The Argy Bar and Tea Room

I’ve always wondered Grandmajet, do you have a better grip with marigolds on in the Gents? I hope they’re appreciative of your efforts...?

Also wots your handling policy on ‘floaters’? Some of those blighters are hard to get rid of, aren’t they?

I’d be flushing like mad all night and they’d still be there in the morning, a little worn around the edges....?

Just woken up after spending the night in the corner downstairs - wow that poteen is strong isn’t it!!
Just thinking that someone may have to restrain the Admiral tomorrow before BigBertha and her refained friends arrive?

No grandmajet. You are needed for waitress service. We all live dockside. I, myself, live in a hovel cottage in Pigstrotter Alley

(Aside) I’m not sure I’m up to dealing with all these refained people. I was raised the wrong side of the docks. Much more at home with the marigolds on in the lavs. I hope doodle is pleased with the way I handled that request. I fear I may be demoted back to permanent toilet brush duty. ?

We have reserved our premier table for your party, BigBertha, along with grinning Gary, our award winning waiter of the highest calibre, silver service trained of course. He will attend to your every need, he’s even willing to flap your fan for you if required.
We look forward to your custom.

Something on the mezzanine would be ideal for a swooping entrance and exit also a spare chair for draping ones cashmere cloak.

I am sure thet can be arranged, BigBertha. Do you require a position near the lavs, er, I mean, Little Girls’ Room, or can you manage a five minute dash?
What do you mean, Doodle, I’m not meant to ask that?

Ones femily are coming for luncheon today so one won't be in I'm afreed. Can one make a booking so as not to sit next to anyone not as refained as one for tomerrow?

Good idea doodle thanks so much, I’ll just settle down in the corner ..

brook believe me, you don’t want to know. It is a family secret passed from generation to generation. Our current witch master brewer is AGA. I suggest you just grab a cosy chair and our hunky barman will bring you a pint.

Just walking past the bar this evening and saw the door open .. looks like a good Saturday night in there so hope you don’t mind me popping in ...
Please tell me though what goes into that poteen? Me being a quiet and respectable girl - I’ve not heard of it before ...

Sorry Doodle. Maybe we need one of those warning signs - scrubber at work - or something similar.

Ouch ?. I’ve just slipped on the shiny toilet floor and slid into one of the basins. I was so dazzled by the shine I nearly knocked myself out. Brilliant job grandmajet.
Pants sounds as though you will be a perfect asset to our new venture. Are you any good at gattuxes too? ?

Well, I thought, someone’s gotta do it - so I got my scrubbing gear on and gave the lavs a good bottoming, all ship shape now, knobs and knockers all polished. You could eat your dinner off the floor in there.
That young man who’s up for the pilot job, do you think he’s posh enough for our laydees and gents? We have our standards you know! And we don’t want his kiddies climbing all over our ?.

Hectully Doodle, without blowing me own trombone, I’m quite famous, known as the Queen of Tarts Who Made the Tarts and Also Made the Jam!

And yes, cors I gotted a Stiffgit and a Badge as Perfect! There is no beginning to my talents, even if I say so meeself...?

Tell that to the boys behind the bike shed Pants ?
That young lad you mention ixion, he didn’t come with his own security guard did he ?
AGA you are so right, some nice jam tarts are required Pants could help us with the menus. As I remember she was teachers pet so I’m sure she has a stiffgit for calligraphy . ?

Like me pants I'm sure you make a nice tart. We need some jam ones in the tea room.

If it's not the llamas pinching the poteen it's lemon. Ah well I will have to flash my bloomers at Fast Fritz to get more cheap potatoes.

I say Doodle... let’s not be casting nasturtiums...Grandmajet is quite correct in assuming that being a scrubber is not my forte!

My days as a chambermaid are a rather fond reminiscence when gentlemen would ask me to oblige them...and I’d empty ‘em with a smile ?

Well, I had a wander up there this afternoon and, quite frankly, Caffè Florian it ain't. Not such a good idea to encourage Theo to make passion fruit cake.

Word has been getting round about the proposed helipad for the Wellness Spa clients.
Enquiry for pilot vacancy led to a nice lad getting in touch. He'd have to go parttime cos of 'other duties' he was too coy to expand on. Did his training and worked up in East Anglia somewhere on rescue missions?‍♀️. Has a wife and three small kiddies, so clearly needs whatever extra work is going.

??????? pants too lady like grandmajet ??you don’t know her like I do.

AGA, lemon’s nicked your batch of poteen again!

Just dropping in to leave you all a large choccy Easter egg each...Generosity is my middle name! I blame my Quaker parents for that, I would have preferred Angela.?
Anyhoo... me and Reggie are making a run for it now he’s out on bail, and we’re off to Barbados toot sweet.I will send a postcard.
P.S. Thanks for the barrel of poteen we found in the bar, am presuming it’s for us on the long sea voyage?

I can’t see pants scrubbing the toilets, she’s way too ladylike. She spends a lot in the tearoom too.
I’m exhausted from the double shifts and running up and down stairs - when is Theo going to get the dumb waiter fitted? I’m starting to get confused, and appeared in the tearoom in my bar attire of basque and fishnets! It didn’t go down well with the laydees, although their gentlemen seemed very friendly - they gave me plenty of tips.

ixion the self preservation courses will be popular and we can charge a huge amount.
As most of us have found out how to self-preserve over the years at the Argy we can teach the subject ourselves and save money.