Noisy children.

Typical of modern day families that let their kids rule the roost. No-one considers teaching children good behaviour, good manners and respect. It costs nothing to teach children when to let off steam and when to behave considerately to others. I know I'll get blasted for this, especially as I never had kids, but I have nieces and nephews and I have friends with the same and they are all respectful. Letting kids dictate the tune makes for people that think the world owes them everything rather than having to work for it. I bet a lot of young people who go around, taking/dealing drugs, shooting/stabbing others and abusing the opposite sex male or female are people who, as children, were allowed to do their own thing all the time without any discipline.

Gannygangan he sounds like the ideal neighbour!

To all those who are waxing lyrical about the sound of children playing, it's not always the best experience.

I can empathise with the OP

We had 3 of the little darlings playing outside in all weathers. Seemed as if they got up and Mum had them outside from 7am onwards.

10 years it lasted. Balls, climbing frames, trampolines. Screaming, bouncing, fighting. Then they got to the teen age and they had these parties outside with a whiff of cannabis along with some grime music.

My children were the same age as theirs and I managed to raise them to have fun but to be mindful of other people.

They've moved now. Thankfully. Lovely old chap with a cat. Couldn't ask for a better neighbour.

You have my sympathies. I had neighbours who were very noisy and would kick footballs at the fence for hours, the noise was terrible, I did ask them to stop but it seemed to get worse afterwards. I love to hear children playing and having fun but they should go to the park to play football. Thankfully my neighbours have moved.

I had exactly the same trouble, and I had paid for the fence. I asked the 14-year-old boy to stop kicking the ball and he eventually complied. How ironic that some years later his mother asked me to pay towards a new fence ( her son had damaged it so badly it had a large hole in it) I refused!

annsixty
Change wooden fences to what farmers install for keeping in sheep /goats. Wire. Get advice from farm supplies , plenty on the internet.
There are various shapes and sizes, making sure its strong. It will come in various sizes. The ball will bounce off without noise . Make it higher than the previous wooden fence.
No advice,sorry. on preventing noise,

You have my sympathy. I think there is a big difference between children playing happily and what you've described. It must be very stressful for you. There are families in houses backing onto ours where the children seem excessively noisy (shrieking, screaming) and to this is added the sound of parents shouting loudly at them. Then there are the people who think it is absolutely fine to play very loud music in their gardens, for hours on end, often using amplifiers, or to play it from their houses with all their windows open, so loud it can be heard many houses away. There is no thought to the effect on other people.

Apologies if I sound snippy about this, but my sister who has always adored children has sadly been unable to have any of her own. This has been a huge unhappiness and disappointment to her.

Now that she is older she finds the stereotyping of those who complain about inconsiderate or badly behaved children as 'grumpy old bats who've never had kids of their own' hurtful and unfair.

It's so untrue. I am just as likely as her to become irritated by screaming children in a restaurant, and many many parents on this thread have sympathised with the OP, who is herself a parent and grandparent.

So perhaps people could stop and think before unnecessarily adding that someone is widowed with no children, as if this is the reason for 'grumpy' behaviour.

Anyhow, don't want to derail the thread but just feel this stereotyping should be called out when it occurs. People like my sis have had enough sadness to deal with. Hurtful clichés don't help.

When my son was small he was playing football his grandparents’s garden and the ball went over the hedge to next door on a few occasions. The neighbour (a widow who never had children) was in her garden when my son shouted at the top of his voice ‘Grandma, Mrs ........ is being grumpy again!. I think she must have told him not to kick it over again. Whoops!

You have all my sympathy annesixty and this is one of the reasons why we chose to live in a house with no neighbours.

We have five grandchildren, and none of them have made the kind of continuous racket you are describing - even when they're here all together!

Kids and footballs ... AARRGGHH!!!

Thankfully not in the last few years but between 2008 and 2016 kids in my neighbourhood felt it necessary to play football in the street behind my house and they would regularly, deliberately kick the ball over the top of the row of garages that backed onto our properties, using my garden as the goal.

Once the ball landed in my garden, the obnoxious little oiks would climb over my garden gate to retrieve it rather than knocking my front door, apologising and politely asking whether they could have their ball back (as any respectable parent would have taught their children to do).

