The Argy Bar and Tea Room

We do need a few scrubbers doodle as all the other staff are busy. Thor ,Theo and I are hard at it in the cellar brewing the poteen and Theo is a very good baker and has made some angel cakes for the Tea Room. Also some Devil's cakes for the less innocent, those in the Argy Bar.

Tell me return how are you with a pair of Marigolds and a toilet plunger ? ?

Ooh, fresh blood, as it were. Trust that Vlad went home after his stint in the cellars, AGA?
We are planning expansion (in line with our lockdown waistlines) and currently have vacancies to join our happy and
motivated workforce ( smirks ) in bar work, afternoon tea room and our planned Wellness Spa, should you have talents in that direction.
I am sure that the Senior Management Team will be here to greet you shortly and offer self preservation self development guidance.

Not fussed about the hot cross bun, grandmajet, dodgy front crown
but I will be all over the poteen ?

Oh, and don’t pick out the ‘currants’, they are the best bit.

Return despite the rowdy nature of the Argy bar, all are welcome here. You should have come yesterday when we had the grand opening of our Tea room roof terrace. However, we are all so worn out we are having a peaceful evening in the Argy to relax.
AGA brews our poteen in the cellar. It packs a mighty punch so I hope you can find your way home again tonight. Pull up a barstool and the bronzed hunk behind the bar, Thor, will get you a pint. ?

Yes, come in, Returnofthemc, have a pint of poteen and a delicious hot cross bun. Be careful with the bun, you may need your best set of teeth to cope with it.

Just quietly walking by and heard the racket
What a bunch
'whispers', can I join, I'm not usually this forward, but it's been a tad quiet here at Mc Towers of late

grandmajet

Er, if we get a helipad, don’t we also need to get a ?.

Oh, come, come, Grandmajet
As my esteemed Professor used to say at Harvard B.S.' Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions'.

Good point grandmajet. Keep picking up those currants under the bar (note to self ...make sure the ferrets haven’t made a return) and making those delicious (if somewhat chewy buns). With plans for the Wellness centre underway it won’t be long before we can afford one.
Has anyone checked to see if the Admiral is still entertaining those ladies under the tablecloth upstairs? He was the surprise of the evening...who knew he still had the old charm ?

Er, if we get a helipad, don’t we also need to get a ?.

It’s quiet in here tonight, I think everyone is digesting the hot cross buns, they were rather large and extremely chewy. Quite interesting, I heard one lady comment. Is that good? I noticed quite a few people picked out the currants - they were currants weren’t they? I found them under the bar in the Argy.

Dithering Dave dithered once too often; I don’t think he’ll be back. I gave him my best glare, and he ran away.

ixion I am in awe of your business acumen. Since you have joined our ranks as the humble bog cleaner we have developed a completely new strategy to pull in the punters.
Now, who do we know that we can get to train for their pilots licence. ?

We will need a helipad - bet RR hasn't got one of them?

What are you implying, Pants? I’m a good girl, all the gentleman say so!

I wonder what lemon will think when she’s on Reggie’s yacht to see us sailing past in our super yacht ?

Wot ? a course that Pants didn’t get a stiffgit for. If we’re getting a hot tub and a Wellness centre I don’t think they should be on the roof it’s not stable enough. Let’s base it in the yard out back. We can have some fake palms and tart it all up.
Pants get back out there and get qualified. You can work with grandmajet, Thor and Theo.
A couple more weeks at this rate and we can start work on the Wellness centre.
We should be raking it in. ?

Ooh Grandmajet, I’ve heard about laydees doing massage offering a ‘finishing’ service - did you do those? Maybe that’s why you were popular...?

You’ll have to give me tips as I didn’t pass the massage module on my course - apparently I was too rough and it was suggested I go do freebies at the Turkish baths....?

It’s great that we’ve made such a huge profit, but are you sure the roof terrace is up to weight of a hot tub, plus the extra load of some of our, hmm, larger clients? It would be awkward if they all landed with a huge splash in the Argy bar and squashed some of the regulars.

I’m an excellent masseuse. I learned in the back streets down by the docks. All the sailors used to ask for me specially - I don’t know why.

Well, they'll have to be masseurs all round.
I don't want the chaps getting the wrong idea - it was a close run thing getting the Tea Room past Environmental Health. We don't want awkward inspections by Trading Standards as well.

I would like to be a customer of the Spa. We can get some others to do the work. After doing my 70 hour a week at the Argy Bar and Tea Room a facial and massage would be wonderful.

I agree grandmajet that sometimes it can become a strain, all this refinement after a year of slobbing abart.
Is Dithering Dave restricting his activities to afternoon service, or will he be helping out tonight?

Brilliant news AGA about the profits.
A few more like that and we can start planning the Argy Wellness Spa ???‍♂️??

It is much harder work than the Argy Bar grandmajet. I have only just recovered from yesterday.
I fell asleep in*lemon's*comfy chair after she left with Reggie. I was just tired. It had nothing to do with the seven pints of poteen.

I don’t know about a dumb waiter, dithering Dave who has ‘helped’ me with the hot cross bun service this afternoon certainly seems pretty dumb to me! He kept confusing the Admiral with Earl Grey. I can’t wait to get my fishnets back on and get down to the bar, I’m not sure all this fancy stuff is my cup of builders’ tea!

The Admiral has scrubbed up well and seems to be a hit with the tea room ladies. Amazing what a bar of soap, a razor and clothes that have been washed can do. He was even wearing aftershave!
Thor has asked his pal Theo to help him put in a dumb waiter so we don't have to run up and down stairs. We made thousands after just one session at the tea room so can afford one.