Noisy children.

I really sympathise - I have had the neighbours from hell with 6 children for 3 years. Not just children noise, parties for ours with loud music. It’s not just me that had complained - everybody has and the police are involved a lot!! It has ruined the last few summers when you want t sit quietly but I found noise cancelling headphones a godsend, listen to some music quietly and read a book and I can’t hear them at all! I should say I’ve fostered for years and have my own children/grandchildren but this was on a different scale. Thankfully they are being moved but I am well aware that a 5 bed house will attract a big family but no-one could be as bad. Unfortunately it’s a new build estate so three storey houses too close together so I suspect the headphones will be in use again- they really are a lifesaver!!

Neighbours can be such a curse. People have this "I'll do what I want in my own home" mentality. Wrong.

Thirty years ago I had to put up with two noisy boys next door and another at the back. Balls continually being kicked against the fence and coming over. Even though we are only a few hundred yards from the recreation ground.
They are now married and have left home but I still get no peace. Next door neighbour and one over the back are DIY fanatics. Even on Sundays there is drilling banging and sawing from morning to evening. Their wives are indoor types.

Some people live in their own little world and just don't realise that their noise that they see as self expression is upsetting to others.
I think it's time to have a quiet word or even pop a note through the door explaining that because of your health problems, you find that the football and screaming is spoiling the enjoyment of your own garden.
There is no reason now why they can't take the children out to a nearby park where they can run off some steam and scream and yell to their heart's desire!
Either that or try the classical music thing every now and then !

If you’ve not been bothered before by children next door it could be that the chronic pain you’re in is making you excessively irritated and sensitive about what sounds like the very normal life of a family of young children. Best not to say anything unless the ball is being kicked against your fence then have a gentle word about that. It is hard to be patient and mellow when you’re in pain and I hope you can get medical treatment soon.

Sara1954 - yes I completely understand parents desperation during lockdown, which is why I haven’t said anything to them. But I have a right to some peace in my garden too!

Sounds terrible and I feel so sorry for you. Hopefully, they'll soon discover gadgets and play on those indoors instead. Many people today are so selfish and inconsiderate, and many children are just feral, and that's from a young mum I know telling me this. You have a right to enjoy your home too. Have suffered at the hands of bad neighbours in the past and it's a difficult one indeed. I once politely and diplomatically tackled someone else's rotten neighbours for them, saying the lady was unwell and finding the noise etc stressful. Amazingly, it worked. I REALLY hope things improve for you soon. xx

I also don’t think you should have to wear noise cancelling headphones to enable you to sit in your own garden.

If it’s that bad, constantly, then the neighbours are simply being too noisy.

You really do have my sympathy. Great that the parents join in the children's play and generally very pleasant hearing children enjoying the outdoors but when it's as bad as you say it would drive me round the bend. I would definitely keep the hedge high to help drown out the noise but basically there's not much you can do without a major fall out with neighbours and even that probably would not change things.

Completely agree with you moorlikeit

You need to keep a diary of when and for how long at each occasion they scream, cry or kick a football against your fence to establish a record so you have evidence to backup your complaints. If it is for a prolonged period then you can ask you neighbours if they could take their children to the local park to play football with friends.

MiniDriver56

We complained about football outside our house! Was told they are family homes what do you expect? I expect children to be respectful of other peoples properties, knocking down plants etc, equally scratching our cars in our own driveway! We have a two year old who plays in the road up to 7pm! My grandson is in bed by 7pm and he 3! Some children are allowed to do what they like!

Yes I once asked some children to stop screaming and shouting directly outside my window at gone 10 O clock one night and to move onto the communal green which was a few feet further away. The attitude of one of their fathers was 'you bought beside a green so what do you expect?'

Children should be taught from an early age to consider other people's feelings. If they grow up thinking that they can make as much noise as they like, they become the adult neighbours from hell that all too common now.
It is up to parents to achieve a balance - allowing their children to let off steam for 15 - 30 minutes and then insist that they pipe down and allow the neighbours to enjoy their gardens in peace.
Mental health is deteriorating in our crowded society and much of that is down to excess noise and a belief that you can do as you please.

