing but the block across from us were 3 story 4 bedrooms and each family had anything between 5 and 12 children .
I had 3 children in 2 and a half years so was sterilised at my request a few days after my second son was born. I was 22 but have never regretted it for one moment.

I think too many is the number that you can’t afford in today’s society. I remember reading what it would cost to raise a child till age 18. It was scary! We had two. That’s all we thought we could manage.
Now when you’re deciding how many children you can afford, you would still have to factor in the demands for basics like food, clothes etc, but thinking of the problems Covid has caused, also the need for computers and other technology.

My 31 year old neighbour has just had baby no 9. The eldest is 12

Legs55 i wouldnt class your DD as an only child? I would class her as 1 of 5?

I too must be selfish as i have 4, though together my husband and i have 8,
I class 6+ a large family, 4 to me us the norm

Well M0nica I think to call someone selfish to have 4 is awful. I have 4, we had a daughter but I was very ill afterwords with a lot of blood loss. As we didn't want to go down that route again we adopted a daughter. Low and behold a boy soon followed. After all that a girl followed 20 years later. So am I selfish for not wanted to 'get rid' of the children I got caught with? And yes the snip soon followed

I’m an only child although I’ve no idea why. I wouldn’t recommend it. It was a lonely life especially in the school holidays. My father was quite strict and I wasn’t allowed to play outside in the street. Actually there were very few children living nearby anyway. The worst time ever was when my father died suddenly. My DH wanted to help but was unwell at the time. I had to organise the funeral and sort out all my father’s belongings entirely on my own. Fortunately a good friend of his helped me with the paperwork. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone and took a long time to recover.

I was brought up as an only child and hated it, I was very lonely sometimes. I had a friend who was the middle one of nine children. I loved visiting their home, it was noisy, chaotic, very 'lived in', and at mealtimes there was always room for one more! They were most definitely not wealthy but that was compensated for by an abundance of love. It was the sort of family life I wanted to have some day.

In the late 70s we had 3 children and soon discovered that this was considered to be a 'big' family. Entry to children's activities etc was always for 2 adults and 2 children. Many people (especially our parents) thought we were crazy. I didn't tell them I'd quite like a couple more! However, we reluctantly settled for three as we knew we could never afford to move to a much larger house. We had a wonderful family life with our children, and it's interesting that each of them now have 3 children.

I think these days 4 or more is probably considered a large family.

I was an only and lonely child. My husband also an only one (there were lots of us in the 1950’s) grew up with lots of cousins living nearby. I was determined our eldest son wouldn’t be an only child as too much pressure. We went on to have our daughter and folk asked me did we plan to have anymore. My catchphrase was it wasn’t as if we could have a dog or a duck next so no as we had a boy and a girl. Then our youngest son came along as a happy accident -another coil baby! Never had any regrets having a slightly larger family despite my MiL who was vile about my second and third pregnancies!

I have 3 but the last one was a happy mistake!
But l think 2 is nice.

I am an only child so is my DD, she has 2 boys BUT she has 1 H-B & 3 HSs from my marriage to her F, also 1 S-S & 1 S-B from my marriage to my late DH.

I once went out with a lad who with his twin sister were the youngest of 13. Farming families usually had large families of 6+. I am 65 & can remember several large families from my childhood.

I believe it's your business & nobody else's as long as you can afford the children

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I was an only child and hated it. However, I was unable to have children, so have to accept that fact.
I hate to see large families where the children are not cared for, so if you can afford it, why not.
I would like to see the end of child benefit which was brought in after WW11 when the population needed more children. Why do we still pay this outdated benefit these days?

Better fewer children, within a smaller population and less strain on world resources.

If it’s second marriage ie a blended family it may be larger than parents and one or two children.

Have as many children as you can comfortably afford. They will become tax payers.

I would never consider three children a big family. It is still quite normal to have three children.

Nor can I agree that having children is self-indulgent - we need young people, otherwise we will become a nation of old and eventually dead people.

Five or six children could be considered large, I suppose, but there again many famiies do have that number due to divorce and remarriage.

Grandmajet ~ a mirror image of my family except we had four in four years! No twins.... tried all available contraception but in the end, he had the snip! We'd have been happy with 6 but gave in to peer pressure. Not selfish or indulgent, we could afford them financially and emotionally and they were never palmed off on friends or relatives. We went out together once a year and loved it.... if it's right for you at the time, then the size of your family is nobody's business but your own.....

I’m sure I read somewhere that the population was in danger of declining in the future because of low birth rates.

I like to see big families personally, maybe that is because I was glad to have come from one.

With the worldwide overpopulation and we just need to look at the population density in the UK two children (unless a multiple arrives for the second birth) is enough. I am always amazed at how folk moan about needing larger houses and not either being able to afford to buy or rent; can't afford child care yet
keep on having more children. On the Planet and sustainability, what has happened with the nappy landfill issue, never seems to be included in media items now.

Two or three if there’s a multiple birth. The planet can’t take any more over population. I went to catholic schools in the 50s and 60s and even then families had rarely more than 3 children, apart from the odd exception.

I am one of three as is my husband so three seemed the ideal number for our own family, which is what we had. They are all now in their twenties and quite a few of our friends also had three children but far more had two. Two seems to be the norm these days - very few people seem to have three or more.

My mum was one of 8, my dad one of 4.
My daughters father was one of 9 (Irish Catholic).
I had one, all I wanted.
Environmentally more than two or 3 is damaging imo.
The family on TV with 20+ are ridiculous! They may not claim benefits but they surely cannot honestly say each child gets everything they need from their parents?
I find it distasteful she was pregnant by him at 13/14 tbh.
I also find it odd she is still choosing to have more at the same time as her daughter/s..... .