The Argy Bar and Tea Room

If he wants a Midnight Rambler, I'm free?

Wot. ? Mick Jagger. ???? No way!
I’m so excited I may have my 19th Nervous Breakdown!
I hope he knows You Can’t Always Get What You Want.
Is he looking for his Honky Tonk Woman still?

Wot ?. Mick Jagger. ????. No way.
Make sure he get some satisfaction . ?

I have acquired some hot stones. Mick Jagger will be here on Friday with the others

Hello polo do you want a spray tan with Muscles?
Make sure he cleans his nozzle first.
Yes ixion if you can find one on eBay you can get a nozzle just for us.
I do like my PomPom posterior. It’s nice and fluffy to sit on. The llamas look so good and Allarma has always wanted to be different. ?
AGA you look.....amazing. What a .......fetching shade of purple. Those nails are stupendous. You can stir the poteen from 3 ft away.
grandmajet just don’t overheat those stones we don’t want any complaints. Try your technique on Brook first I’m sure she’s won’t mind she’s got a hide like a rhinoceros ?.
Well done all you’re doing an amazing job. ?

Yes, hot stone therapy sounds a great idea, heat ‘em up, and chuck ‘em on! I can manage that.
Have we considered llama yoga? I’ve heard of goat yoga - I’m sure our llamas can equal any goat in yoga ability!

We can offer matching llama rides.
Get your spray tan and coordinating llamas. Package deal - 50 guineas?

brook do you think Allarma likes being orange? He seems quite happy.

Oh no Muscles ... we said leave the Llamas alone ..

Doodle you look wonderful. I love the little pom pom effect around the rear.
Is Muscles going to get us sued!? I have just seen someone come out distinctly orange.
I think his nozzle needs a good clean.

Just back from the Body Shop, having had a Strong Word with Muscles about the use of his spray nozzles over our clients. Transpires he had only the one, which he brings over as and when.
Please doodle, can we have some money to buy one he can keep at the Spa?

Talking of money, what are you like with hot stone massage, grandmajet? Basalt (yeah, right) stones heated and placed along your spine - yes, really?
Plenty of rubble out the back, £150 guineas a session? ??

polomint thanks we are doing as well as can be expected.

I have had a complete makeover. The dye went a bit wrong and my hair is a vibrant purple instead of the honey blonde I asked for. Sheree has given me nails that are 3 inches long. Good for stirring the poteen though.
The llamas have been drinking the hot water in the hot tubs and have added a jar of coffee. I blame George for getting them hooked on coffee. Seems they have added milk and sugar too.

Sorry I was just playing about. Hope everyone is doing well

Hello

Hmm yes ixion I think you could be in to something there. I quite fancy the poodle look. I think I’ll take the llamas with me and get them done to match ?

Well doodle, you have been having a moan commenting on how much your hair has grown.
You might benefit from Pampered Pooches' coiffeuring expertise?

Hmmm I hope they don’t send me out looking like a prize poodle ??

I hope they remember they’re in the spa and not at pampered pooches when they tidy Doodle up!

Is that like eyebrow threading grandmajet? ?‍♀️

?

Thor has worked wonders with his loofah - I feel like a new woman.
You’ll be fine with Tanya and Sherree, Doodle. I believe they do de-matting too, if you have any need for that in the underarm area - or anywhere else!

All sorted doodle
Sherree for your manicure, Tanya for your feet. 11.30 tonight?

Stanley Stonemason can do you tomorrow 9am sharp. He's a bit tied up with a weeping angel at the mo and a deadline (as it were) for a marble gargoyle. Polishing imperfections and chiselling away, lots of transferable skills.

Just make sure Sherree doesn't give you nail extensions like May's. They don't seem to be a bit, er, hygienic if you get my drift.

brook wonderful photo of our llamas. I hope you gave them a good scrub down.
AGA thanks for the message. We will need that safe soon now bookings are coming think and fast.
ixion I think you are right about May. About as much use as a chocolate teapot as they say. She can either stay on as toilet cleaner (!) or look elsewhere. Either way we need a new receptionist. I will cover for the moment so please can you get Stanley to fix my teeth and nails before I start,
You are quite right, no Botox or tattoos. We are aiming for the more upper class punters. Those who will tip well.
grandmajet is that you? You have gone a strange colour. Don’t worry, we’ll pop you in the spa for a bit and I’ll get Thor to give you a once over with his loofah. That should sort you out ?

Oh, I'm so sorry, gjet.
I specifically told him to flush his nozzles through first☹️