The Argy Bar and Tea Room

Sssh Pants don’t tell them all. He said you can pop down later he’s got a stiff git he needs help with.
Oh ok grandmajet when pants has finished with him you can bring him up and resuscitate him with poteen and some llama yoghurt, guaranteed to make anyone frisky. ?

Be careful Doodle, he may still Move Like Jagger but he’s getting on a bit. It would be bad publicity for the Argy if you finished him off in the cellar!

Ooh Doodle when you said you had him over a barrel, I didn’t think you meant it literally, you norty hussee!?

Ahem, I know nothing. I have just been checking the barrels in the cellar. No one else down there. I’ll just shut the trap door to make sure he can’t get out no one falls down the steps. I think I’ll have a pint of poteen and some of those cucumber sandwiches......before I go and check the barrels again. ?

The Mick cucumber sandwiches went down a storm in the tearoom, as did the Mick’s seaweed smoothie. Waste not, want not.
Has anyone seen Mick, by the way? The ‘boys’ last saw him being dragged into the cellar by someone with long red hair.

Doodle is that you with the long red wig? Why are you wearing your bra over your blouse? Did you have to get dressed very quickly again?

ixion I will leave you to milk the Gnasher!

Any of that trial llama yoghurt?
With Mick's endorsement and a bit of non-too-subtle product placement, our new venture could fly off the shelves!??

What a night! We must have filled the coffers many times over! Don’t we all look great, so well groomed!
Mick and the boys are chilling in the bar now, with pints of poteen. He loves the llamas - I think he wants to buy them!

Great idea to keep the cucumber brook - we can sell them as Mick’s eye cucumber sandwiches, and make another huge profit

Snap! Perfect.
Brilliant job. ?

Are we all ready?

Hang on. Let me get me teef in.

Wild Horses?? Has be brought the Osmond brothers as backing band ?. Oh no sorry that was Crazy Horses. I’m getting too excited.
Wow we must get some publicity photos. Line up gang let’s hover in the background and see if we can get on TV.?

Oh my, those wraps grandmajet. They look fifty years younger.
Er, what time do you open tomorrow??

I think he’s just about to go on stage now ... Jumping Jack Flash is his opening number ... yep that’s got everyone on their feet already ..followed by Wild Horses ..or are they Llamas
No need to buy more cucumbers for tomorrow’s sandwiches as I’ve kept the ones I used earlier ....

I thought he was in the spa having a facial with brook before his performance. That may have been the Captain who does look a bit like Mick. He is out back now. He used to be in the Argy every night till the incident.

I didn’t think he’d turn up this early! I suppose he has to acclimatise himself to the rarified atmosphere of the Argy.

OMG! It’s Mick, is it? I just told him to keep his manky old hands to himself!

They perform best when they've had a few doodle. Early performance do you think? Just in case our wonderful cocktails do knock them out. They are very strong as you know.

AGA if Mick and the boys perform for poteen and and cocktails I have to ask, will they be able to stand afte, let alone perform.
Er AGA the Admiral is in the cellar with the llamas.......I think you might find that is Mick ?
I’ve ordered a job lot of cucumbers as we can sell them to the punters.....endorsed by The Stones ?. Get slicing brook
grandmajet I think we’ll have to close the tea room for the day and see if we can get some of the customers to help out.
This is such a big event for us, Lemon will be furious disappointed she’ll miss it.

I have asked Thor and Theo to provide extra seating. Mick won't charge us any money as he has heard that the Argy Bar is notorious famous and he will perform for poteen, cocktails and a session in the spa.

Some of the staff from the Rats Tale or tail want to help out.

The Admiral is annoying everyone singing "I want to be your lover baby. I want to be your man" while trying to walk like Jagger and just looking constipated.

Mick and the ‘others’ have requested cucumber eyes with their seaweed wraps before their performance. brook, I hope you have had plenty of practice by now, they may be very fussy about the size and thickness of the slices.
If we have too many punters, we may have to spill out onto the alley a bit. Maybe we should erect a big screen outside, and have a poteen stand there, and a hotdog stall. Have we enough staff to cope?

Just how many tickets are you selling AGA??
The local rag has just turned up, saying that this will be the hottest thing since Bisto er, 'Glasto' ??‍♀️

??
What could go wrong?

Hot stones in the spa then Hot Stones for the cabaret. We will make a fortune

I’m off to my massage booth to Paint it Black, to make sure he feels at home when I do his seaweed wrap.