This is very confusing about where you are, where you have been and all the intricacies of family. Couldn't ever contemplate moving about so much. So many horrible things happening in US just now glad I don't live there and will never go there!
For what it's worth - men tend to not talk about being suicidal and don't blame it on someone else before they do it. They are silent and just do it. Sounds more like he is playing you.
The next thread for friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life
What gives you a warm feeling? 🥰