Christmas with Family which turned into disaster

OMG shocking behaviour. Go low contact for now. Sending hugs

It's a few years now since I last had the need for installing a baby monitor in my home, but when I did, I was shocked that I could hear other neighbours babies and conversations around the small Cul-de-sac where we lived, sometimes amusing, sometimes embarrasing, and often downright Rude in more senses than one!

Quite a few of these monitors shared the same transmission frequency, and the ones that were self connecting were all of the same brand. I'm surprised though to find that this still happens today with all the latest technology we have, my monitor was Circa.1998!

All sounds rather far-fetched. Yes, an ap on the phone or laptop for listening could be used as long as it is tied in with cameras and microphones in each room. Surely, if these had been originally installed, they would have been taken down now.

Also, nothing has been said as to the OP's own conversations with her hubbie about her daughter -obviously detrimental conversations!!! If that is how she feels about her daughter then the relationship is already damaged.

Like many others, I had to cancel my arranged visit for a few days to my eldest daughter - as that would have been during the week after Christmas. When I do visit her, I do very little,, keep my own bedroom there neat and tidy - but that is all. Equally on my visits to my bubble family near to where I live, I do absolutely nothing whilst I am there.

Surely, if a family member is coming to stay for a pro-longed period, then part of the arrangements with them would be a discussion on what they will need to do whilst living in that household.

Re: helping around the house. What did SiL do to help around the house? Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander and, anyway, they had a small child to look after, in someone elses house, so much more demanding than in one's own home.

I have given views above, but D's behaviour, downloading app and using it when she got back home (I missed that) was so far away beyond any form of civilised behaviour, let alone on her own parents. I wouldn't waste time on apologies. Just say that in future you will only meet her and DGC in public places.

Waves at Grandmabatty and Bluebelle

Bluebells those were my exact thoughts.

These electronic gizmos are ever increasing we visited my sister in the US in 2019 her husband had set the house to operate by voice commands. So to turn lights on it was “hey Alexa lights on” or TV or Kettle, etc, etc, even lock door.

Clever, but I got tired of it very quickly and will not be installing it here, OH doesn’t like it either.

(more breaking lockdown rules - just shameful)

'she won't apologise' really doesn't help! Whatever the rights or wrongs, your relationship needs mending, so be the bigger person. Say that you're sorry and tell her you love her - before it's too late.

I don't expect guests (even family) to pull their weight, so I'm just pleasantly surprised when they help out.

We have an external security camera app called “Nest” not only does it record, it also alerts me on the mobile when there is any significant movement or sound, which I can then replay.

If you use one inside the house turning the sound off would be a good idea, because your candid comments about a loved one may not be well received.

I still dont understand why they were staying with you for 2 weeks neither do I understand about this phone app you are talking about
So this dodgy conversation you had with your husband has taken place AFTER they went home? Didn’t they take the baby monitor (or whatever it is) back with them? if not why is it still plugged in nearly 3 months later ?
Sorry pony but this is so bizarre please can you explain it to clarify it

Once I heard my parents discussing our parenting over a baby listening device. They were staying in our home and must have been in the baby's bedroom. They always did think we were rather laid back as parents without enough discipline! I ignored what I heard and didnt mention it!

Why don't you just disconnect the device? Its as simple as that. You are pussyfooting around her and enabling her unacceptable behaviour.
People who eavesdrop, rarely hear anything good about themselves.
How dare she spy on you, for that is what she is doing! She should be apologising to you.

We certainly weren't allowed overnight stays here in Scotland at Christmas, so why was she there for a few days?

Please make it up with her, whatever the cost; life is too short to be falling out with her.

I know this to my cost.

A good reminder for people with these security devices to change their password if others are allowed to briefly sign in.

I am sure we have all said things we would rather the talked about did not hear and hopefully she will realise that too.

Is there anyone in the family that could be a go-between may be asking if there would be things she says that would not like others to hear her say about them, and what was said does not make spying on her parents the right thing to do.

what did you say about her?

my advice is, take the listening device-->go our to the shed or garage-->find a hammer or mallet--> smash device up with said hammer and scream-->set fire to the remains

x

grannyrose the child in this story wasn’t under 1 year old it was a 1 year old

Ponymoore

She had the app installed on her phone whilst down at our house, so when she went home she listened into our conversations without us realising.

This is totally unacceptable. Never mind apologising to her - I wouldn't trust her is my house ever again.

Where do Sil and DH stand on all this?

There should be a law against this. In any case, I’m sure all these things are password protected. If so, change your password...

BlueBelle

I thought that was for 5 days not a 2 weeks holiday rosie

It was not just for 5 days. It is for as long as there is a child under 1. This was "allowed" presumably because of the tremendous pressure lockdown has caused young mums when they haven't been able to have support from their families.

I wonder if an Alexa device can be downloaded via an app to be used in this way? I would not have one for security reasons.
Wasn’t Christmas mixing just for the day as far as I recall?

We are now almost three months on from Christmas, has DD completed her house move yet? This all seems a bit odd to me but I might be missing something. However, a saying does spring to mind "Eaves droppers hear no good of themselves"! In my opinion DD had no right listening in to your conversations either.

I m sorry but this doesn’t sound right what’s the name of this app ? and are you saying it can pick up all round the house You originally said she was listening in to your security camera ???

lot of strange situations afflicting GNtters lately.

She had the app installed on her phone whilst down at our house, so when she went home she listened into our conversations without us realising

How does that work?