I sympathise Anne. It's a shame there couldn't be some sort of communal rota where just for an hour or two every day people could enjoy some quiet time in their garden, and the majority of the time left for those who enjoy making a lot of noise in their gardens.

I have neigbhours. One has grand chidlren and I can hear them playing most weekends. But they are just happy children noises. Not annoying or upsetting,
But the other side have a daughter who screams continually. They never say anything. Neighbours who are further away have asked if she is alright? The noise is very annoying but they are not the sort of people that you can speak to.

Its a tough one I work with 30 children so I can tolerate my neighbours kids easily as Im used to the noise. Are you home alot? Do you belong to any groups or can you not move around still? Try listening to the radio talk back shows they are always interesting or have tv on or soft rain sleep music in the background just enough drowns out loud noise

I quite agree, the noise levels of the children opposite me could break the sound barrier. The father is forever shouting above the noise. Maybe if posters lived with the noise they may have a different view

Noise cancelling headphones ordered and being delivered tomorrow.
Thank you all for input and advice.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I feel for you Annsixty. We had some very intrusive neighbours, the younger child had a netball, constantly being bounced on their patio next door to ours. I bought one too, and started bouncing it on my patio, at odd times. She stopped.

May I put this into some perspective.
Like you @annsixty I had been waiting for a new hip, the NHS duly provided me with one in August 2020.
I had neighbours one side with 3 barking dogs and children, and the other side 2 barking dogs.
In September 2020 the NHS also duly provided me with a cochlear implant which meant I went from being deaf to hearing. My brain went into overload with noise. But I was so grateful to be able to hear those children playing. I can now listen to the birds singing too. Guess I will have to learn to put the dogs barking as well in the background as much as possible, and just be grateful that I can hear, it’s amazing !

I have the opposite problem! I live in a bungalow with other bungalows and elderly residents all around. I am much younger ( 64!) and get on well with my immediate neighbours. When i am in the garden it is so quiet, I rarely hear anything other than lawns being cut and during lockdown I would have loved to hear other people around me.

I envied people who spoke of street get togethers, chatting to passers by or seeing people passing by. All our lounges are at the back so there have been many days when I have not seen anyone or heard anything. It’s very odd to sit outside and feel totally isolated in the middle of an urban area!

Mind you, there is a yappy dog at the back which grates but luckily it is only outside for a short time. However, I suspect I would moan if my neighbours were very noisy, screaming children and repetitive bangs are really annoying.

Hello Annsixty, Plenty of feedback on this subject!! We all have experience of this horror - unless we are rich enough to own a large surround of ground that keeps others noises away from us. I had to move house to get away from the same problem. But I also think it is a generation difference in lifestyle. I feel sure my children made too much noise for the elderly lady who lived next door to me. Se la Vie

At least now they're back at school (after Easter) you can have a break from the noise. We used to live next door to 3 noisy children and the little girl was a terrible screamer; worse when they got the trampoline for them. Turned out that she had a form of autism (hence the screaming) which did help me bear it a bit better. But the only things that helped were: noise cancelling headphones, using the garden only when they were at school or away; and sometimes playing classical music really loud out of the back window. Funny thing was that the father came around and asked me to turn it down (!) to which I replied "I'll turn it down when you turn your children down". Nothing worked until they moved out. Another family now live there and they couldn't be quieter.

I would find the noise level you are describing troublesome and annoying too.

However, there is very little you can do about it.

Parents these days, perhaps it always was the case, become offended if you say anything and will definitely not attempt to control their children.

The attitude is "children are children and have to be allowed to play".

Yes, well neither you nor I am denying that - we are only asking to be able to enjoy our own gardens!

If you decide to speak to the parents, start by offering a compromise, for instance, "Obviously, your children enjoy playing in their garden, but I must admit, I find the noise very tiring.
Could we agree that they don't shout, sing or kick balls about between two and four in the afternoon, please? You see, I have to rest then.

If it is your fence, I think you can ask that the boy does not kick his ball against it at any time. If it is a party fence, or theirs, they can pretty much let him do what he wants.

If the fence is on your ground, I would simply take it down and put up wire netting that shrubs can grow up instead.