One reward for helping a frail, very elderly neighbour.....

?

Well done.

But I am left wondering if your neighbour is competent enough to be at home on her own? Is this the worrying first signs of dementia? Is her daughter aware that her mother is not coping well and calling on you a lot?

It can happen quite rapidly in some cases, as with a relative of mine. Because we hadn't seen her for a while, we noticed immediately that things were not right with her.

She’s not alone, her dh is there but disabled so can’t do much at all, and a son who lives not too far away calls in regularly. Daughter lives too far to pop in.

They do have some paid help but stubbornly refuse anything more, though goodness knows it’s been suggested often enough.
Son and daughter are well aware of the calls we get, but we’ve told them that as long as we’re here and not tied up, we’re happy to help.

Having seen far too much of dementia in close relatives, I don’t think it’s that - not yet anyway - since when she’s not in a tizz she’s quite lucid and can (intentionally) be wickedly amusing.

I sometimes come away from visits to the neuro ward feeling like a spring chicken and fit as a flea. It’s sad to see people worse than me, but at the same time it makes me appreciate what I have.

You seem a very caring lady Witzend

My mum was lucky enough to have some very caring neighbours who were happy to help her and keep an eye out, even during early to moderate dementia. Matt would phone me if he was worried so I could pop round if necessary ( I live about ten miles away so not a problem) or just to let me know of a situation he had already dealt with.

Obviously we would not expect them to be responsible for mum, they were aware that we visited every day and had cameras all over the place to keep mum safe but it was reassuring to know that they loved mum.

So when mum went into a care home last year and we decided to rent out her house, we have made sure that the tenants are a family who hopefully will respect the neighbours - it is a semi detached so quite important.

Witzend I was so happy to read this:

'a very annoying failure to recall instantly words which I know I know (for crosswords)'

Its lovely for your neighbour to have such a kind helper. (Sorry cant think of the right word!)