Mothers and Mothers in Law

I'm pleasant to my dds in-laws because I'm fond of my sil and they're his parents. We don't meet up often even although they moved to the same village as me! I like his dm and dgm but I cannot stand his df - an unpleasant man who shows off and engages in competitive grandparenting. I smile through gritted teeth.

I think things went wrong when MiL said to my mother that she didn't know why all the fuss was being made about me, personally she felt she looked far nicer - this was coming out of the church on my wedding day - not the thing you say to the bride's mother I guess!

My parents and my in laws didn't like each other. They only met once or twice. I couldn't get on with my in laws at all. Mind you, my husband didn't much like them (his own parents) either and got on much better with mine. Both sets of parents long gone now.

My mother didn’t like my mother-in-law, I suspect she was jealous because I did like her.
I’m not best buddies with any of my sons in-laws. We have a nice time with them at family gatherings but that’s all.
The only thing we all have in common is family, so we stay within those bounds.

When I got married I moved to England where my ex husband was from. Every time my parents came to stay my MIL had to stay too. She lived 5 minutes away! It drove my poor dad nuts as I couldn't get time alone with my own parents, she cried if my ex even asked her to go home a day early to give me at least one day alone with my mum and dad. She was a nightmare. MIL had me all the time, but I saw my own mum about 4 times a year. My ex got a new job and we were able to move back to where I was from and MIL had to move with us. My mum and I had to sneak out for the day cos she would of sulked like a child cos she didn't get to go too. Glad they are both 'ex' now.

My husband has never met our son’s mother in law I’ve only seen her couple of times?☹️But then we hardly see our son although we’re only 40 minutes away!

I suspect my mother would have done the same as OP's.

It didn't arise, as my MIL had died before I met my husband.

I find it rude and discourteous to your husband that your mother refused to visit if his mother was there, but rather that than her coming and being rude when there.

That was precisely what happened on the only occasions ( daughters' christenings) where my sister invited her MIL and our parents at the same time.

My DM and MIL never got on. In all fairness DM was a difficult person and never got on with a lot of people but MIL was not the most tactful of people either. They lived either side of London so there was not much chance of them meeting but trouble really started when our DD was born. We invited them both for 1st Christmas/1st Birthday etc They never asked for suggestions for presents and whatever one bought the other had bought a larger version. It finally came to a head at our son's Christening. Neither could be pleasant to each other and ruined a happy day. We vowed they would never get together again until our DD and DS got married.

“My mother liked my husband and his mother far more than she liked me!”

NellG ?

Strangely enough my estranged Dils parents are lovely people and I'd have no problem spending time with them again. Yet my DDs partner's parents are a living nightmare and even though for hers and his sake we would never refuse to spend time with them the thought of it makes me grit my jaw. Those events require great self control, valium and a good amount of decent gin.
My mother liked my husband and his mother far more than she liked me!

I dont see why the parents from both sides have to get along.

I don't see why in-laws have to get on. My mum met my in-laws a few times, but that's all. I don't think either felt any obligation to the other. When they did meet things were cordial, but not over friendly.
When my daughter married I only met her in-laws the night before the wedding- we have met a few times since but we are not interested in each other's lives. I don't know them that well and don't feel the need to.

My in laws didn’t get on with us at all, including me......
DDs weddings and that was all the socialising they did with my family over the 35 years that my parents were alive. They didn’t even go to my parents funerals, just said ‘oh I don’t think so thankyou’.
My brothers wife’s parents became best of friends with my parents,( even after his marriage went pear shaped) and remained so until my parents died.

My mum and MiL didn't get on at all but they were polite to each other on the few occasions they met.
They were completely different people but my dad and FiL seemed fine with each other. They were both married to very strong minded women!

Fortunately my parents and in-laws lived over 200 miles apart and met only twice to my knowledge. They had nothing in common which, as we were married abroad, I hadn't realised until we came back to Britain and had children; otherwise I might never have married XH.

My parents never socialised with my Inlaws ,they saw each other at christmas at our house but that was it except for two christenings .I dont think its odd ,they didn't have much in common so why would they? Just because our children marry someone doesn't mean we need to be best pals with their family .

My MIL was difficult to get on with not friendly at all. My husband and I bought a house together with my in-laws when we got married we live in the top flat, if my Mum called round my MIL would answer the door and without acknowledging my Mum would call up the stairs “someone for you”.
Needless to say they didn’t socialise ever, if we had a children’s birthday party my in-laws would come around after everyone else had left. She was a strange one my MIL. ?