Funny little colloquial phrases

That reminds me, Monica, that my grandfather who spent all of WW1 in France saying, "C'est la guerre!" (it's the war('s fault) if anything went wrong or was unobtainable.

I was greatly surprised though to her a young woman, young enough go be my grand-daughter, use it in Marseille a few years ago.

Up there for thinking, down there for dancing

It’s about as useless as an ashtray on a motor bike.

My American niece was very tickled on hearing what her older male cousin said to his sister, on hearing that she was expecting her 2nd baby - a very laconic, ‘I hear you’re up the duff again’.
She said she was exporting this Brit-ism back across the pond forthwith!

I never heard, ‘It’s black over Bill’s mother’s’ except here on GN, but I do love it.

‘Yer like a hauf shut knife’.
You are looking a trifle jaded.

'Cat's with gloves on can't catch mice' - not sure where it comes from but I think my Mum (or possibly my Grandma)!

Or 'He/she's a bit Dagenham' (2 stops short of Barking!)

If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there'd be no work for Tinkers - London saying I think....

You'll always find it in the last place you look!! Think about it, you don't need to look further.

All fur coat & no knickers means they are pretending to be summat they arent! (Posh, but they are really common)

When asked what's for dinner DM used to say 'Iffit Pie'.
When something does not turn out perfect MIL always said 'A blind man would be pleased to see it'.
FIL and now DH always say ' shrapnel' for small coins and 'going to turn my bike round' for going to the loo. Always amuses our American friends.

I never understood why folk say 'done up like a dogs dinner' when surely a dogs dinner is nothing much to look at?.....?

It’s snowing down South - meaning your underskirt is showing beneath your dress.
He’s like a dog with two tails.
I could eat a horse between two bread vans.
It’s cold enough for two hairnets.

"Red hat, no drawers" - tarty.
"He doesn't know which side his arse hangs" - one of my nana's sayings, meaning "He is confused."
"I'm going to Huncote on a pig" - another old Leicestershire saying, an answer to "Where are you going?" If you were feeling expansive, you would add, "I'm going to put the pig on the wall to watch the band go by."

Sadly, I haven't heard anyone say it for years. It's probably dying out as a saying.

He’s sent his brains for washing (clueless) and ‘café bread’ when the butter didn’t reach the edge.

Before we moved, the one I really hated was hearing some girls in Liverpool telling boys to ‘go run up me back’ instead of ‘go away’.

If we asked what was for tea my mam always said "stewed bugs and onions" and if we did something daft she'd say "you duck egg".

When asked what’s for dinner, oh says ‘bread and pullet’.
When asked what it costs mum would say ‘money in good words’.
‘If brains were a disease you’d be in the best of health’.

Away ye go an bile yer heid ........ Go away you're talking rubbish.
I'm up to high doh ........ I'm stressed out.

Got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Got out the wrong side of the bed. ( if someone was moody)
When I was courting my husband in our teens his mum used to tell us, It's alright playing with the candle as long as you don't put the wick out. (grin)

Got more front than Brighton?

Do you not find that so many of these found absolutely fine when you say them, but look really weird when you write them?

A South African colleague of mine said the other day, when asked to solve a work problem said " I've got other crocodiles nearer my boat" . Loved it!!

grandmajet

All fur coat and no knickers!
(Chilly)

I have always used that to mean putting on side, pretending to be better than you are. In Texas they say "Big hat and no cattle"

my favourite from my work days when asked to solve a problem that was not my problem (ususally people related) is "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

Charlie's dead meant your petticoat was showing. All my eye and Betty Martin was one of my mother's, but we never heard anyone else use it. I think it meant 'rubbish'.