Joke! Remember them?

It's hard keeping up with what's not OK to say these days

It's hard to keep up for us ladies though
Galaxy I understand perfectly if you can't stand the pace, so with this being "My Thread" I hereby give you permission to drop out; no refunds though!

Even "no shrinking violet Alegrias" is beginning to wilt and lose her cool!
We'll miss you!
OoRoo

It's hard to keep up for us ladies though. Apparently we are too delicate to cope with swear words but if we cant cope with the banter well we are no fun.

Jim Davidson! Another blast from the past. He was never a favourite of mine but I probably have laughed at a few of his jokes. I suppose that's another confession that will have me confined for the duration. I always thought I was a pretty reasonable bloke but how can that be true? I am male, white, atheist and, wait for for it, old enough to have voted Leave twice in my lifetime - and I don't even have the excuse of being stupid, gullible or racist!

Jeez Rufus just keep digging.

I know what you're getting at and it really isn't funny. Jim Davidson called and he wants his joke book back.

Keep up.
He was my boss, there was no audience
Coo-Er; Alone with the boss and he's using an "F" word! I always thought ladies didn't tell!?
.
I thought I was keeping up, but now I think I'm drowning in a sea of wit!
Think it best if I head off and attend to my "Chewsday newsletter!
OoRoo

OK, that's quite funny

Just because a joke mentions a bear it doesn't make it bearist.

The furry creature, beloved of young and old (if not people who have actually met a hungry one face-to-face in the forest) was not simply mentioned. It's physical features were manipulated to make a dreadful pun. Guilty on 2 counts!

Keep up.

He was my boss, there was no audience.

if he used it when I was present
Obviously he 's an idiot if he used it with you in the audience!

Btw; If i crack a joke about skunks will you say "It Stinks"?

I had a boss who used to use the F-word a lot. If he used it when I was present he used to apologise.

That annoyed me intensely. I'm not a shrinking violet who will melt into a puddle if she hears the F-word. Not a gentleman, but an idiot.

Should have seen his face when I used it back at him.

It has been my experience that the best Irish jokes are told by the Irish
Oldwoman 70, I fully agree, except to say "Any jokes"
We had an Irish lawn bowler in our Club, called Jim and after a game he'd regale us with all sorts of jokes!
With a schooner of beer to hand, he'd reel them off endlessly some of them sprinkled with the "F"word which only helps to reinforce punchlines.
His Irish brogue was lovely to hear.
Unfortunately he took them all to the crematorium and never got round to writing his "Jokes Book"
Yet strangely, as soon as a Lady bowler joined the table he would switch to polite mode immediately
Shows that Aussie males do know their manners!
He was a "Gentleman Jim'
OoRoo

Just because a joke mentions a bear it doesn't make it bearist.

Gosh! The Reader's Digest still lives! I see what you mean about one liners but I didn't have to read far to see a bearist joke and another which might have mathematicians seeking an anaesthetic (or perhaps a number).

Scotch is a drink
Alegrias Well I never did! as me Mam used to say!
I forgot to mention that the "Scotch flavour" came from a glass of it at the time; a top-of-the range single malt that bears our family name. Makes any joke bearable!

In order to judge something I need to hear both sides of the argument otherwise the case gets thrown out!
OoRoo

If so, we face the stark choice of people being able to take a joke or having no jokes.

101 jokes where nobody is the butt of them, just for who they are. Although I'm not sure about the hipster one.

www.rd.com/list/short-jokes/

I remarked to my son-in-law that you couldn't make jokes about anyone these days except people from Norfolk. Being a simple man from the land of the sugar beet, I thought this somewhat unfair. He replied that somebody is likely to be the butt of a joke. If so, we face the stark choice of people being able to take a joke or having no jokes.

I find a huge difference between the sense of humour between generations. As a man, I can banter with good women friends of my own age who give at least as good as they get; but if I trespass into my daughter's age group, even with an relatively innocent remark, and I get scowls. I reflect that the banter in our family butcher's shop when I was a teenager made even me blush; but these were men and women who had probably known one another from schooldays and had used all kinds of humour to survive the hardships of war.

Today, I would rather suffer the slings of arrows of a witty ageist, sexist joke, said in good humour than endure a comedian relating his or her experiences with the more intimate parts of their bodies.

Rufus2

Susiewoozie Sorry if you feel demeaned!

Rest assured; some of my best GN friends are Scots whom I wouldn't dare bash!
Perhaps the following is more your style!
Comes courtesy of "The Oldie" mag. Full of good jokes and serious articles on a host of topics. I believe they are currently selling cheap copies to those in need.

A university lecturer is giving a talk on language.
"The funny thing is, we all know about double negatives that are positives – like 'I didn't say I wouldn't do it'," the lecturer says. "But I've never, in 40 years, come across a double positive with a negative meaning."

And a bright student in the audience said, "Yeah, yeah."

Scottish version:

A linguistics professor told his class "in English, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative"

To which came a Scottish voice from the back "Aye, right."

Not just taking our oil, taking our jokes too. That's just a joke, BTW, before we get shouts of racism against the English

I’m mostly just seeing misogynistic and xenophobic stuff here - did I miss the ‘jokes’?

It has been my experience that the best Irish jokes are told by the Irish, the best West Indian jokes told by West Indians, the best English jokes told by the English - you see where I am going with this.

I recall a West Indian friend telling me he was tired of people taking offence on his behalf - he had a great sense of humour and often told jokes which, it would seem would have given some GNs a fit of the vapours!

Scotch is a drink. Or a lamb.

The best joke so far was so funny that GNHQ decided to delete it because it was so insulting. And not to Scots. Judge that for yourselves.

As a Scot i don't find jokes where Scot's are the but of the joke offensive
Grannypiper As a Sassenach, neither do I Some of my best jokes have a Scotch flavour!

(Firecracker) "best joke so far"
What joke and where is it? Was it deleted?

Some of the best jokes come from hospital night-nurses when doing blood pressure tests at 3 am, such as;
"Why do they give elderly gentlemen in nursing homes Viagra in their supper.?
To prevent them from falling out of bed in the middle of the night!"
The latest is a bit too Scottish, but I'm working on it!
OoRoo

As a Scot i don't find jokes where Scot's are the but of the joke offensive and as Scottish is not a race i can't find them racist. Don't be offended in my name

Careful Rufus - that one is definitely animalist!

I do,find these threads sad. We ALL need to be able to laugh at ourselves. I am blonde. No one campaigned to stop the all blondes are stupid jokes, and they shouldn't.
I KNOW I am reasonably intelligent (for a blonde), and its not aimed at me personally. And sometimes, it is funny.

And I am now grey, so dont give a damn at all?

Overtly rascist or sexist jokes are terrible, but lets get a grip with the rest!

Firecracker Best joke so far. My contribution is as follows, A man walks in to a bakers and asks is that a doughnut or a meringue ? The baker replies, naw, yer right enough it's a doughnut.