Funny little colloquial phrases

‘If brains were ink, you wouldn’t have enough to make a full stop!’ was one of my father’s when I had done something particularly stupid!

Greyduster, I like that one.

Has anyone heard ‘sitting there like Piffy on a rock bun’? Is it a northern saying for being left out?
Grandpajet, when surprised by something, often says, ‘well, I go to the bottom of our stairs’.
Another northern one? He grew up in a prefab in Manchester so had no stairs!

'Yer bum's oot the windae' is brilliant. I've loved that phrase since I first heard it years ago.

One you don't tend to hear anymore,"for obvious reasons, is "he's/she's sixpence short of a shilling". One I like is "try as you might, you might as well try".

'It's black over Bill's mothers' was a phrase used a great deal when I was a child growing up in the East Midlands. It meant a rain storm was on it way. 'Mardy' meant sulky or miserable. 'No point in closing the stable door now the horse has bolted' is self explanitary!

'Ye're seeing it.' in response to being asked how you're doing.

'He's a bit corned beef' Scots rhyming slang for deaf.

Were I come from, the long-winded are accused of "going all round the Wrekin".

He was in the long queue when brains were being handed out.

The taxi driver went twice around the houses- he took the longest way home.

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off.

Boz

Were I come from, the long-winded are accused of "going all round the Wrekin".

If you can see the Wrekin, it's going to rain

If you can't see the Wrekin, it's already raining

Seeing yer bum - getting angry.

If you had a brain you'd be dangerous.

My Grandad used to say-‘well I’ll go to th foot our stairs’ in his strong Lancashire accent when told something that surprised him. When we did something he thought did not reflect well behaviour wise he would say’ raise thee broughtings up’, in other words remember they way you have been taught to behave. Haven’t heard either said for years.

Muscles on yer arm like knots in cotton, and legs like sparrows ankles. Both self explanatory!

I've never heard some of these.

Dunna be so nesh

Don’t expect two favors in return for one.

Hot pokers and heated arguments should be quickly dropped.

From my Dad:
'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'

Thorntrees, yes, that’s it, the foot of our stairs. I said ‘the bottom’ in my post. Don’t know how I got it wrong, he’s always saying it!

My grandma used to say she would ‘side on’the table for clearing the table. She was born in Durham but lived in Yorkshire.

I love these, so varied and plain weird some of them.

Born the wrong side of the blanket.

A Yorkshire friends talked about 'bottoming a room'
meaning cleaning it really thoroughly.

Her house was always immaculate

It’s cracking flags - meaning it’s very hot today.

One of my favourites is ‘talking round shouldered’ ie talking rubbish. I wonder whether this came from the days when dustmen used to hoist the full metal buns on their shoulders - no wonder they where round.

or even ‘Bins’
- predictive text strikes again