I spent years talking to the kids and their parents, requesting that they refrain from trespassing, my words fell on deaf ears, so I started with threats of police and court action (they totally trashed no less than 3 gates in a year), still nothing, until I threatened to put a knife through the ball if it came over again, you should have heard the language I got from a bunch of 12yr olds telling me that I wouldn't dare do it. Needless to say, I did dare! The next time a ball landed in my garden one of the brats was standing on top of the garage, swearing at me, so I stabbed the ball with a carving knife and flicked it up onto the garage roof.

Two sets of parents later caught up with me in the street later that day and in no uncertain terms told me I had no right to do it. The following day I saw the mother of the child whose ball it was and she gave me a pat on the back for doing it because even though her son hadn't kicked it over, all the kids needed to learn that their actions had consequences!

After that, the kids either learned to knock and ask likely or they played elsewhere.

My neighbours' children are very noisy too. I'm sure they're not as bad as yours (as it's not all day every day) but I'm a teacher and I don't want to sit in my garden and hear kids and their shrieky mother. I want to hear birds and bees and... the sound of silence. This was a quiet neighbourhood till they moved in. So I can empathise with you OP. I hope it gets better as they grow!

Normal childhood play is usually OK, but when you have a child constantly screaming or a ball banging against the fence... This is nor acceptable or fair to immediate neighbours. As a child we used our garden regularly but were taught not to scream or bang on the fences. Its learning respect for others.

My three year old grandson is very noisy! I have apologized to my neighbours several times, and they say they have no problem with his noise since it’s during the day. They say noisy nighttime parties are so much worse. I used to be pretty intolerant of the noise of children, until I heard a Holocaust survivor describe it as the sound of life. Made me think of it in a whole new way. I recommend noise cancelling headphones.

Cheaper than headphones or soundproofing are wax earplugs from chemists, really good.

It may be an idea to separate your neeeds and wants maybe you are over -focussed on the short-comings of your neighbors -particularly if you are constantly psyched up for disruption
Do you have a hobby you could get more involved in to de-energise this negative situation

You are lucky as many families are much more disruptive neighbor situations loud music parties etc TVs on loud and late if this is a real noise pollution problem the community police can help otherwise maybe you should consider re-locating to a sound-proofed dwelling !

Wish I had the answer for you, I have also lived with incessant kicking of a ball on the fence, it’s horrendous and lasted for almost 10 years. They don’t sound like reasonable people to me, so don’t think talking to them is going to work. Only suggestion is either move house, or if you have a nice garden at the front, take chairs out there, you can get more interaction with passing neighbours, I know it’s not private, but might be better than the front. Problem is if they know it bothers you they could make it worse, o headphones at the ready. Hope it stops sooner rather than later

Its like having tinnitus you have a retrain your brain in distraction mode lol xx

I used to be a teacher and love the sound of children. The children next door can be noisy- no problem- but their dog Is another matter- in the garden, it barks incessantly- for no apparent reason other than for attention- I feel a bit sorry for it actually- the owners don’t seem to take any notice of it at all!!??

Sounds to me from reading all these posts, that with a little tolerance/consideration situations like this could be easily avoided.

Whilst i am happy to hear children play and thst is what they should be dping. What you are describing is not normal play, not acceptable at all. After all you have to live a life too. Anyone who says its just children etc can not have had to endure such awful behaviour. It sounds as though the parents are inconsiderate and ignorant. I am one of 7 children and remember my parents telling us to quieten down neighbours dont want to hear you. Its respect and sounds like ypur neighbours have none. Banging against the fence is too much. What you can do about it im not sure. If it is your fence you are quite within your rights to ask them to stop.

its difficult, at the moment , with the pandemic, feelings are heightened, especially when we cant get out, its a bit like chinese torture, not easy really as to what to do about it, parents will probably say that the children are only playing and letting off steam. i do feel for you and sympathise though

The context in which the question was asked.

What on earth is rude about enquiring if someone has children?

SooozedaFlooze

Just wondering if you had children as you say you lived in your house for 45 years and these people have moved in your old friends house.
Children playing is a delight to hear. Have you considered how hard they've had the last year being stuck indoors?
Teenagers swearing & gobbing off in the garden I would agree with you on but children, come on

But the op isn't complaining about children playing. She's complaining about constant shouting and screaming and a football being repeatedly kicked against the shared fence. That most certainly isn't 'a delight to hear'. Have they considered how difficult the last year has been for the elderly or vulnerable whose only opportunity to be outside and to get some fresh air is by sitting in their garden? Unlike children who can run around the park and go on family walks.

Why does it matter whether the OP has had children or not. What a rude question. Many parents have come on here and said that level of noise would drive them mad.